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  1. #1
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    babies

    just a thought here,you are in england or still in the phils, you are married, whats the most important thing in your life, to have a child or to be happy, yes you can have both, but what happens if you dont want both, would you feel pressured to have a child or feel safer having a child, would just being married and not planning to have any children be considered a good marrige,everyone is differant in the own views, just wondering what do others think


  2. #2
    Respected Member LastViking's Avatar
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    Well for me it is to be happy.

    A baby would, I know, make my wife ecstatic with happiness, but at 41 I am worried about her health. As much as I want a child with her, I don't want to risk her in any way. So for me health and happiness first and if a baby arrives with no complications, wow, what a bonus.

    LV


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    Quote Originally Posted by LastViking View Post
    Well for me it is to be happy.

    A baby would, I know, make my wife ecstatic with happiness, but at 41 I am worried about her health. As much as I want a child with her, I don't want to risk her in any way. So for me health and happiness first and if a baby arrives with no complications, wow, what a bonus.

    LV
    My ex wife had our son at the age of 39. No problems.


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    Quote Originally Posted by LastViking View Post
    Well for me it is to be happy.

    A baby would, I know, make my wife ecstatic with happiness, but at 41 I am worried about her health. As much as I want a child with her, I don't want to risk her in any way. So for me health and happiness first and if a baby arrives with no complications, wow, what a bonus.

    LV
    Your wife would be medically supervised throughout her pregnancy (particularly in the UK), so I don't think you need be too concerned these days. My sister had a beautiful healthy baby when she was 41...and my grandma had a healthy one when she was 49.


  5. #5
    Respected Member Rhose's Avatar
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    happiness... though we don't have baby yet, we could feel it if we're together but the most fulfilling part of marriage is not the end of being together, we want to experience to become a parents.


  6. #6
    Respected Member tiger31's Avatar
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    well we both have kids from our previous marriages so a baby is not a priority .we both want to be happy in our relationship which is very important but if baby comes along then that would be a bonus in our minds but the clock is ticking in our case may already have stopped she,s 40 .


  7. #7
    Moderator Steve.r's Avatar
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    Our baby came along and sealed our happiness. We have the best of both.
    If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up


  8. #8
    Respected Member Leen's Avatar
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    really want to have a child but thinking about getting preggy for 9 months and give birth scares me to death. im 32 but im not yet ready to be a mother and told my hubby about this....my family pressures me a lot coz they want to have a Fil-Brit relative but will wait and see....as of now we're both happy and contented with our marriage life
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart


  9. #9
    Respected Member Moy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leen View Post
    really want to have a child but thinking about getting preggy for 9 months and give birth scares me to death. im 32 but im not yet ready to be a mother and told my hubby about this....my family pressures me a lot coz they want to have a Fil-Brit relative but will wait and see....as of now we're both happy and contented with our marriage life
    in life we have to take any risk we wont ever know the pain if we dont risk on my opinion at your age 32 thats quit young but its not but still you are capable to make a baby go for it and taste the up and down of being a mother aside from being a "wife" in other word no pain no gain and to gain you must have pain
    A place for everything, everything in its place.


  10. #10
    Respected Member Leen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moy View Post
    in life we have to take any risk we wont ever know the pain if we dont risk on my opinion at your age 32 thats quite young but its not but still you are capable to make a baby go for it and taste the up and down of being a mother aside from being a "wife" in other word no pain no gain and to gain you must have pain
    i've been a risk taker all my life Moy but like i said it scares me to death to give birth....i know there are other method aside from the natural birth but for now it's not our priority and im glad hubby understands me....we are not using any contraceptives and we are not closing our doors...when times comes that we will be bless with kids we will both be happy.
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leen View Post
    i've been a risk taker all my life Moy but like i said the it scares me to death to give birth....i know there are other method aside from the natural birth but for now it's not our priority and im glad hubby understands me....we are not using any contraceptives and we are not closing our doors...when times comes that we will be bless with kids we will both be happy.
    I was having a look at the bathroom area in our local maternity hospital birthpool room for administering water births. It looked fantastic. The whole facility was marvelous. I was so surprised. Dare I say it, complete with ipod docking station and dimmerswitch lighting.


  12. #12
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leen View Post

    i've been a risk taker all my life Moy but like i said it scares me to death to give birth....
    ... yes ... I can relate to what you're saying ... in so far as my daughter-in-law - who, at 31, is a year younger than you are now - adores kids, but is content with being an aunt to her several nephews & nieces since, like you, she's extremely apprehensive about the birthing process. And my son has already made it plain he's happy enough to respect her reservations. ... shame really ... because they'd make ideal parents.

    So no more grandchildren for me!


  13. #13
    Respected Member Leen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    ... yes ... I can relate to what you're saying ... in so far as my daughter-in-law - who, at 31, is a year younger than you are now - adores kids, but is content with being an aunt to her several nephews & nieces since, like you, she's extremely apprehensive about the birthing process. And my son has already made it plain he's happy enough to respect her reservations. ... shame really ... because they'd make ideal parents.

    So no more grandchildren for me!
    I really love kids and have loads of nieces and nephews and would love to have one if only i can have kids without giving birth .
    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart


  14. #14
    Respected Member Moy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leen View Post
    i've been a risk taker all my life Moy but like i said it scares me to death to give birth....i know there are other method aside from the natural birth but for now it's not our priority and im glad hubby understands me....we are not using any contraceptives and we are not closing our doors...when times comes that we will be bless with kids we will both be happy.
    the scares is only on your mind go for it am sure you'll be fine..still bit different if were on our early 20's as bit young the more confidence we have to give birth compare to the middle age if you know what am saying
    A place for everything, everything in its place.


  15. #15
    Respected Member songz777's Avatar
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    Although not married yet; we have decided to wait about 1 yr and then try for 1 -2 children .. she wants children and i love children, I have done all I ever want to in life now ready to give time to kids.. I will 52 prob by time they come along, but I am blest with health & fitness and of cousre a young energetic wife to be
    "Nothing ventured, nothing gained"
    "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" Lord Tenneson.


  16. #16
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    Well!!!!
    That's all a decision between the couple really. Some need them to seal their life and other don't want them.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Curt Aines View Post
    Well!!!!
    That's all a decision between the couple really. Some need them to seal their life and other don't want them.
    I take it you gotta house full of dogs

    Actually Steve didn't say he needed a baby to seal his relationship

    Believe it or not, most do get married to have children in turn sealing there marriage..children do that...all God's plan

    If ya gonna wait for financially security, you could be waiting forever.

    Dont blame husband for his situation (kids from previous marriage etc).you knew it before you married him.

    Good luck to all


  18. #18
    Moderator Steve.r's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    I take it you gotta house full of dogs

    Actually Steve didn't say he needed a baby to seal his relationship
    Thanks Mark, I know you understood how I said it We both love eachother so much that we decided to make a new life, who will be brought up within a loving happy family. The way it should be done!
    If you want your dreams to come true ...... first you have to wake up


  19. #19
    Respected Member MissAna's Avatar
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    i agree with one of our fellow forum friend here that it totally depends on the decision of the couple or the situation

    in our case, my husband want to have a baby soon (who doesn't? ) BUT I AM NOT ready yet because first we are not financially stable for now and he still got two responsibilities from his previous marriage ( his ex-wife is a pain sometimes, well most of the time keeps on demanding things from him ) this situation just stress me out .good thing he understands. i just need to cope really


  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAna View Post
    i agree with one of out fellow forum friend here that it totally depends on the decision of the couple or the situation

    in our case, my husband want to have a baby soon (who doesn't? ) BUT I AM NOT ready yet because first we are not financially stable for now and he still got two responsibilities from his previous marriage ( his ex-wife is a pain sometimes, well most of the time keeps on demanding things from him ) this situation just stress me out .good thing he understands. i just need to cope really

    Is it possible that your hubby feels he is running out of time?


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    Quote Originally Posted by lastlid View Post
    Is it possible that your hubby feels he is running out of time?
    Men dont have that problem Its the chicks who has that small window of opportunity.


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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    Men dont have that problem Its the chicks who has that small window of opportunity.
    Do they not? If you say so.


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    Quote Originally Posted by lastlid View Post
    Do they not? If you say so.
    FACT...womens abilities to produce fall off a cliff past 35 yo FACT
    I do say so


  24. #24
    Respected Member MissAna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lastlid View Post
    Is it possible that your hubby feels he is running out of time?
    to be honest, he does feel that way sometimes i think its because of our age gap . but what i do is just to be supportive and be his "wife" , ..i'm sure God has a plan for us.


  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAna View Post
    to be honest, he does feel that way sometimes i think its because of our age gap . but what i do is just to be supportive and be his "wife" , ..i'm sure God has a plan for us.
    OK Yes. One of the reasons I asked is that I know someone like that. In that position, who thinks that way. Feels like he might be running out of time. As Steve says, who knows the future? So in some cases, the older hubby might want to push things along a bit. Understandable really.


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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAna View Post
    i agree with one of out fellow forum friend here that it totally depends on the decision of the couple or the situation

    in our case, my husband want to have a baby soon (who doesn't? ) BUT I AM NOT ready yet because first we are not financially stable for now and he still got two responsibilities from his previous marriage ( his ex-wife is a pain sometimes, well most of the time keeps on demanding things from him ) this situation just stress me out .good thing he understands. i just need to cope really
    If only more people used your good sense before having children.

    I take my hat off to you.


  27. #27
    Respected Member MissAna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grahamw48 View Post
    If only more people used your good sense before having children.

    I take my hat off to you.
    thanks... some people are just in a hurry to have children i think..


  28. #28
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissAna View Post
    i agree with one of our fellow forum friend here that it totally depends on the decision of the couple or the situation

    in our case, my husband want to have a baby soon (who doesn't? ) BUT I AM NOT ready yet because first we are not financially stable for now and he still got two responsibilities from his previous marriage ( his ex-wife is a pain sometimes, well most of the time keeps on demanding things from him ) this situation just stress me out .good thing he understands. i just need to cope really
    wow , well done for saying what you think, pity there is not more ladies thinking the way you think


  29. #29
    Trusted Member sars_notd_virus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    just a thought here,you are in england or still in the phils, you are married, whats the most important thing in your life, to have a child or to be happy, yes you can have both, but what happens if you dont want both, would you feel pressured to have a child or feel safer having a child, would just being married and not planning to have any children be considered a good marrige,everyone is differant in the own views, just wondering what do others think
    Surely its either or, or even neither or both, or maybe even all ! ! But if you love someone enough to marry them then you have to remember that there are two opinions to consider and you have to remember that the second opinion is more important than your own....if you really love them that is
    ''Don't be serious..Be Sincere''


  30. #30
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    IMO ... I believe this is such an emotive issue that it really OUGHT to be fully discussed before any couple decides to tie the knot.


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