Like many members of the forum here, going to the Philippines was something I’d never really considered before I met Marvie. In fact the entire process of booking and going to the Philippines was totally unplanned. We’d been together on the cruise ships for about 10 months, and I’d left and gone to another ship towards the end of that time. When I left Marvie in Copenhagen to join the next ship, I wasn’t sure whether I’d see her again and whilst I knew I loved her, I couldn’t be certain whether the a long distance relationship would last. Often relationships on the cruise ships, where people are forced to live and work together in unusual circumstances, seem to fizzle out when you re-enter the real world after disembarking.
Several weeks after I left, the ship visited the UK, and my Mum went down to Harwich to collect some cases of my belongings that I’d left onboard and at the same time met Marvie. Admittedly my Mum was nervous and concerned about meeting her, but when I spoke to them both later they seemed to have had a good time and enjoyed one another’s company.
I a little while later when I was in Panama I received an e-mail from Marvie saying that she was safely home in Manila after her long trip and had severed all connections with her now ex-husband. One of the concerns I’d had was whether she’d rekindle the relationship with him after returning home, bearing in mind she had a child with him.
As soon as I received the e-mail I booked a flight to the Philippines online, in fact I booked an entire package on Expedia including accommodation at the Shangri La Makati. I had absolutely no idea what to expect, and was taking a serious gamble as I couldn’t know what was going to happen when I arrived in the Philippines. As much as I loved and trusted Marvie, I’d never met her family, or even met her outside of our cruise ship world, and of course the doubts ran through my mind about her relationship with her Husband, and whether I was being taken for a ride. The horror stories that are presented in the media and online are of course a concern, knowing that some Asian women have an ulterior motive to be with a wealthy westerner. I also knew that if I was accepting Marvie, I’d be accepting her child, which was a big decision for me as a career motivated 22 year old.
Before I had chance to tell her about my planned trip, we had several arguments, mostly over trust issues and the future of our relationship. It almost meant that I cancelled the trip, and resulted in me worrying about what to do next. I got in touch with some other Filipina girls that I’d worked with from the ship, and arranged for them to meet me at the airport so that at least I had a guide when I arrived. Looking back, this was a very stupid decision, and even now I’m reminded by Marvie about that.
About a week later I disembarked the ship in Florida and flew back to the UK, I arrived in the evening and broke the news to my parents that I’d be heading to the UK the next day. My dad gave me all the typical melodramatic Daily Mail fuelled advice that I’d probably be arrested, shot and murdered on arrival, and that Asian women are out to take me for every penny. I wasn’t worried, since I seemed pretty good at spending every penny I earned, and had very little in the bank at the time.
Arriving in Manila I was greeted by the mayhem in immigration and then waited for what seemed like an eternity for my baggage. I must have looked naïve and easy when I walked through the doors after Customs I was accosted by what felt like millions of people offering to take me here there and everywhere. I carried on walking and eventually found a man holding my name on sign, I informed him I had friends waiting for me and then headed off to find them too. Afterwards we jumped into the waiting Mercedes S Class and headed off to the hotel. I wasn’t ready to rough it this time.
As soon as we exited the airport I looked out of the window and wondered what I’d let myself in for; chaos, traffic, noise, pollution and concrete was all that I could see. I began to get nervous when I could hear the driver radioing in to security at various points on the journey, and then finally arriving at the hotel to have the guards and sniffer dogs checking the vehicle. I’d heard so much about the Philippines from the proud Filipino’s I’d worked with over the years, telling me what a wonderful and beautiful paradise it was, yet here I was greeted with what seemed to be exactly the opposite. Walking into the haven that is the Shangri La, I had no intention of leaving the hotel again, the chaos outside horrified me.
In the evening I was convinced by my friends to head out to a nightclub, and it was pretty dull, so later headed back to the hotel. I called Marvie in the morning to tell her I was in the Philippines and ask her to meet me to reconcile. When she arrived at the hotel she called me and I know it’s a cliché, but when I saw her in the lobby, I knew that I was going to marry her. I knew that instant, she was the women I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Like a photo in my mind, I never will forget that moment.
We talked a lot, and after being apart for several months, we had a lot to say. She wasn’t happy that I’d allowed the other girls to meet me at the airport, and said I should have given her the flight details regardless of our issues.
I decided that I’d had enough of the Philippines, and asked Marvie if she was free for the next few days. She replied that she was, and I booked us flights for that afternoon to Hong Kong and headed off there for a few days together. Her parents weren’t thrilled with this idea to say the least, and wanted to know that we’d have separate rooms (maybe they didn’t realise that Marvie had been staying in my room on the ship, and she hadn’t been sleeping on the day bed).
Marvie’s first experience of business class was en-route to Hong Kong and looking back it was a bad idea to let her get accustomed to that, as she now berates me whenever we travel with Cebu Pacific or Ryanair. I try to be more sensible with our money now, since we have commitments.
We met up with some of my friends in Hong Kong and had a chance to talk about our future together. I felt that I didn’t want Marvie to work away anymore, particularly since she was on 9 month contracts at sea against my 3 month trips, which meant we’d have very little time together, especially if we were on different ships. I suggested that we get an apartment together in Manila and we’d hopefully get much more quality time together.
Returning to the Philippines, we had a few days together, which involved visiting Enchanted Kingdom, travelling around families houses and getting to know the area. I still wasn’t impressed, mostly due to the heat and pollution, but also due to feeling car sick every time we took 4 hours to travel 5 miles across the city.
When it came to the time for me to leave, it was heart wrenching. We knew we were soul mates, and that we belonged together. Marvie gave me a small ring as a parting gift, but because I don’t like wearing jewellery I put it in my pocket. When I was onboard the flight back to Amsterdam, I suddenly realised I’d left the ring at security, my heart sank and I wondered whether it was a bad omen….
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Originally Posted by grahamw48
