hi everyone,heres a few jokes,
,if easily offended pls dont read all of them
Where can you find a dog with no legs?
where you left it.
An irishman found a crate of milk in a field,ran home ,and told his friend Paddy he had found a cows nest .
Later the same night they hijacked a submarine and aked for £1000000 and 2 parachutes,
when that that failed they made a suicide pact ,agreed to gas each other and jumped in the North Sea.
New cigarretes for gays,2 puffs and there gone.
A man went to the maternity ward to see his new born baby.The midwife said im afraid something is wrong with your baby sir,`Oh my God `,he cried.
They went along a corridor,the first room had a baby with 2 arms but no legs.
`Is that my baby?`,he asked,`No,im afraid its worse`,the midwife answered.
The next room,a baby was lying with no arms and no legs.
`Is that my baby?,again,the .midwife replied `Im sorry,im afraid its worse .
The next room,there was just a head on a pillow,
`Is that my baby ?`he asked horrified,,and again ,the midwife replied,
`No,im so sorry,im afraid its worse than that.
In the last room there was just an eye on a pillow.
`Is that my baby,pleaseee?`,he asked.
The midwife smiled at him and said `yes,thats your baby,but im afraid its blind.`
`James,take off my dress`
`M`lady!!!
`JAMES!!`
`Yes M`lady`
`James,take off my bra`
`M`lady!!!!`
`JAMES!!`
`Yes M`lady`
`James,take off my knickers`
`M`LADYYYYYYY!!!
`JAMES!!!!!`
`YES M`lady`
`and James,never wear my clothes again
`Yes,sorry m`lady`
Celtic just signed a new player ,DAN DRUFF, from Ayr.
News in Prince Charles bought a new horse ,he`s called it w...ker,cos it keeps tossing him off
Its rumoured Percy Thrower,the celebrity gardner may have died of aids,they found Pete up his a..se.
Have you seen Stevie Wonders wife??? ,he hasent either
.When he was being interviewed he was asked is it hard being blind,he replied `things could be worse,i could be black`
REMEMBER,ITS NOTHING PERSONAL,LIFES LIKE THAT!!!!
