The tale of Alan

[Alan]

Thanks Al for your well written blog.

I haven't been on this forum for very long and didn't know you had eloquently documented how fast your English heart awoke again and snuggled up to your Filipina.

We just never know what is around the corner and pleasure is so sweet and rejuvinating after degrees of pain.

I saw this quote below somewhere and find it so apt:

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more".

Gabriel Garcias Marquez's book (now made into a film which I haven't seen and will probably not as it it will spoil the magic) "Love In The Time Of Cholera" may be right up your barangay! Let us say that love and romance is NOT solely the life-blood of the young.

Now one day I may write my story, but at the moment I'm still reeling from my weeks with "Panaginip". I never want to come down...

aposhark

Love In The Time Of Cholera - bought it - read it - charming, erudite and eye-opening! Thanks for that Apo.

Al.

[Alan]

Selling a business - running away from debt - leaving my lovely children and my mum and dad - coming here to be with my wife - my son flying over with me - expecting to fly my daughter over here in July - What a pot pourri of mixed emotions!!

I was, nevertheless, truly happy to be here - after all, a year is a long time in politics - but not very long when you hit middle age.
I think the young and old must survive in parallel universes - time certainly has a way of speeding up when you want it to slow down.
There is an in-depth psychological theory about this - but - I won't go into it!!

'I have some very bad news for you Alan.' This was all I wanted to hear!!! It was *** - the head of UK operations for my school in the UK - which is a franchise - and the fastest growing form of extra-school tuition in the world.

'*****. who bought your School, has been in prison for the last 7 weeks. He has committed offences of a sexual nature against one of the students - a 9 year old girl. The Centre has been closed down whilst police conduct further investigations.'

I cannot quite grasp what I am hearing! Immediately I think of my (ex) students and all the wonderful parents with whom I had an EXCELLENT relationship. Will I somehow be implicated??
Hanna and I were in tears.

Hang on, If he is in prison, then I shall have no further income. The Centre has been closed. Of course, the value of a business is dependent on its clientelle - and they have ALL left. The value of my business therefore has hit rock bottom.

I check my bank balance - heart attack time!! What am I going to do?

When my ex-partner left me for a 'newer model' she 'took me to the cleaners.'
I remember thinking then - 'What have I done to deserve this?' 'Have I played away? No! Have I been a bad father? No! Am I an alcoholic? No!'
She just decided she didn't love me any more and, instead of talking, just cleared off.

Depression set in - AGAIN!!!

Now that this has happened - what the bloody hell have I done to deserve this AGAIN???????????

I love Hanna - I love Christopher and Samantha - I love my mum and dad - I love my family on here.

My love for God is being severely tested at the moment!!!!

Al.

[Alan]

I made a decision - I had to!! Stuck on the other side of the world with no income. This was a real frightener!!!!

I thought of the good things in my life - my children - my parents - my friends from the forum whom I had met - Grace - Shelly - Maria - (Where are they now? ) and, of course, my wife.

It still did no good!! I felt the same old feelings of depression I had felt before - and I was SCARED!!!

Of course, Hanna did not understand - how could she? Depression is a personal illness - you can see a broken leg - but you cannot see a broken brain.

I was in absolute turmoil - tons of debt in the UK - and now penniless in Asia.

I don't deserve this - I have never done any wrong nor any harm to anyone. For God's sake - I can't even win £10 on the Lottery.

Hang on Al - You still have your mum and dad - you have two beautiful kids who love you to death - you have a stunningly beautiful wife who has stuck by you through this crisis - GET OFF YOUR **** AND DO SOMETHING!!!!

I did - and thanks to KeithAngel and his lovely girlfriend Angie I found a job - doing what I do best - teaching.

I had to let our beautiful house in Valencia go - could no longer afford it! I came here to Mactan Cebu - city life - which I HATE! But, Mactan is OK. I am living in an apartment that is slightly bigger than my parent's bathroom - but, that's the hand that life has dealt me at the moment. Hanna is living in A ROOM in Dumaguete - that brings me to tears 'cos I thought I had taken her away from that kind of life.

She still has a month of her Caregiver course to finish - then she has two months of OJT (On Job Training) to do - so we shall not be together again until January or the beginning of February.

I love my wife so much - it hurts!!

I am fighting hard to be the same 'loony' I have always been (God - How on Earth did I make it to HeadTeacher?) I think I will win!!!! I HAVE to win - there is no alternative.

My job at school is wonderful - the students are from Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, Turkey and Russia. They are 'Tabula Rasas' (Piaget!) and they are so receptive - I should have done this years ago!!

Maybe I shall go to another country when I 'Get my wife back again'

The jeepneys are always crowded and when I am on my 'chopper' I stick two fingers up at infinitely more morons than in the UK!

I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

Al.