cheating

[careedee]

its been awhile since ive last posted here i guess i just need someone to share what found out about my husband hes cheating on me but its not what you think it is, like meeting a real person no its not like that.

i just happen to see that he is sign up to a dating site but he never gave out real information about himself everything is made up from his name to everything about him. but of course i didnt like it no wife would be please to know this! but saying this he didnt really change to me hes still sweet, loving and caring as always. i dont know if he do this out of boredom since everytime he's off im working he probably just wanna hang around talk to someone. but its really hurting me!

sorry just need to let ths out of my system im stress beacuse we'd never know whats going to happen in the futute if he continue to do this he mght end up meeting them in person and revealing his true self i dont know what should i do?

[Tawi2]

he probably just wanna hang around talk to someone

Most guys hang around with their mates?Maybe he is one of those guys who likes the thrill of the chase,chatting up women using the anonymity of a pseudonym adds a frisson of sexual excitement to his life?Ask him,your his wife,surely you chat,confront him and ask why is he registered to a dating website when he is married?

[sars_notd_virus]

my husband hes cheating on me but its not what you think it is, like meeting a real person no its not like that.

i just happen to see that he is sign up to a dating site

sorry , meeting a real person or via the web chat/dating etc is still classed as cheating to me.
being unavailable for him all the time because you are working is not a great excuse to register for a dating site.

[grahamw48]

Not a good sign.

Deception on many levels.

You need to have some strict words with him and inform him that this is not normal or acceptable behaviour for a married man who has supposedly taken some vows.

Hopefully that will be enough to snap him out of his fantasy world.

Ask him how he would react if he discovered that YOU had been doing such a thing.

[Michael Parnham]

Why bring you from halway round the world and then go on a dating site

[Moy]

"Because we are frail, ignorant, fearful, because there is a dark side of our existence that we do not know or do not want to acknowledge and to heal. Because we are populated by conflicting desires, because it is difficult to live at the height of our ideal self or idealized image the partner has about us."

i must admit i am sometimes guilty but in good way i suppose think i let the hubby read this thread

[Moy]

sorry , meeting a real person or via the web chat/dating etc is still classed as cheating to me.
being unavailable for him all the time because you are working is not a great excuse to register for a dating site.

[stevewool]

tell him before its too late, i agree, if you are looking its the same as cheatting, you must site him down and talk about why hes doing this and how you feel about it, what would happen if you was doing this how would he feel, good luck

[Moy]

and one more i learn from my past life and now i am married is that if He(husband) doesn’t feel his needs are being met. Not just his sexual needs. “Like women, men want to feel understood emotionally

and most of all not all but Plenty of men see sex the way children see candy,” that what i noticed and observed

[grahamw48]

You're funny Moy. ...Not that I'm disagreeing.

[Moy]

You're funny Moy. ...Not that I'm disagreeing.

oh i understand you my friend i was just being truthful and honest i supposed

[Tawi2]

men want to feel understood emotionally

[Moy]

yes men..same with women..am sure you are a man tawi ^_^and u know exacttly of what am sayin

[Tawi2]

I just didnt realise men had emotions that needed to be understood Moy,some guys arent that deep,you've opened up a while new world for me with that enlightening revelation

[Moy]

I just didnt realise men had emotions that needed to be understood Moy,some guys arent that deep,you've opened up a while new world for me with that enlightening revelation

men are human being my friend same with any human being that move and live who are in this world

[grahamw48]

Well I can tell you Moy...I have EMOTIONS.

You see, today something terrible happened. I ran out of potatoes and had to...

eat ...a dear little friend.





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[careedee]

Thank you all for your response. Well when i found out about it i made up a fake account and added him just curious how he'll respond to my messages and oh he seems so excited! Its breaking my heart! I was at work that time when i chatted using the fake account. He stick to his lies about his true identity all through out ou chat. Anyway he collected me to work that afternoon like what he normally do but i cant hide my feelings so i confronted him ofcourse he denied it, till we arrived home, i took his tablet and show him the history of his browser (well thats how i accidentally found out what he does) anyway so he cant deny it anymore since i showed him the proof well what i told him i followed their chat coz i know his password (i didnt say i was the person hes chatting to) he was so sorry and said hes just bored blah blah.. So he said hes not gonna do it again

[grahamw48]

Result !

Good luck in the future anyway, and sorry we drifted a bit off your topic.

Now keep an eye on him to make sure he stays a good boy.

[careedee]

He told me to delete the email he used but ofcourse i cant coz i cant really access it, i told him i trust him not to do it again. Weeks later i dont receive any email from him to my fake account till last week! Hes messaging it again i reply just to see how far emailing will go again and seems like it will go on again till i probably reveal its actually me hes chatting to!

Honestly dont know if its my fault now he seems to be enjoying chatting to me in my fake account now! He's clever coz he sends me email before he go to work in the morning which im either sleeping or gone to work i want to confront him again but i guess im scared to know his reasons dont know what to do

[careedee]

Result !

Good luck in the future anyway, and sorry we drifted a bit off your topic.

Now keep an eye on him to make sure he stays a good boy.

No worties graham! Thank you

[grahamw48]

He told me to delete the email he used but ofcourse i cant coz i cant really access it, i told him i trust him not to do it again. Weeks later i dont receive any email from him to my fake account till last week! Hes messaging it again i reply just to see how far emailing will go again and seems like it will go on again till i probably reveal its actually me hes chatting to!

Honestly dont know if its my fault now he seems to be enjoying chatting to me in my fake account now! He's clever coz he sends me email before he go to work in the morning which im either sleeping or gone to work i want to confront him again but i guess im scared to know his reasons dont know what to do

You're obviously a lot smarter than him.

Seriously though, of course you need to speak to him again about this.

If he's doing it again, that is just totally unacceptable.

Once again...good luck.

[MissAna]

Weeks later i dont receive any email from him to my fake account till last week! Hes messaging it again i reply just to see how far emailing will go again and seems like it will go on again till i probably reveal its actually me hes chatting to!

oh my god that is totally unacceptable! you already gave him a chance and he is still cheating?! if he is my husband i would probably kick his

[Iani]

He's lying to you.

He cheated on you by signing up to that site in the first place, he promised you that he would keep off - and now he has started using it again.

What the hell does he think he is playing at, and why would he do this.

Now I don't expect you to answer this on here (For goodness sake, please DON'T), but you need to have a hard think about your relationship. Ask yourself these questions -

How is your sex life?
Do you make sure he knows how loved he is?
Do you show him affection "for no reason", do you ever grab his bum as he walks past, give him a hug when he doesn't expect it?
Do you have time to listen to his worries, and for him to listen to yours?

This might be hard to listen to - but do you look after yourself, wash, shave anywhere that needs shaving? I know that might sound insulting, but sometimes in a relationship, people let themselves go and don't bother with personal upkeep, it is a major source of disrespect for the other partner.

Or, do you spend so much time working, being out, that there is no love or time left for him?

If you can answer favourably to all of the above, then......actually I just deleted what I was going to put, I find what he's doing disgraceful.

If perhaps things could be better in the relationship, then it's got to be worth working on.

The thing is, there are many reasons people cheat in relationships, and unless we have been there, we can't comment or judge - in fact we should never judge.
The only people who should be making the decisions in this, are you and your husband

I really hope you can sort this one way or the other.

Lucky for you though you never let on he was talking to your account, it means you know what's going on, instead of being there in the dark

[careedee]

He's lying to you.

He cheated on you by signing up to that site in the first place, he promised you that he would keep off - and now he has started using it again.

What the hell does he think he is playing at, and why would he do this.

Now I don't expect you to answer this on here (For goodness sake, please DON'T), but you need to have a hard think about your relationship. Ask yourself these questions -

How is your sex life?
Do you make sure he knows how loved he is?
Do you show him affection "for no reason", do you ever grab his bum as he walks past, give him a hug when he doesn't expect it?
Do you have time to listen to his worries, and for him to listen to yours?

This might be hard to listen to - but do you look after yourself, wash, shave anywhere that needs shaving? I know that might sound insulting, but sometimes in a relationship, people let themselves go and don't bother with personal upkeep, it is a major source of disrespect for the other partner.

Or, do you spend so much time working, being out, that there is no love or time left for him?

If you can answer favourably to all of the above, then......actually I just deleted what I was going to put, I find what he's doing disgraceful.

If perhaps things could be better in the relationship, then it's got to be worth working on.

The thing is, there are many reasons people cheat in relationships, and unless we have been there, we can't comment or judge - in fact we should never judge.
The only people who should be making the decisions in this, are you and your husband

I really hope you can sort this one way or the other.

Lucky for you though you never let on he was talking to your account, it means you know what's going on, instead of being there in the dark

Thanks Iani,

I definitely see what your trying to say and I appreciate it so much..

I know for a fact i look after myself (not gonna go into detail, u know what they are) I think most filipina does so i could cross that out now.

I dont know if you think our sex life is good 3 to 4 times a week. Id like to think we both enjoy it and i see it in him too. Like what i said everything seems so normal when were together cuddling kissing laughing just when am away to work thats when cheating comes.

The last time i confronted him he said he s bored and just missed what we do before, chatting online.

He's honestly confusing me, one reason why i havent confronted him again is i wanna find out through the fake account hes real reason why hes chatting despite of his marriage. (He knows that the fake account knows hes married)

Weve been married coming up to 4 years next year no child yet but trying now. Could he be just having fun while we havent have a child yet? Or perhaps just needs to chill being with me for 4 years now? I dont know....

[London_Manila]

I am sure that he never joined a dating site just for a bit of chit chat

Unfortunately most men are driven by whats between their legs but don't expect many to admit it

Just because someone is married or has a steady girlfriend does not mean that they will be able to control themselves

Men like to try other sex partners just because its something new and different not implying its acceptable behavior

Lots of married guys join dating sites for obvious reasons the only difference is that you found out

Your husband is quite normal and there is no reason why your marriage cant go on for many years

[Michael Parnham]

He's a dog

[Tawi2]

Using your new online femme fatale personna tell him you sometimes feel quite excited and fruity when chatting to him,up the tempo and tell him he makes you feel all woman tell him your so bored you are dressed up in skimpy lingere but its just soooo hot you feel the need to disrobe Ask would he like to chat cam-to-cam while you do it,when he turns on his cam................................SURPRISE,huli ka!!! MAKABALOS RAKO NIMO

[karenkeith]

you don't deserve those kind of treatment,

[tiger31]

do not have chidren by this excuse of a husband he,s proved he,s a liar and untrust worthy why would you even be thinking of children with him .you deserve better than this show yourself some respect .

[grahamw48]

Agreed.
A Leopard doesn't change his spots.