Relationship with In-Laws

[jlags90]

For the Ladies (Filipina wives)- Coming from a country where close family ties is very widely observed and having no relatives in the UK apart from the new family, how is your relationship with the in-laws?

For the Gents (British Husbands) - How is your relationship with the in-laws and what are your views about extended Filipino family?


As it would be unfair asking the question and not sharing my own experience: I can't ask for more - they are very nice to me. The only thing I feel awkward about is calling her mother by her name (not the usual mum after the marriage).

[raynaputi]

I've been so lucky to have in-laws that are very welcoming and very accommodating to me ever since I arrived here. They're always concern about me and even my family back home. Keith's mum even told both Keith & me that she'd be on my side from the very start. Hahaha ..Anyway, Keith's family is a very close knit, just like what I have in the Philippines. We meet every week for dinners and talk via phone from time to time. Keith's kids (22yo son and 19yo daughter) have been good to me too (even before I came here to UK) and talk to me even in Facebook, but then as you all know, most teens here in the UK aren't that family oriented and want to be with friends or bf/gf most of the time. But everything's fine and I'm really glad I don't have any problems with any of them. I call my in-laws "Mum & Dad". Keith also calls my parents "Mama & Papa".

[Tawi2]

Lolo was a great guy,didnt say much but he was deep that way,Lola is the business,I love her to bits,great twinkle in her eyes my brother-in-law did a runner for three weeks once,he didnt come home because I was going to kick him around the yard like a dog once,and I was going to do it,I was screaming down the phone at him that hard he dropped the phone and did a runner in panic extended families are ok,they arent the be-all and end-all though,but my pinoy family barring that one brother in law,have always treated me like one of them,no difference,one of lolas brothers said he liked me better than any other "americans" because I never asked to be met at the airport and never needed running around or having my hand held

[han]

I don't have any issues also with my in-laws. Me and my husband stayed with them for like 4 months before we moved into our rented place, and so those times serve as the start of my bonding moment with them. His mother is so loving, I remember she introduced me to her WI (womens institute) friends and they became my friends too- I often attend to their monthly meeting, i'm the youngest member but I don't mind it.

[melovesengland]

Havent got any issues with mine. They're all brilliant and loving. Very easy to get well one from the very start. Best part for me is that they do SPOIL me.

[grahamw48]

They are all facebook friends...at least 20+ of them, and we were divorced in 2006.

My own family loved the ex and her kids to bits...never any problems. Treated her better than me.

[Iani]

We get on great and clicked nearly from the start. It feels sort of odd calling them "mama and papa", as it isn't really what I'd have expected to call someone, but this was made pretty clear it's the most respectful thing to do, so I'm fine with that. I've got used to it anyway.

The extended family, oh yes - seems to be the whole district is related somehow I can't keep up with the "ninangs" etc. They're great though and as I guess I came from a small family unit, and adopted into that to boot (So I was the supermarket kid, it's how I used to feel), it's nice to have all these relatives suddenly, who mostly seem to like me.......I hope

[sars_notd_virus]

Its very easy for us both ways as we have the same views on our family, As we are married we are now just one big family.
we both do as much as we can to support our kin both home and abroad and always answer when called as it should be.
with my mother in law , I get treated as the daughter she never had as she had all boys ...six of them...wow what a mother!!

[Michael Parnham]

Don't really know how to deal with lots of people around me at one time, my in laws are nice to me and I appreciate them making me feel at home but I feel uncomfortable probably because as a child I was never allowed to bring any school friends home, so I never bothered making any friends at school. To me its strange being with more than a couple of people at any one time, my Maritess is opposite, she has big family and knows all her relatives, I was only introduced to a couple of cousins who I have only ever met once in my life!!

[grahamw48]

Yes, I suppose it does depend on what you've grown up with.

Although we didn't really have friends round at home either or many visits from relatives, with there being 4 kids in our family, we had to get used to sharing and having other people about.
Also because we were a forces family, that meant changing schools often, which in turn means having to quickly adapt to lots of new people and situations.

[sars_notd_virus]

Oh well btw i call my mother in law MUM,,...I call my own mother MOM or Mamita as my kids says it..half spanish we are..wonder why

[grahamw48]

We still call our mother 'Mammy'...because we're half Irish.

[sars_notd_virus]

We still call our mother 'Mammy'...because we're half Irish.

whale oil beef hooked!!

[bigmarco]

I have a great relationship with Nanay and Tatay particularly Tatay because he speaks good English. I have become really attached to them and the whole family.
Mary Grace gets on well with all my family who have made her feel very welcome. She is already very close to Mum and calls her mum, and I can tell that Mum thinks she's inherited another daughter. They are already very close.

[jlags90]

Thank you for all your wonderful replies. Arriving in a different country away from the comforts of our own family, it would be very difficult NOT getting along well with the in-laws. I particularly noticed the mother-in-law's fondness to their new addition to the family. David once complained when I arrived from Lytham full of shopping stuff (and nothing for him!) It is very nice to hear that everyone is getting along well...

For the gents, I am glad you all enjoy being in a very big family circle! David was first shocked why I bought loads of Christmas presents if I only have one sister and the parents of course. I said, the aunts uncles and the whole neighbourhood as well - they are my relatives!

[ConfusedMe]

The only thing I feel awkward about is calling her mother by her name (not the usual mum after the marriage).

I am thankful as well coz my husband's family are very nice to me. Same as you jlags. I was planning to call them 'mum' or 'dad' once I arrived in the UK, but called my in-laws using their names instead. Don't know how it started, but feels So awkward. Trying to change it but I guess it's way too late now

[WhiteBloodAda]

As I live with my Mum again these days, Ruby got to meet Mum pretty early. I knew I was onto a winner as none of my previous partners really mixed to well with my family, or at least I was uncomfortable with them being around them as my family isn't that close. But Mum and the Roobs hit off well. Which was lucky as Ruby's last two weeks in the country before having to move back to the Philippines she moved in here, and as I had to work for one of those weeks, those two would go out and do stuff together! She only got to meet my sister once when we went up to stay at hers for new years, and again they got on well. Dad and his partner aswell also got on easily with Ruby. Although she was from a different country, background, and upbringing, they never viewed it like that. They just saw her as another British girl as such. They all chat a lot on facebook etc still, and while my parents came over for the wedding itself I couldn't get near Ruby as they hogged her!

As for my in-laws, I couldn't have asked for anything more! Instantly I was overwhelmed by the hospitality and friendly nature of the whole family, and I must admit I actually felt a little awkward at first as I'd never experienced it before. I'm not very good with people doing things for me, or buying me presents etc, I'm a very independent person, so having everything done for me, while I just sit there was a strange feeling. But otherwise we hit it off straight away. Her Mum is very shy with her English so Ruby translated 99% of the time, but that was fine. Her brothers and sister in law became the people I spoke to the most at first, her sister never really spoke.... She was always too busy watching anime or playing games online :P The first time I went over there I was in Ruby's pocket most of the time, but in November I relaxed a lot more. Got to do things with her family without her there, and I also finally got to meet her Dad, as he works away so wasn't there in April. I'd spoken to him many times on Skype, and also asked for permission for Ruby's hand in marriage over Skype too. He speaks fantastic English so had no problems talking to him at all.

As a bonus both my families have met too, and they also got on splendidly! The two mums now share recipes, the two Dads never stopped chatting, and as even more of a bonus, my Sister who never wanted to get married or have kids, after falling in love with one of Ruby's family, has now had a change in mentality! I'd say all things are good!

[GraceAdam]

Awww goodie for you Jon I have no problem with mine as well. When I first arrived here I called them Mum and Dad already, no one told me, but I just wanted to..para ma "in" ba..haha

Everyone in the house including my sisters-in-law are so nice to me. I couldn't ask for more really... We're blessed. xx

[mickmyrna]

Hi everyone ! For me i didn't have any problem about my inlaws , they are so kind and they visit us every weekend ! and they treat me like their own daughter because my husband is the only kid and i call my inlaws mum and dad ...and my mother treats him like a real son as well , my brothers accept him as part of the family ...hubby calls my mum mama ... Myrna

[melovesengland]

I am thankful as well coz my husband's family are very nice to me. Same as you jlags. I was planning to call them 'mum' or 'dad' once I arrived in the UK, but called my in-laws using their names instead. Don't know how it started, but feels So awkward. Trying to change it but I guess it's way too late now

I also call them by their names. Awkward times. Took me months before I call them with their names. Weird sort of thing.

[Rhose]

Don't have any problem with mine. They are so great!! Supporting me and my Prince Charming all the way. They spoiling me..no doubt about it!!

[jlags90]

I am thankful as well coz my husband's family are very nice to me. Same as you jlags. I was planning to call them 'mum' or 'dad' once I arrived in the UK, but called my in-laws using their names instead. Don't know how it started, but feels So awkward. Trying to change it but I guess it's way too late now

It is really awkward at first. One time when we were crossing the street and she didn't notice the car - I shouted "Mother!" Hahaha! That was the only time I called her that way. Now, I feel comfortable calling her by her name. She is very lovely, I think her fondness of me developed to the next level when she realized that her wedding dress fits perfectly on me.