I think I need advice about what to do...

[jake]

I think many europeans and americans and pinoys mess these girls around and in the end they dont know who to trust.

Good point Andy. Have seen it happen a lot over the years.

[melovesengland]

My gut instinct is that she is truly sorry and that she was stupid. In all my past relationships that went wrong, I knew when they were lying. I do get what you all say and thank you for what you have said. I did wonder if I was second place or a back up. But she hasn't seen him for a long time now. She tells me that she hated him because she felt she couldn't move forward with me because of how he treated to her. She was really scared to commit.

I have been messed up by people before and I wanted to get them back. I just chose not to. She didn't and got found out. I was clever enough to find this I think I will be clever enough to see that.

If there is a strike two......She knows that its over. I made that quite clear.

Fair enough.

Good luck to you then.

[cheekee]

Good point Andy. Have seen it happen a lot over the years.

Her ex did mess her about. He travelled a lot in his job and sometimes she wouldn't see him for months. he never had a mobile phone (or gave her a phone number he did have) and she had to rely on him contacting her.

[marksroomspain]

Hi cheekee,

There has been a lot of sound advice from the forum members here as some of them say it is entirely up to you how you go forward on this your decision and your decision alone.

One question you must ask yourself is "Do I trust her entirely" if there is one bit of doubt in your mind then if it was me I would walk away like the guys have said there are so many wonderful ladies in the Phils also a lot of scammers too.

I have read your threads here and it seems to me that because of whats happened to her it gives her a right to do it to other people, listen mate you must have 100% trust for this to work out and its dam hard since you have not met her yet.

I met my pinoy lady 6 months after chatting and even myself had doubts how it would work out mainly because of me finding it hard to trust, not once did she give me course to doubt her, but if she done something like that to me I would think long and hard about how you go forward.

If you feel that its worth it then get yourself over there and you will find things out and hopefully be able to move forward with this, I hope everything turns out well for you buddy I really do take care...

[imagine]

its a big commitment your about to take, a lot of stress on the way, it would be unfair to think of her as a possible scammer, im sure she isn't, but dont let yourself be lead on,
my x gf wasn't a scammer, just that she turned to lies to cover up her seeing someone else,
which made me just another option,
be sure you are not just another option,
you have had some good advice here from others,
i wish you luck, please tread carefully

[cheekee]

Hi cheekee,

There has been a lot of sound advice from the forum members here as some of them say it is entirely up to you how you go forward on this your decision and your decision alone.

One question you must ask yourself is "Do I trust her entirely" if there is one bit of doubt in your mind then if it was me I would walk away like the guys have said there are so many wonderful ladies in the Phils also a lot of scammers too.

I have read your threads here and it seems to me that because of whats happened to her it gives her a right to do it to other people, listen mate you must have 100% trust for this to work out and its dam hard since you have not met her yet.

I met my pinoy lady 6 months after chatting and even myself had doubts how it would work out mainly because of me finding it hard to trust, not once did she give me course to doubt her, but if she done something like that to me I would think long and hard about how you go forward.

If you feel that its worth it then get yourself over there and you will find things out and hopefully be able to move forward with this, I hope everything turns out well for you buddy I really do take care...

I agree with what you say. The reason I have decided to try that I have literally grilled her to the point that if she is playing me with more lies, she would have tripped up by now. This happened over two weeks ago. Since then she has given me access to all her accounts, photos of her phone screen (messages/contacts). I have got to the point where i am confident she has just made a stupid mistake. Ok its a gamble. but I have lied in the past so to not hurt someome. Ok it was about her ex, but they are not together.

[cheekee]

If I am another option I will find out soon enough. I'm not visiting her till July next year. I will be very careful.

[raynaputi]

We can only hope that whatever you do would be the best. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is always tricky especially when there are feelings involved. I hope whatever happens, you don't end up getting ripped off, whether she asks you money or not. Just be careful.

[cheekee]

Thank you.

I have thought long and hard about this believe me.

But I will take care.

[marksroomspain]

Good luck I hope everything turns out well for you both...

[grahamw48]

Good luck from me too.
It sounds like you know what you're doing anyway.

[cheekee]

We can only hope that whatever you do would be the best. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt is always tricky especially when there are feelings involved. I hope whatever happens, you don't end up getting ripped off, whether she asks you money or not. Just be careful.

It is tricky giving someone the benefit of the doubt. yes. I just have to be careful I guess.

[sars_notd_virus]

Follow your gut instinct cheekee,...if you have the slightest doubt along the way dont pursue it.

[QUOTE=cheekee;403675]My gut instinct is that she is truly sorry and that she was stupid. In all my past relationships that went wrong, I knew when they were lying. I do get what you all say and thank you for what you have said.

I have been messed up by people before and I wanted to get them back.

If I am another option I will find out soon enough. I'm not visiting her till July next year. I will be very careful.

we all have our past good and bad...it is better to meet her first in person to know that what you got for each other is real and what they call LOVE.

[grahamw48]

Too true.

First shock is likely to be how TINY she probably is.

[cheekee]

Too true.

First shock is likely to be how TINY she probably is.

Am I being thick...I don't get it

[cheekee]

[QUOTE=sars_notd_virus;403703]

My gut instinct is that she is truly sorry and that she was stupid. In all my past relationships that went wrong, I knew when they were lying. I do get what you all say and thank you for what you have said.

I have been messed up by people before and I wanted to get them back.



we all have our past good and bad...it is better to meet her first in person to know that what you got for each other is real and what they call LOVE.

I agree. I think there is something special there and I do want to try at the moment.

[stevie c]

Cheekee I sympathise with you I really do but my honest opinion after reading your story is that strike 2 will most defiantly come & I really do believe that this girl is a scammer get out with your dignity intact & find yourself true genuine Filipino who wants you for genuine reasons sorry if this may sound harsh but it is my gut feeling

[Iani]

maybe so, but i know of a number of members on this forum who have been scammed by Filipina's.

I watched 'scam city' the other week, it was on about Thailand and how one girl I think she had 3 western boy friends on the go, each sending her money..

also a reason for the google results might be more western men have had a relationship with thai's than filipina's.

Oh totally, totally Perhaps your last point also rings true, that there are a good few holiday resorts in Thailand within easyish reach of Australia - many young men going over primarily to drink and party away. They then hit the bars and find they are crawling with young beautiful women (Thais are blessed in the world with incredible good looks), and don't realise it's all a show when these women are practically beating down their hotel room doors.

So easy to confuse love with something else over there.

I will though stand by my point of Pinoy having different attitudes to Thais. Not that pinoys don't rip people off, far from it given half a chance some/many of them it's their raison d'etre.
I at one time used to chat online, and one dating site was packed with filipinas. Many I soon figured out were like barracudas.
There really though is a different outlook to life. Maybe it's the religion, or culture?
It's only the same though as comparing Germans to Greeks.

As for 3 "boyfriends" on the go? Oh that's commonplace

[Iani]

Am I being thick...I don't get it

It's like a sort of running joke, people can look bigger in photos, and when we eventually meet them, one surprise is "wow you're little".
It's easy to form a picture of what your girlfriend will look like stood by you, and if you are in London, then it's natural to compare her to UK girls.

But anyway, good luck fella, you are the one who will know her best, not us.

We just want you to make the right decision, whatever that will be. IF though (and I hope it won't be) she is leading you on, do be assured we aren't going to be laughing at you. Support is here whatever way it may go

[cheekee]

It's like a sort of running joke, people can look bigger in photos, and when we eventually meet them, one surprise is "wow you're little".
It's easy to form a picture of what your girlfriend will look like stood by you, and if you are in London, then it's natural to compare her to UK girls.

But anyway, good luck fella, you are the one who will know her best, not us.

We just want you to make the right decision, whatever that will be. IF though (and I hope it won't be) she is leading you on, do be assured we aren't going to be laughing at you. Support is here whatever way it may go

Ahh I see.

Thank you. I feel confident that if strike 2 comes it will be before I visit. I know you all want the best for me and I am truly grateful for that.

[Ako Si Jamie]

If you haven't sent her money and have been speaking to her for several months I can't see her being a scammer somehow. She would have given up by now and gone on to the next guy.

But like I said before I still think she's holding on to her ex and that's not a good situation to be in. Somewhere down the line her ex could come knocking again which could leave you in limbo.

It sounds like you've decided to pursue her which is your decision. But I'd back off a bit and let her know crystal clear you won't take any .... off her. Protect your own feelings first and foremost.

Good luck!

[Tinker]

Follow your heart, listen to you rmind, and have a thoughts with some of the advice. I met a lot of guys on dating site, i chatted with them nicely, they proposed on net, but i never take it seriously. Until one of them came to meet me, without any conditions and hesitation, he flew a thousand miles not for a business but to meet me in person..

[cheekee]

If you haven't sent her money and have been speaking to her for several months I can't see her being a scammer somehow. She would have given up by now and gone on to the next guy.

But like I said before I still think she's holding on to her ex and that's not a good situation to be in. Somewhere down the line her ex could come knocking again which could leave you in limbo.

It sounds like you've decided to pursue her which is your decision. But I'd back off a bit and let her know crystal clear you won't take any .... off her. Protect your own feelings first and foremost.

Good luck!

Thank you.

She hasnt seen her ex for over a year. He isnt coming back to the phillipines. I do think she was stupid to do what she did but she has given me free reign to check all her accounts and knows she has to earn my trust. He was unfaithful to her and she found out by reading his letters and he also admitted it. I do have an inclination to believe her reasons because of that and the fact she has let me read all her emails (which included all of his old ones from 2 years ago) and her yahoo messenger conversations.

I just have a feeling things might be ok. She doesnt ask for money. She works hard and helps her family and ill father.

[grahamw48]

Sounds promising.

[stevewool]

just to add my thoughts, we all talk to differant people, the distance between you is the hardest thing to get over plus the time differance too, you must have total trust in each other before you commit to anything, myself and Emma was talking to others before we made that commitment, but look at us now, so it can work, just tread careful, and trust your heart and mind,

[Stuart]

Well I read this thread at length, than ran it past my Phillipino Partner.... We both think the same if she loves you she would have made it clear with her ex that things were over. Be careful, personally I'd move on...

[cheekee]

Well I read this thread at length, than ran it past my Phillipino Partner.... We both think the same if she loves you she would have made it clear with her ex that things were over. Be careful, personally I'd move on...

Good point.

She did email him to say not to contact her anymore and that she was sorry to play games with him and that she was very happy with me. I saw the email. She also messaged him on yahoo messenger and I saw that also. I have her log in passwords so I know she sent them.

I will be careful though.

[cheekee]

just to add my thoughts, we all talk to differant people, the distance between you is the hardest thing to get over plus the time differance too, you must have total trust in each other before you commit to anything, myself and Emma was talking to others before we made that commitment, but look at us now, so it can work, just tread careful, and trust your heart and mind,

Yes I understand that. It helps that she has wifi and I can get hold of her at any time. the last week I have been connected to her on google chat video so I know exactly what she is doing. I am going to be very careful.

[Michael Parnham]

Hi Cheekee, after reading all the advice you've been given by all the forum members, I tend to understand what everyone is trying to say to you so please take heed of what is said. My personal advice would be, give the girl good reason to trust you as other members have mentioned she may have been used in the past, and I think we all need to hear both sides. Hopefully by the time you visit her you will have a better understanding of each other and I sincerely hope it works out for both of you, Good luck!!

[stevewool]

I have her log in passwords so I know she sent them.

I will be careful though.[/QUOTE]

why would you want to keep these, just trust your heart, i have never used Ems passwords to any sites, even her bank, yes she gives them me but i can honestly say i have never used them, plus with my mind i would forget them anyway,remember it takes two to tango, but it only takes one to say no more, good luck but again tread carefull