Guys...I suggest you bear this in mind

[stevewool]

One of the biggest problems I found out when going to the Phils for the first time to meet someone that I only had contact with by web cam and on the phone is who are they really?

What I mean is, it's great talking on these systems, but you cannot beat face to face too, plus the girl thinks if you are going all that way and spending thousands of pounds you must love them because they sure love you. But being English and having that stiff upper lip, you dont want to lead them along just in case.

Some of us can say, "yes i love you so much", just to get into their pants. There is only one regret I have ever made to my Em, and that was me not saying I loved her when we left each other at the airport. I wanted to so much, but just in case when I got back to England i felt differently, I did not want to lead her on. I do love the same woman so much it hurts sometimes.

So if you love them tell them but not just to get your wicked way with them.

[bigmarco]

I can totally understand what you are saying. But I am not stringing her along. I do really like her lots. I am just a very cautious person and worry that she could be scamming me. I am 90% sure she isn't. But then I am not going to spend a fortune to visit her and find I am being scammed. We are only a few months into this and I am quite happy to continue the relationship as we are for a while longer yet, just to be 100% certain.
For the record I have asked her to come to the UK, but she has a contract with her employer for another 16 months (if I remember rightly) She is currently working in Singapore and has told me there is no point in me coming to meet her there as she won't have time to see me due to work.
She is in Philippines now for Christmas and asked me to come with her. Unfortunately I have no holiday time owing at work this year and we aren't allowed time off over Christmas unless it's an emergency.
I am not totally skint and it wouldn't take me long to save to go. But As she probably wont be getting any time off now until next Christmas, that would be the earliest we could meet, and I have already told her she would have to come to the UK for Xmas 2013 as I cant get it off work. So time will tell if she will.


But please do believe me when I say I would love nothing more than us to be together permanently. Also it works both ways you know when you say about filling a ladies head with dreams.

She hasn't asked you for anything up to now apart from your company at Christmas. I think it's fair to assume she's not conning you.
You say once that it will take you a couple of years to save up again and later that she will have to come to you next Christmas 2013. Surely you understand that it's far easier for us to visit them and it really doesn't come to an awful lot of money to jump on a plane and spend some time together if only for a week.
To be brutally honest I get the impression that she's probably a bit more serious about this than you. She seems far keener than you to clear that first obstacle.
I think the men hold a lot of the cards in these online relationships but I think it is somewhat naïve to expect a lady to wait for such long periods for these relationships to move on to the next level. I honestly couldn't blame a lady like this for having a few online male friends because it would be foolish on her part to sit around waiting forever for someone to be 100% satisfied they are not being conned.

[jake]

Good points Marco. If you really want to meet her at some point get on a plane and go to the Philippines or Singapore. Its not that hard! Even if you only see her for a day it might be the best decision you have ever made in your life.
The only way you can get to know them properly is one on one.
Maybe it wont workout out but you will never know until you try.
You hear so many negatives about Filipina women and a large amount of the things said are from ignorant people.

[stevewool]

Surely you understand that it's far easier for us to visit them and it really doesn't come to an awful lot of money to jump on a plane and spend some time together if only for a week.

I honestly couldn't blame a lady like this for having a few online male friends because it would be foolish on her part to sit around waiting forever for someone to be 100% satisfied they are not being conned.

it is easy for many of us to travel there plus take it as a holiday to somewhere that you have never been before so plan to visit other places with your new girl if the family lets you, also how many times have you read or heard about men going over to the phils and planning to meet more then the one lady, i was talking to a few ladies once but i only went to see the one

[Slip]

I have read all your posts and as much as I can't really argue any points you all make, I guess you can say I am scared of being hurt. I'm not a very outgoing person, despite my age, I've always been a bit on the shy side and not a great conversationalist. I am the sort of person that will watch and listen rather than get involved in a conversation.

One thing I have learnt over the past two weeks while she is at home and out of internet contact is that I miss her like mad.

I had already mentioned to her that I would come to Singapore next year but she was the one who told me not to. I said I don't mind coming for 2 weeks and staying in a hotel and sightseeing and seeing her as and when I can. But she said she didn't want me doing that. This year as I have already said was too soon to go to Philippines with her for Christmas and I couldn't have gone because of work anyway.

She did say she would break her contract and come to UK next year. I did tell her not to do that as she sends money home to her family. I told her I would support her while she stayed with me but her family rely on her money.


We have a lot of talking to do over the next few weeks when she is able to get back online.


I don't really know much about others stories on here. But those that met online I would be interested to know how long it was before you met in person and did either have to make any sacrifices or was it as easy as a few have mentioned on here and you just jumped on a plane for a few weeks holiday.

[grahamw48]

Your girl makes a good point about not wasting your time going all the way to Singapore when she'll be working (probably long hours). I would agree with her on that.

I would certainly not encourage her to break her contract ...on the basis of a 'cyber-relationship'. Very important for her and her family that she has work, and extremely complicated and expensive for her to secure OFW work.

Much better that you meet her in the Philippines, her home country (and cheaper than Singapore anyway).

To get over there and meet her, probably be looking at a couple of thousand quid all-in.

I would suggest, the sooner the better.

[stevewool]

over 2years i was talking to Emma yes also just talking to others too, i knew Emma was talking to others also, it was just chatting asking how are you and just everyday stuff, when you are alone thats all you need sometimes someone who wants to listen and talk too, after about 7 months me and Emma said lets make a go of it and just talk to each other, so thats what we did it took me another year to save enough to get out there to see the lady for the first time face to face and i can honestly say what we talked about and what Emma told me in all those times she never ever lied or lead me on at all, never once did we say things that was rude, i knew then i had someone special and to me perfect, so trust your heart and your mind but also listen to advice from people who has been there and done that,

[joebloggs]

I have read all your posts and as much as I can't really argue any points you all make, I guess you can say I am scared of being hurt. I'm not a very outgoing person, despite my age, I've always been a bit on the shy side and not a great conversationalist. I am the sort of person that will watch and listen rather than get involved in a conversation.

I don't really know much about others stories on here. But those that met online I would be interested to know how long it was before you met in person and did either have to make any sacrifices or was it as easy as a few have mentioned on here and you just jumped on a plane for a few weeks holiday.

Don't wait too long, there is a chance that she might think you will never come and see her AND MOVE ON

Life is about taking risks, so take that risk, go and see her ASAP. its the same risk we all have made, leaving the UK on a long flight and wondering if she will turn up at the airport. Most of us have not regretted taking that risk and going to see our Mahal

Oh and I kept my misses waiting years before i met her (I could list the excuses but I'll not) something i do regret, time and distance can cause problems for a LDR

[WhiteBloodAda]

I don't really know much about others stories on here. But those that met online I would be interested to know how long it was before you met in person and did either have to make any sacrifices or was it as easy as a few have mentioned on here and you just jumped on a plane for a few weeks holiday.

After a month of chatting online, phone, and texting I decided to get in my car and drive the 7 miles to meet her

I had a works meal that evening, of which I was slightly late too, but totally worth it. When you find yourself talking about a heck of a lot of random .... on your "first date" you know your onto a winner! Walked her back to her place after and she made an awesome cup of tea! I knew she was the one for me

[bikerpat]

Good one Graham. May I suggest this applies not just to Filipina girls but Asian women in general that you meet online.

[hawk]

when i was on dating site called tagged i put down that i wasent rich but the minute they started talking about needing money i just told them i will not give money my wife now was left she told me she had a job and did not need money i never gave any to her till we were in relationship for while and was ready to marry were happy guiuse i found a good honest one i support her the best i can when i can till the day were togeather in uk

[gWaPito]

I also think its unfair of a guy to string a girl along for many months or years if he truly has no money. Flights to and from the Phillipines are expensive as also are visa's, cfo, ielts ect ect, and of course there is the minimum earnings requirements now for fiancee/Spouse visas. If men arent financially capable of of progressing a relationship beyond an online relationship, they should think seriously about filling a ladies head and heart with dreams of life abroad with her new boyfriend.

Gratitude for the member to comment here otherwise I wouldn't of known this thread existed.

How about if I chopped in my trusty ever faithful C5 for an Aston Martin. .I wonder if my fellow taxpayers wouldn't mind helping me out with the maintenance bills I thought not. Moral of the story is, live within your means.

Me personally won't be Internet dating again. .I failed twice, never to be repeated.

Better to save and earn your money instead of wasting hours trolling sites looking for love while on the other side of the coin they are trolling site for mugs like me.

The age gap issue. ..for me, the age gap was a major contribution to my 2 failings. ...Not matter how well we got on in their own environment as soon as they settled here and met likewise here it changed. ..cld go on. ..I won't.

It seems some of my Aunts and Uncles married with over 10 years differences, the fact was, it made a difference especially in later life when the wife was in her 50's and the husband in their late 60s. ...okay, I'm going back to the day when men wasn't expected live live much past 64 years but, resentment was there, even in the 1940's and 50's.

Yes, I hear some say we are happy blah blah blah. ..which I don't doubt for one minute give it a decade or so down the line then see how one feels.

Just my biased opinion folks

[bigmarco]

Gratitude for the member to comment here otherwise I wouldn't of known this thread existed.

How about if I chopped in my trusty ever faithful C5 for an Aston Martin. .I wonder if my fellow taxpayers wouldn't mind helping me out with the maintenance bills I thought not. Moral of the story is, live within your means.

Me personally won't be Internet dating again. .I failed twice, never to be repeated.

Better to save and earn your money instead of wasting hours trolling sites looking for love while on the other side of the coin they are trolling site for mugs like me.

The age gap issue. ..for me, the age gap was a major contribution to my 2 failings. ...No matter how well we got on in their own environment as soon as they settled here and met likewise here it changed. ..cld go on. ..I won't.

It seems some of my Aunts and Uncles married with over 10 years differences, the fact was, it made a difference especially in later life when the wife was in her 50's and the husband in their late 60s. ...okay, I'm going back to the day when men wasn't expected live live much past 64 years but, resentment was there, even in the 1940's and 50's.

Yes, I hear some say we are happy blah blah blah. ..which I don't doubt for one minute give it a decade or so down the line then see how one feels.

Just my biased opinion folks

Totally understand your views Mark but you never know what's round the corner.
It's horrible when it goes wrong but I always take the view that the success stories outweigh the nightmares.
Never say Never matey

[gWaPito]

Totally understand your views Mark but you never know what's round the corner.
It's horrible when it goes wrong but I always take the view that the success stories outweigh the nightmares.
Never say Never matey

Cheers Marco

I'm not giving up on love. .it's just I got other more pressing priorities than thinking about oneself. .I'm the bottom of the pile at this time Not a problem with that.

I say the age difference played a part along with the culture issues I thought we didn't have.

Next time someone near my own age, looks unimportant. .What's the good of a beauty when the heart's rotten.

Inherently good people do think that good overcomes evil. .and I'm glad to say, it does. ..unfortunately, most think these nasty things won't happen to then. ..such is human nature. .no gain without risk. .yeah why not. ..Please let the risk be calculated and not just a stab in in the dark.

Time won't be on my side the next time. I'll use my life experiences more wisely in future.

[Ako Si Jamie]

Here's an old one for you Mark.

Why do husbands die before their wives?

Because they want to.

[gWaPito]

Here's an old one for you Mark.

Why do husbands die before their wives?

Because they want to.

Women have a longer life expectancy.

[Ako Si Jamie]

scammers, users or abusers what ever you want to call them, some could ask you for money within mins, some could take weeks or months to gain your trust before they indirectly ask you , some people on this forum have even married scammers. so there is no typical scammer.

Everyone who enters this process should note this piece of advice. Just because she's never asked for money, doesn't mean she won't. In my case it was two years down the line but it was infrequent small amounts. By the third year BOOM it escalated and so did the amounts.

[Michael Parnham]

Everyone who enters this process should note this piece of advice. Just because she's never asked for money, doesn't mean she won't. In my case it was two years down the line but it was infrequent small amounts. By the third year BOOM it escalated and so did the amounts.

I think also that in some cases if you spoil your lady it can after a while become expected, just be sensible!

[grahamw48]

My sweet Mercedes knows that I have sod all to offer in the finance department, and has never asked me for a brass farthing in nearly 3 years now.

I think me acting like a daft young lad all the time brings out her maternal instinct.

[Ako Si Jamie]

I think also that in some cases if you spoil your lady it can after a while become expected, just be sensible!

The first time I spoilt Maria was three years down the line when I bought her a top in a mall in Dagupan. Set me back 350 pesos.

Seriously though, I think spoiling women in the early stages is not a good tactic. Learnt this from an early age and found to my annoyance that most were unappreciative. Best way is to keep your bucks in your pocket and let one's personality do the talking.

[stevewool]

I think also that in some cases if you spoil your lady it can after a while become expected, just be sensible!

It is always nice to spoil someone even yourself sometimes but its good to say no too, just wait a while, then they may forget they wanted it

[Terpe]

I like to spoil my wife, it brings me happiness.

[raynaputi]

I like to spoil my wife, it brings me happiness.

[les_taxi]

I spoil myself it brings me happiness.

I just know an evil mod or Keith will alter this statement.

[Michael Parnham]

I spoil myself it brings me happiness.

I just know an evil mod or Keith will alter this statement.

Do you find it painful Les?

[grahamw48]

Les is already spoilt...living in Harrogate.