Hello to all,
I am happy to find this website. Sometimes I have no one to talk to if I have some thoughts and problems about my fiance and I. I hope you guys can help me. My question is not about our visa but about our relationship.
My fiance and I met when he was in the Phils. We were together first for 1 yr before we got engaged. Then he applied for fiancee visa sponsoring me and my son of 7 years old from past relationship. Im 2 months pregnant now with our baby. The bad news is our fiance visa got refused. One of the reasons of lack of preparation of wedding plans in the Uk.... My fiance was very upset. He said that he had wasted (not spend) lots of money already on me and my son and felt like things were going against us
Dont get me wrong, he is a good person. Sometimes he just gets very matampuhin (I do not know english word for this -- grumpy?) if things do not happen the way he plans it. These are my observation about him:
~when he talks about our visa, it feels that he is blaming me...he says one reason could be my having a child from the past...it could be one reason our visa was not approved
~after the visa result he has always been making comment about everything how i write my email and text. he says its too short or i should not talk about this and that. I try my best to communicate but he finds fault with everything I do
~he ask me before what I have given to the relationship. I told him i love him and i remained loyal and faithful even when he was away. he said that was not enough. his exact word were...."you could never measure up. I have done a lot for you (listing all his help to me--financial and travel to see me) but you have not for me."
~i think this part is sometimes unfair because when he sends me a yahoo message when he gets angry..he does it as if I can just take it all. I know it is ok to say how you feel when you are mad but he just says it with no breaks. Sometimes I do not fight with the messages or emails he sends me and stay calm because I do not want to fight. We are in a long distance rel now and I feel tired when we argue plus i know it is not good for me and my baby allthough sometimes I want to voice out how I feel and be angry too
i know my fiance misses me so much, its just his way of expressing his sentiment is not helping at all. Sometimes even hurtful. Also sometimes it felt like he has the only right to talk and feel that way because he has done more in the relationship -- ako hindi pwedeng magsalita.......I feel like sometimes I just want to end our relationship and move on because my situation is complicated and that it is not easy for him. He also said he wish i had no child from my past and goes over everything when something goes wrong. I feel like he has regrets deciding to have relationship with me.
Not sure if i want to bring this up to him. Also thinking of just ending our relationship.
