The tale of Alan

[Alan]

Selling a business - running away from debt - leaving my lovely children and my mum and dad - coming here to be with my wife - my son flying over with me - expecting to fly my daughter over here in July - What a pot pourri of mixed emotions!!

I was, nevertheless, truly happy to be here - after all, a year is a long time in politics - but not very long when you hit middle age.
I think the young and old must survive in parallel universes - time certainly has a way of speeding up when you want it to slow down.
There is an in-depth psychological theory about this - but - I won't go into it!!

'I have some very bad news for you Alan.' This was all I wanted to hear!!! It was *** - the head of UK operations for my school in the UK - which is a franchise - and the fastest growing form of extra-school tuition in the world.

'*****. who bought your School, has been in prison for the last 7 weeks. He has committed offences of a sexual nature against one of the students - a 9 year old girl. The Centre has been closed down whilst police conduct further investigations.'

I cannot quite grasp what I am hearing! Immediately I think of my (ex) students and all the wonderful parents with whom I had an EXCELLENT relationship. Will I somehow be implicated??
Hanna and I were in tears.

Hang on, If he is in prison, then I shall have no further income. The Centre has been closed. Of course, the value of a business is dependent on its clientelle - and they have ALL left. The value of my business therefore has hit rock bottom.

I check my bank balance - heart attack time!! What am I going to do?

When my ex-partner left me for a 'newer model' she 'took me to the cleaners.'
I remember thinking then - 'What have I done to deserve this?' 'Have I played away? No! Have I been a bad father? No! Am I an alcoholic? No!'
She just decided she didn't love me any more and, instead of talking, just cleared off.

Depression set in - AGAIN!!!

Now that this has happened - what the bloody hell have I done to deserve this AGAIN???????????

I love Hanna - I love Christopher and Samantha - I love my mum and dad - I love my family on here.

My love for God is being severely tested at the moment!!!!

Al.

[Alan]

I made a decision - I had to!! Stuck on the other side of the world with no income. This was a real frightener!!!!

I thought of the good things in my life - my children - my parents - my friends from the forum whom I had met - Grace - Shelly - Maria - (Where are they now? ) and, of course, my wife.

It still did no good!! I felt the same old feelings of depression I had felt before - and I was SCARED!!!

Of course, Hanna did not understand - how could she? Depression is a personal illness - you can see a broken leg - but you cannot see a broken brain.

I was in absolute turmoil - tons of debt in the UK - and now penniless in Asia.

I don't deserve this - I have never done any wrong nor any harm to anyone. For God's sake - I can't even win £10 on the Lottery.

Hang on Al - You still have your mum and dad - you have two beautiful kids who love you to death - you have a stunningly beautiful wife who has stuck by you through this crisis - GET OFF YOUR **** AND DO SOMETHING!!!!

I did - and thanks to KeithAngel and his lovely girlfriend Angie I found a job - doing what I do best - teaching.

I had to let our beautiful house in Valencia go - could no longer afford it! I came here to Mactan Cebu - city life - which I HATE! But, Mactan is OK. I am living in an apartment that is slightly bigger than my parent's bathroom - but, that's the hand that life has dealt me at the moment. Hanna is living in A ROOM in Dumaguete - that brings me to tears 'cos I thought I had taken her away from that kind of life.

She still has a month of her Caregiver course to finish - then she has two months of OJT (On Job Training) to do - so we shall not be together again until January or the beginning of February.

I love my wife so much - it hurts!!

I am fighting hard to be the same 'loony' I have always been (God - How on Earth did I make it to HeadTeacher?) I think I will win!!!! I HAVE to win - there is no alternative.

My job at school is wonderful - the students are from Japan, Korea, Vietnam, Taiwan, Turkey and Russia. They are 'Tabula Rasas' (Piaget!) and they are so receptive - I should have done this years ago!!

Maybe I shall go to another country when I 'Get my wife back again'

The jeepneys are always crowded and when I am on my 'chopper' I stick two fingers up at infinitely more morons than in the UK!

I WILL SURVIVE!!!!!

Al.