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Thread: The tale of Alan

  1. #31
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    Hey Alan, our stories are very similar! - why oh why do we put ourselves through this? - oh yes, cos its fun and different from the norm!!


  2. #32
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    We know how it finishes.......Marriage.....honeymoon in Wales.......Alan meets sheep.....sheep gets preganant......wife leaves......Alan leaves......poor sheep has to bring up lamby on it's own
    Keith - Administrator


  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    We know how it finishes.......Marriage.....honeymoon in Wales.......Alan meets sheep.....sheep gets preganant......wife leaves......Alan leaves......poor sheep has to bring up lamby on it's own
    with foot and mouth, lamby days might be numbered


  4. #34
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Keith - how the hell did you know??????????????????????

    I'd better change the story to fiction now!!!!!


  5. #35
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Smile

    Thanks to you all for your comments so far.

    Next bit in a few hours time.


  6. #36
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    We can't wait that long


  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    with foot and mouth, lamby days might be numbered
    Thats baaaaaad


  8. #38
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Went into the 6th form - 6R - affectionately called 6 Rejects. Anyway, decided to do a bit of work for a change and managed to pass 9 of the 10 I had failed the first time. (Dad 'ungrounded' me - after 3 months!!! - Yet I still love him - there's nowt so funny as folk!)

    Took 5 A levels - with 4 As and a B. Amazing what you can do when you do a bit of reading - sadly though - no sciences (apart from Maths and Physics) so could not train in medicine!

    Dad grounded me again - I STILL loved him.

    Got my first job - thought I'd take a year out before Uni. Dad had to 'unground' me again so's I could go to work. Why the hell do I love him?


    I do not think that anyone had EVER shaken my hand so warmly!!!
    It was Hanna's cousin - Adie - who had driven Hanna to the airport and who was now driving us back to the hotel. He was SOOO kind and friendly - I looked at Hanna - she smiled at me. I still did not know what to say or do - bloody hell Al - you're a big boy now!!! I felt like a scared little kid!

    She HELD my hand in the back of Adie's car - I squeezed hers and she smiled. I had 'made a move' and she had smiled - I felt better.

    What's that? - It's a Jeepney she replied. What's a Jeepney? - It's a kind of bus. Hmmm - people don't hang from every part of a bus in Oxford!!! I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

    Next, four people - two adults and two children - on a MOTOR BIKE!!!! No crash helmets. We were, by now, in the inevitable queue of Manila traffic!!!
    Children walking in between the traffic selling water and fags and cloths - I think they were cloths.

    I then noticed that I was dripping with sweat - even though Adie had the aircon on. Hanna reached into her bag and towelled me down. She performed this action and then KISSED my cheek!!!!

    Little boy time again - what was happening to me?

    We arrived at the hotel - a porter grabbed our bags before I knew it. The hotel lobbies were stark and not very clean - and dark - The Bates Motel - what was the shower room like?

    Dropped the cases - had a beer - 24 pesos - 24 PESOS for a San Miguel?????? Multiply that by 10 for a bottle in England. I had 3!!!!!

    The room had a double bed!!

    Hanna went to her sister in law's house to 'get her things'

    She arrived back - where are you staying Hanna? - Here, with you if that's all right...........................



  9. #39
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    Here, with you if that's all right...........................
    Fine with me....are you sending a taxi to pick me up?!?!?
    Keith - Administrator


  10. #40
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Smile

    LOL


  11. #41
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Tom - wherever you are - next episode will start to 'heat up!'


  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    Tom - wherever you are - next episode will start to 'heat up!'
    For crying out loud......... Don't wake him up...!!!!!!!!!!!

    He is on a quest to overtake Keith on posts.......

    Two days without a word from him........ Bliss...


  13. #43
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    well where have you been number 1 chelsea fan ?
    oh beaten again by man utd ,

    i'm sure when your wife is in the uk your'll be gone to



    joking , we need chelsea supporters to at...


  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post


    well where have you been number 1 chelsea fan ?
    oh beaten again by man utd ,

    i'm sure when your wife is in the uk your'll be gone to



    joking , we need chelsea supporters to at...


    Wrong thread................

    Typical Manc.. never get things right...

    But while on the subject.........

    Nice goal keeping, I must admit... As for the rest......... We will see at the end of the season...

    Even the scousers will end up above UTD.....


  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    For crying out loud......... Don't wake him up...!!!!!!!!!!!

    He is on a quest to overtake Keith on posts.......

    Two days without a word from him........ Bliss...
    nastiness


  16. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigtombowski View Post
    nastiness

    Not a single nasty bone in my body.


  17. #47
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    Not a single nasty bone in my body.
    Of course not....you took them nasty ones out.....now you're doing an impression of The Blob
    Keith - Administrator


  18. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    For crying out loud......... Don't wake him up...!!!!!!!!!!!

    He is on a quest to overtake Keith on posts.......

    Two days without a word from him........ Bliss...
    your wrong don, not the wrong post, was asking where had you been, not a word from you for a few days BLISS


  19. #49
    Respected Member gracia143's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by barnsley-mark View Post
    Manila has had some rain now - thats good
    Some streets were flooded...rain has stopped mid-day today.

    By the way, where's the episode of Alan's tale? Been waiting for it.
    The bravest thing that men do is love women--Mort Sahl


  20. #50
    Respected Member gracia143's Avatar
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    Ooooppssssss sorry, next episode meant to say.
    The bravest thing that men do is love women--Mort Sahl


  21. #51
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    It will be here in a couple of hours. Been awfully busy today playing golf - you know how it is. Plus, my son beat me!!!!!!!

    Now taking solace with a glass of Scotch - and shortly making stir fry chicken for dinner.

    Then I shall pen (sheer poetry! )

    It's absolutely amazing to know that people are actually reading my blog! This site has been a wonderful find for me - all of a sudden I feel I have made loads of new friends.

    God bless you all.

    Al


  22. #52
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    ....all of a sudden I feel I have made loads of new friends.
    You can have another one as soon I reveive your cheque
    Keith - Administrator


  23. #53
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    LOL - encore une fois Keith.


  24. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    your wrong don, not the wrong post, was asking where had you been, not a word from you for a few days BLISS
    Lurking, reading posts...Cogitating...

    Re-decorating the flat, laying new carpets, painting doors and frames, drinking bucketfuls of espresso to keep awake so i can chat with "her indoors" at silly o'clock in the morning...
    Hoping that by the time she gets here in 2021 the place might look half decent.

    And every now and then I unleash my two pence worth of advice on the forum...


  25. #55
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Yes - 48 replies in 24 hours - and not a sign of Bertha from Cleethorpes!!!

    The ladies who 'expressed interest' were aged between 18 (18? - Even I thought that was 'out of the decency' stakes) and 61. They came from all over the world - Brazil - Mexico - California - West Africa - Vietnam - Thailand - China - Russia - Philippines.

    My suspicions were definitely aroused now. Why should all these beautiful (mostly) young ladies want to know me?

    I very soon found out!!!!!!!!!!!

    I actually replied to all 48 who had expressed interest - and within another couple of days - 22 of them had asked for money.

    My sister's daughter's uncle's mum's milkman needs to go into hospital for a life saving operation - and if he does not get 10,000 pesos - he will surely die.

    I need 500 dollars for my graduation and then I will fly over and give it back to you.

    Am I sounding familiar to some of you lads out there?

    I whittled them down and put these ladies into 3 categories.

    1. Scammers - I believe that is the word for them. (Incidentally - some even took clothes off on cam!!! Didn't know where to look!!! (well, I did!))
    2. Genuine girls/ladies who just wanted to be friends and chat.
    3. Hanna.

    Cupid has not fired his arrow at me with so much meaning for a long time.

    She was a cashier in a restaurant - I have a bachelor's degree and a Master's degree. One of my 'friends' said to me that I needed to find someone on the same intellectual level as I. I replied 'B******s!

    Am I right or am I wrong folks - tell me your opinions?

    Some people never say the words
    'I love you'
    It's not their style
    To be so bold.

    Some people never say the words
    'I love you'
    But, like a child
    I'm longing to be told.

    Paul Simon.

    In the hotel we had an ante room. A dining room with a settee. Then there was the bedroom.
    I was totally smitten - she was SO beautiful.
    I suggested she had the bed - I would stay in the ante room.
    Tomorrow we would talk.

    I told her - as I had before - that I loved her.
    She told me the same - I cannot remember ever being so happy - except when my children were born. But, this was different.
    We both walked into the bedroom.


  26. #56
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    Now from my point of view, skip the next few hours, and begin again with morning after....


  27. #57
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    My sister's daughter's uncle's mum's milkman needs to go into hospital for a life saving operation - and if he does not get 10,000 pesos - he will surely die.
    I'd have sent her a pint of milk
    Keith - Administrator


  28. #58
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    Alan you 're a true gentleman. (I say that but I've not read the next installment yet )

    Let me just say thank you, your tale is both infomative and inspirational to someone, (me) considering a uk/phil relationship


  29. #59
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    Bedroom?? I think it's totally disgusting..



    After all that sticky heat outside, sharing the shower would have been the most valiant and honorable progression for the evening



  30. #60
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by baboyako View Post
    sharing the shower
    With the cockroaches?
    Keith - Administrator


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