Thats the purpose of the thread Micheal !! Hope you continue to enjoy!Originally Posted by Michael Parnham
A farmer in Yorkshire sees a bloke drinking from his stream & shouts: "Ey up Cocker, tha dunt wanna be drinkin watta frum theer, its full o hoss piss an cow ..... an it could kill thee".
The bloke says: "Sir, I am a muslim from Pakistan , can you be speaking clearer, and slower please"
The farmer replies: "If.... You.... Use.... Two.... Hands.... You....Won't... Spill....any"
One fer our Graham!
An American photographer on vacation was inside a church in Leeds taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '£10,000 per call'
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God
The American thanked the priest and went along his way
Next stop was in Bradford
There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it
He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Leeds and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God
'O.K., thank you,' said the American
He then travelled to York, Rotherham, Sheffield Dewsbury, and Pickering
In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same '£10,000 per call' sign under it
The American, upon leaving Yorkshire decided to travel up to Lancashire to see if Lancastrians had the same phone
He arrived in Wigan, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '50 pence per call'
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Padre, I've travelled all over Yorkshire and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven, but in Yorkshire the price was £10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?'
The priest smiled and answered 'You're in Lancashire now my son ... it's a local call'
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