Worried about my filipina gf

[marcus]

Guys i really need your advice. I am new here for the reason of getting your feedback.

I have been in love with my filipina gf for 12 months now and i went to the philippines to be with her for 6 months. I have done a lot of giving and have had some ups and downs but nothing like what i got to find out today.

My gf has 2 sisters who are married to japanese. Another who has a filipine bf and another single. The family dont like me because i dont to have the money like the sisters husband have and i have been accused of not looking after her 7 year old boy. I found out last week that my gf age wasnt 32 like i was told but 24 years. She has toild me today that she handed over her name to her sister to go to japan to get married to her japanese husband because she was married before to a philipino man and wasnt able to get a proper divorce because you not allowed to get divorced in the philippines, so my gf said that her sister took on the name of her and was married under her name to her japanese husband and she got her visa to move to japan. The reason she did this was to pull the family out of the poverty and give the family a chance for financial freedom. Not only that but my gfs boy was also signed over to her sister and his birth certificate so he could be looked after by her. Even though the child was born by my gf before i met her through another relationship previous. My gf age was changed on the birth certificate and instead of being 32 as she said she was it is 24 yrs in her passport and birth certificate. This was to change the identity of my gf sister to marry and go to Japan with her husband. However my gf has had relationships with wealthy men before and was offered alot of money , but when she fell in love withb me he family made her a slave and treated her terrible for the reltionship she was having with me. The family today after all this time dont speak or talk with me and never recognise me and wont have anything to do with me. This is bad enough in itself but i am shocked to hear this news today...has anyone come across this before.? Please reply me because i hope to find an answer. What do you think i should do. Mark

[joebloggs]

seek advice from a Immigration and criminal lawyer, i dont think there is any easy way to sort this out

[sars_notd_virus]

Guys i really need your advice. I am new here for the reason of getting your feedback.

I have been in love with my filipina gf for 12 months now and i went to the philippines to be with her for 6 months. I have done a lot of giving and have had some ups and downs but nothing like what i got to find out today.

My gf has 2 sisters who are married to japanese. Another who has a filipine bf and another single. The family dont like me because i dont to have the money like the sisters husband have and i have been accused of not looking after her 7 year old boy. I found out last week that my gf age wasnt 32 like i was told but 24 years. She has toild me today that she handed over her name to her sister to go to japan to get married to her japanese husband because she was married before to a philipino man and wasnt able to get a proper divorce because you not allowed to get divorced in the philippines, so my gf said that her sister took on the name of her and was married under her name to her japanese husband and she got her visa to move to japan. The reason she did this was to pull the family out of the poverty and give the family a chance for financial freedom.

Sorry Mark, I think you have been set up and scammed , forget about your filipina gf and move on

[bigmarco]

Hi Marcus and welcome to our forum.
As you have been in this relationship for 12 months and you've only just found out her age it would appear that there has been quite a bit of deceit on the part of your girlfriend and her family. To continue with the relationship with a view to to making it permanent would doubtless involve more lies and deceit only this time involving you. Do you really want that.
Lets face it to come clean now would result in jeapordising the sisters marriage to the Japanese husband. I cant see the family going along with that.
In the words of Matt Monro I think it's time to "WALK AWAY".
I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation and I wish you all the best for the future.

[jehzroblenida]

I feel bad and worried hearing stories like yours.
As a Filipina, I am well aware that some Filipina's are doing this to help their family which is not the right thing to do. You need to have a word with her and ask if she's willing to leave her family even if they "don't like you". If she's willing to do it then sort advice from lawyers so you can both move forward as a couple.

[tiger31]

seek advice from a Immigration and criminal lawyer, i dont think there is any easy way to sort this out

easy way out alright he should get the hell out of that relationship that story is unreal

[grahamw48]

Hi Mark.

In all seriousness, I would recommend you find a new lady...preferably one who has NOT been accustomed to being maintained by 'rich' foreigners, who is GUARANTEED free of children, and is not a liar.

Mate, I have 'been there done that'.

There are so many lovely uncomplicated girls there that you and I both know that you'll stand a better chance at finding happiness with one of those, rather than set yourself up for a life of pain, mistrust and aggravation with the present girlfriend.

Do the sensible thing.

[jehzroblenida]

I'm sorry to say this but your other option is to let go and move on. You got to remember that if your gf is too attached with her family, it will be a future problem for you.

A good foundation of a relationship are "respect", "honesty", and "true love".

[marcus]

She is willing to leave her family and move to australia with me and she tells me that she really hates her famioly for the way they now treat her with me. So she is willing to move away and on with me. I have been trying to get her visa to come here with me but hearing this has just made me unsettled and unsure about the future. She said that it was her herself that offered this way out for her sister to have her ID and name and move out of the country to be with her japanese husband. She did it for her family. Her familoy have pressured her to leave me and move to japan so she can find a japanese husband who is rich enough to look after her, but she doesnt like japanese men, and prefers me instead. So the family have shut the door me and her. So she is isolated and so am i working in Australia so she can come here.

[Dedworth]

A tangled web of deceit, what she's telling you now could well be another pack of lies I'd shape up and ship out now before it costs you massively.

As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children

[jehzroblenida]

A tangled web of deceit, what she's telling you now could well be another pack of lies I'd shape up and ship out now before it costs you massively.

As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children

Agree! Be very careful! Sometimes it's better to use your mind than your heart. Look for a Filipina who's not even asking for money or any thing (that's one way to know if the lady is genuine).

[tone]

Mate in the future despite the pain now there will be bigger pain and then a lot of regret.
From what you have said I'd offer only one piece of advice which is move on.

Good luck in what you do.
Tone

[Terpe]

Marcus, I'm also very sorry to learn your story.

Do you believe you can legally succeed in securing a visa for your g/f to enter Australia ?
Then to secure a permanent visa?
Personally I doubt it.

Aside from which, I agree with those comments intimating that you are likely to face a very bumpy and uncertain future with this lady.

[imagine]

cut your losses and run

[gWaPito]

A tangled web of deceit, what she's telling you now could well be another pack of lies I'd shape up and ship out now before it costs you massively.

As Graham says there are plenty of truthful, honest filipinas out there who are free of children

Gotta agree with Graham and Ded here...too much baggage...life is complicated enough with adding additional mill stones over one's head

Trust your gut instinct...trust the instinct what got you to join this forum to seek help and advice.

Dont look at the last 12 months as lost look at it as a lesson of life

Good Luck
From one Mark to another

[mickcant]

Hi marcus
I too loved a Filipina who even married me but it was all lies, she wanted only money and a visa, please walk away now, it will get much worse.

There are good honest ladies there who will truly love you back, walk away from this one.
Mick.

[laurel]

Hi Mark ,................as difficult as it may be , please take the advice of those who have been hurt and have learned the awfull and hard way.

Take a deep breath , and move on............its way too complicated , and the signs are there of lies , deceit , trickery ,etc etc .

I wish you the very best of luck..............

[Rhose]

hi marcus! welcome to the forum!!
I am a filipina and most of us knew about our culture being attached with our family but in your case I'd better to leave your gf. May be she's using you to get out from her situation. We are in modern era where a woman could take care of herself by finding a job not in your resource. Think about yourself, it's better to loose her and move on. Find somebody whom you deserve.

[Leen]

in 12 months of your relationship with her you just found out recently about that lie?think about it b4 making any move of going back to her,that woman will do anything and everything to lie to you over and over again....you better get out of that mess.....relationship is not all about love,for it to work out properly we need trust,respect,commitment and honesty and i doubt your gf had it....feel sorry for you but you'll be more sorry and it will cause you great pain if you will cling on

[Iani]

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through mate. I'm afraid the clincher for me here, is the fact she didn't tell you her real age until a YEAR into the relationship. Something like that is a pretty big lie to carry.

Now add to this the complexity, is her sister really married - if she wasn't divorced before? It's a criminal offence in the UK, I don't know about where she is now.

Unfortunately there's more baggage being handled here than Heathrow

[malditako]

Guys i really need your advice. I am new here for the reason of getting your feedback.

I have been in love with my filipina gf for 12 months now and i went to the philippines to be with her for 6 months. I have done a lot of giving and have had some ups and downs but nothing like what i got to find out today.

My gf has 2 sisters who are married to japanese. Another who has a filipine bf and another single. The family dont like me because i dont to have the money like the sisters husband have and i have been accused of not looking after her 7 year old boy. I found out last week that my gf age wasnt 32 like i was told but 24 years. She has toild me today that she handed over her name to her sister to go to japan to get married to her japanese husband because she was married before to a philipino man and wasnt able to get a proper divorce because you not allowed to get divorced in the philippines, so my gf said that her sister took on the name of her and was married under her name to her japanese husband and she got her visa to move to japan. The reason she did this was to pull the family out of the poverty and give the family a chance for financial freedom. Not only that but my gfs boy was also signed over to her sister and his birth certificate so he could be looked after by her. Even though the child was born by my gf before i met her through another relationship previous. My gf age was changed on the birth certificate and instead of being 32 as she said she was it is 24 yrs in her passport and birth certificate. This was to change the identity of my gf sister to marry and go to Japan with her husband. However my gf has had relationships with wealthy men before and was offered alot of money , but when she fell in love withb me he family made her a slave and treated her terrible for the reltionship she was having with me. The family today after all this time dont speak or talk with me and never recognise me and wont have anything to do with me. This is bad enough in itself but i am shocked to hear this news today...has anyone come across this before.? Please reply me because i hope to find an answer. What do you think i should do. Mark

giving identity to someone else was very common way back early 90's to those who wishes to work in japan as a entertainer. I remember a close friend of mine in high school who used her sisters birth certification so she can work in japan as a singer b'coz her age wont fit the governments required age ( bit young). If thats the case of your GF it is impossible for her to get a passport again unless she would use someone elses birth certificate just like her sister. if that makes sense. No surprise your gf's family may also want a japanese man for her. I saw a lot of filipinas married to a japanese man. Most of them own the biggest houses if not mansion inside our village. Get what they want from branded clothing, bags etc. and their generosity extends to the wifes family.

[grahamw48]

Unfortunately 'entertainer' was often another word for 'prostitute'.

[Rhose]

Unfortunately 'entertainer' was often another word for 'prostitute'.

agree

[marga]

Hi marcus

All i can say is forget your gf and move on.Find a woman who is baggage free.She will just give you more pain in the future if you continue with your relationship.

Dont stress yourself with your gf and her family as they only seek a man who will make them rich.

[marcus]

giving identity to someone else was very common way back early 90's to those who wishes to work in japan as a entertainer. I remember a close friend of mine in high school who used her sisters birth certification so she can work in japan as a singer b'coz her age wont fit the governments required age ( bit young). If thats the case of your GF it is impossible for her to get a passport again unless she would use someone elses birth certificate just like her sister. if that makes sense. No surprise your gf's family may also want a japanese man for her. I saw a lot of filipinas married to a japanese man. Most of them own the biggest houses if not mansion inside our village. Get what they want from branded clothing, bags etc. and their generosity extends to the wifes family.

Yes thanks for that....Two of her sisters are supposedly married to Japanese men and they have at least one child each to the ir relationship. When they found out i had run out of money in my last trip they closed the door on me and tried to get my gtf to leave me and have her visit Japan for two months. I was on skype with her every night but the family were cold and unfriendly and never wanted to speak or be friendly with me. Her birth certificate say she is 24 and the dates stack up on her passport too. Her name is the same on both. Except that she said and advertised her age at 32.

Her Birth certificate was issued in March 2007. And it has it authenticated and sworn as her at age at 24. But i know she is 32. She doesnt look 24. It stacks up that she did a swap with her sister. Because her sister is older than her. Yes apparently to get to Japan she swapped her identity and she also took legal paternity of her boy who is 7 years old. I feel alot is missing in this story. But thats all i got so far. My gf said she did it to protect and help her family . She said the atorny or judge approved the "change" of names and age to secure the things they needed to do. I find it personally illegal and highly risky because if the family tun on her like they have now and treat her like a slave and close the door on her because of her relationship with me smacks of corruption and illegal nightmare that not only includes her family but the judge that was aware of the change in the first place. None of this makes any sense, because her japanese husband could be brought to justice if caught abetting this issue. They want to take her boy off her too, so he is kept in her sisters family in Japan. But my gf wants to return him to her ex boyfriends family in the philippines for upbring. But her family wanbt her to hand him over to them in Japan . They pay big money so he is looked after and goes to the private school and gets everything he needs but my gf gets nothing from them, and she is the one that helped her sister in the first place. It just baffles the mind why her family could do this to her. They should be at her door trying to look after her (my gf) not treat her like a slave in the family ... I just dont get it.

hER

[marcus]

I feel bad and worried hearing stories like yours.
As a Filipina, I am well aware that some Filipina's are doing this to help their family which is not the right thing to do. You need to have a word with her and ask if she's willing to leave her family even if they "don't like you". If she's willing to do it then sort advice from lawyers so you can both move forward as a couple.

Yes she wants the relationship very much, and wants to walk away from her family who have treated her bad. They never treated her bad when her ex was sending 1 million p to her every year but he never turned up to visit her from the US after 3 years online with her. She gave a lot of money away to her family and friends that needed it. But when she turned down the relationship for me , she un beknowns also got a shock at how her family was treating her when they found out i wasnt as rich. They have become cold and arrogant and have said and done things which i am ashamed to even talk about on this forum.

[Rhose]

Yes thanks for that....Two of her sisters are supposedly married to Japanese men and they have at least one child each to the ir relationship. When they found out i had run out of money in my last trip they closed the door on me and tried to get my gtf to leave me and have her visit Japan for two months. I was on skype with her every night but the family were cold and unfriendly and never wanted to speak or be friendly with me. Her birth certificate say she is 24 and the dates stack up on her passport too. Her name is the same on both. Except that she said and advertised her age at 32.

Her Birth certificate was issued in March 2007. And it has it authenticated and sworn as her at age at 24. But i know she is 32. She doesnt look 24. It stacks up that she did a swap with her sister. Because her sister is older than her. Yes apparently to get to Japan she swapped her identity and she also took legal paternity of her boy who is 7 years old. I feel alot is missing in this story. But thats all i got so far. My gf said she did it to protect and help her family . She said the atorny or judge approved the "change" of names and age to secure the things they needed to do. I find it personally illegal and highly risky because if the family tun on her like they have now and treat her like a slave and close the door on her because of her relationship with me smacks of corruption and illegal nightmare that not only includes her family but the judge that was aware of the change in the first place. None of this makes any sense, because her japanese husband could be brought to justice if caught abetting this issue. They want to take her boy off her too, so he is kept in her sisters family in Japan. But my gf wants to return him to her ex boyfriends family in the philippines for upbring. But her family wanbt her to hand him over to them in Japan . They pay big money so he is looked after and goes to the private school and gets everything he needs but my gf gets nothing from them, and she is the one that helped her sister in the first place. It just baffles the mind why her family could do this to her. They should be at her door trying to look after her (my gf) not treat her like a slave in the family ... I just dont get it.

hER

and do you believe that her family would treat her as a 'slave'? ... a story that you can watch everyday in Philippine ''telenovela'' written by dramatic writers. Sometimes in tagalog we called it 'gasgas na linya'. Everybody would give you the best advice that probably will make you hurt because you love her but it will hurt you more if your going to continue your relationship with her. Remember that mind is over your heart.

[jehzroblenida]

Hi Mark,

You need to be very careful and keen if she is now telling the truth or its another lie. I can't imagine that her family will treat her as a slave. At the first place, if she ever consider your feelings "the lying game" will not last for 12 months. She should have tell you earlier about the real situation.

I remember my fiancee was a victim of other Filipina's too who's just after his money. Until now, he's scared to admit that they just used him (my poor fiancee)
But he's very thankful to escaped from his previous relationships. I remember telling him he was so stup*** to give 500 pounds to her 1st ex Filipina gf for a "Birth Certificate" and monthly allowance. The 2nd ex Filipina gf claimed she has pneumonia so my fiancee sent her some money and after she received the money he "never hear from her". After few months, the 2nd ex gf message him again wanting him back (we are already together).... I found out about this when he left his phone and accidentally press the "ok button" to read the message and saw her messages. I am glad that my fiancee replied to her that he is very happy and its too late coz we are together.

I am just giving you an example Mark. I hope one day you will realise your worth and find a genuine lady. I can see how sincere you are with your gf but if she managed to hide things for 12 months it's another story. Please, try to close your eyes and pray. I know somehow you will find an answer to all this confusing stories. I wish you all the best! God bless

[rhaichard]

hi mark ,

i am filipina too , and i've never encounter a situation like yours .. but think first before you make another step that in the end it might hurt yourself .. i really cant imagine that filipino family treat their daughter as a slave .. i have a friend that grown to her stepmother but never treat her like that ..

a lot of decent and loyal girls that you can find .. she lied to you before so dont believe to another lies

[rhaichard]

my husband and i only have a relation as bf/gf for only 3months before we get married .. hes not from wealthy family but my family except him and treat him like their own son .. when my husband propose to me my mum only ask if i really decided to marry my husband and now look we are still together and happy as a married couple ..

dont ruined your future ... try to follow all their advice here .. it will help you