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Thread: A couple of jokes

  1. #1
    Respected Member les_taxi's Avatar
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    A couple of jokes

    Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

    He looked up and said weakly:
    'I have something I must confess.'

    'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

    'No,' he insisted,
    'I want to die in peace.
    I slept with your sister, your best friend,
    her best friend, and your mother!'

    'I know,' she replied.
    'Now just rest and let the poison work.



    A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
    but always talked about having a son.

    They decided to try one last time
    for the son they always wanted.

    The wife got pregnant
    and delivered a healthy baby boy.

    The joyful father rushed to the nursery
    to see his new son.

    He was horrified at the ugliest child
    he had ever seen.

    He told his wife:

    'There's no way I can
    be the father of this baby.
    Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
    Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

    The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
    'No, not this time!'



    A married man was having an affair
    with his secretary.

    One day they went to her place
    and made love all afternoon.

    Exhausted, they fell asleep
    and woke up at 8 PM.

    The man hurriedly dressed
    and told his lover to take his shoes
    outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

    He put on his shoes and drove home.

    'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

    'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

    'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
    We had sex all afternoon.'

    She looked down at his shoes and said:

    'You lying .......!
    You've been playing golf!'


  2. #2
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    I've heard that last one.


  3. #3
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    Cheers Les


  4. #4
    Trusted Member mickcant's Avatar
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    Thanks
    Mick


  5. #5
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    Enjoyed those Les, thanks


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