mag alok ka ng pagkain sa bisita! (offer something like food to your visitors!)

[Cheryl Tyndall]

i,ma a filipina, married to a divorced white british. One day we visit his daughter, 30-year old, with her live-in partner, and 4-year old adopted son to her house. We were expected to come that day. We came to her house while they were eating dinner. I was shocked because, when we came, they continued eating, not even bothered to invite. We will not eat anyway bec we just had something before we came. It's a shock on my side because in my country, you are always be asked if you had your dinner yet, or even invite us to join them, just a jesture of respect.. You know what i mean? I felt uncomfortable, while my husband didn't seemed bothered. He made himself a cup of tea instead. I can't stand the rudeness... Sorry, but if they come to my house, the first thing i do is put the kettle on., and make them sandwich, or offer some food that is available. That's how we, filipino brought up... What can you say??

[hilda_danao]

Hi cheryl!
i understand how you felt. just say it's a culture shock for you. but it's really like that here. you have to arrange dinner with them when you called and inform that you're coming to visit so they have enough time to prepare and cook. dinner here is always planned ahead unlike in Phil. In Philippines, you can just go to your next door neighboor who has a sari-sari store to buy ingredients or anything you need for dinner. here, they don't have sari-sari store so they have to go to the supermarket which is usually quite far. I and my husband usually shop for 1 week food. In my case, i already know about this so I wasn't shocked. I still appreciate our philippine culture of offering food. it's a warm & hospitable attitude but i understand also that they have different culture.

[Ping]

oh yes, that's the cultre here. if you are not invited for lunch or dinner they don't offer you food even if its your husband parents or brother/sister, daughter/son. one and no other reason is budget. they already budgeted their daily needs for a week.and one more thing when they serve the food its already in the the plate no more. its like a rationing in our filipino culture.american and european is like that, so even if your invited for dinner eat before you go.

[charlwill]

Well, no one can compare to filipino people when it comes to hospitability. Yes, we're still the Best when it come to this.

[Pepe n Pilar]

They have different culture and we must accept that. I have been in U.K. last year and my friend called me one day that she and her husband and son will travel going to our place to visit us. She said i don't have to tell my fiance about it, they will just pop in and if we're not at home when she calls to tell me what time they're coming it is ok. She said she doesn't want my fiance to feel obliged to stay at home just because they are visiting us especially if we are going somewhere else or had a pre planned travel. I said what if i don't tell my fiance abt it and then you're on your way here so it will be a waste of time and money since they will be travelling for 3 hrs and be booked in a hotel. Both of us are filipinos. She is married to the British guy for 20 yrs and so she told me that is their culture. And once there is no invitation from us they don't expect us to prepare something for them.So when they arrived home my fiance got surprised and since we're not prepared for the food for the 5 of us he called a nearby chinese restaurant for a delivery. My friend's husband insisted to pay for them even if my fiance offered to pay as well.
Another filipino i met during my visit told me that she once attended a birthday party of a British guy. They were told to contribute on the amount spent for the wine. So it was divided by among them (they were 10 attendees) even if she didn't had a sip since she only had fruit juice.
As a filipino i know once we have surprise visitors we always offer them something even if we go out to buy crisps and softdrinks from the nearby stores. If we are the celebrant we spend for everything and we don't let the attendees spend for the wine.
For those who do their groceries once a week which i also do this British culture is advantageous for me. I enjoy entertaining friends, wants to prepare food for them.
I guess we have to consider the financial capabilities on this matter may they be of any nationality.

[Mrs Daddy]

I find British culture practical in some way.Take for instance in PI if we invited someone for a meal out we usually pay for it because we`re the one invited them and also if we invited them for a night out we`re responsible for everything as well.But its totally different here in uk,if you`re out with a group you have to pay for your part(chip in kumbaga) which is good really but honestly I find it awkward as well at first but later on I realize its not cheap enough to treat everybody.and I understand you Cheryll because once we visited my step daughter and her husband came from work for lunch and he made him self a sarnie and he`d not bothered asking us if we want some.But its alright I am ok with it by now.Its just that we live in a two different world!

[tommyw]

It depends where you are. Most people in Scotland are hospitible, but there are jokes about the Edinburgh people regards not offering food.
In Ireland, the people are fantastically welcoming. I think most folk put
on weight after a visit there due to the hospitality.
I find it sad what happened to you, there is a lot like that. I realised it
when I lived in London, I was shocked really.
In Philippines they know how to treat guests, even if they have little
money, they still make an effort. That's 1 of the reasons we will settle there some day. I love my wife's family.
Tommy and Lyn.

[eljean]

in the philippines if you have visitors that comes along once in a while you call them "bisita" but when they stay longer they become "bwisita"

In every country there's always a difference...

[ervenescence]

Whenever me and hubby were going to visit friends, relatives, and parents, they usually asked if we would like a cuppa.

I love cup of tea white no sugar please.
What I like about my parents inlaw was..they always served cakes for me to go with the drink.
awww... sweet

[KeithD]

What I like about my parents inlaw was..they always served cakes for me to go with the drink.
awww... sweet

Come to our house, you can have what you wish.........I'll show you the kitchen........and I'll want my tea within the hour

[ervenescence]

Come to our house, you can have what you wish.........I'll show you the kitchen........and I'll want my tea within the hour

I like Lambshank

[Alan]

Lobster thermidor for me - with a brown ale.

[KeithD]

I like Lambshank

That's what Rob likes, but it means something different in Wales

[LadyJ]

When we visit the parents-in-law, either we would like to drink a cup of coffee/tea or not we have to make a cup of coffee to our old man but this is not about the culture, this is because he's big old lazy man!

[charlwill]

Me, is vey lucky on the other hand!!! Anywhere we go it's either friends, in-laws or family they're very generous to offer something to drink and eat.

[Alan]

I am rather surprised at some of the things I have read in this thread.

If anybody comes to my house they are more than welcome to stay to lunch/dinner or whatever. I know loads of Brits. who are the same also.

Al

[Pepe n Pilar]

You're right Alan. There many Brits who are like filipinos too and there are many filipinos who are like Brits....So how about that???

[PeterB]

Indeed! Ruby tells me several tales of when her kababayan have been less than friendly towards her! :(

However, although I have been suspicious of one or two of the filipinos I've met, I have to say that most have been very friendly and helpful ... even if they have expected reward for that help!