Is anyone still reading this drivel? Hmmm, okay then, here's the next instalment:
Oh, what I hadn't mentioned was the traffic! Ruby was amused because I kept giggling .. I think that was from fright! It seemed clear that there was absolutely no rules to driving in Phils, other than you sound your horn and go. There was none of the 'right of way' and 'give way' which we're accustomed to in the UK. Yet, miraculously, there didn't seem to be any collisions! In fact, in 30 days spent in Phils, so far, I've only seen one accident - a hit and run where a van knocked a motorcycle over.
Something else I should have mentioned earlier ... Ruby had told me that her family were poor, and that she was shy about bringing me to the home. I had always assured her that I would never judge anyone by their wealth or lifestyle - that I would be very honoured to be welcomed to their home, however humble.
Anyway, back to the story ... visiting Ruby's family. Now, that was an experience! Remember, that I'd not had any chance, yet, to be alone with Ruby - we'd expressed our feelings by contact, but not in words. We headed out of Tagum along the concrete road, past rice fields, past plantations, through settlements then, as we reached one group of wooden huts, there was some conversation between Ruby, Ayong and the driver. We turned right onto a dirt track, pot-holed and uneven. Most of the track had buildings on one side, and banana plantation on the other. After about a mile, there was a clearing to the right, and I could see three or four scattered buildings -we soon turned right again, onto an even more uneven and pot-holed track -this time only just wide enough for the van.
We went as far as the buildings I had seen in the clearing and stopped and got out of the van. We were surrounded by rice fields and just a cluster of buildings, mainly wooden. A gaggle of children gathered round, all seeming curious and excited to see this white stranger. Ruby introduced me to some of them - clearly part of her family. They held out their hands, so I took them politely and shook them - but why did they press Ruby's hand to their foreheads? About two hundred metres to our left were a couple more buildings, one a half-built block/concrete house. Ruby took my hand, and led me down the footpath in that direction. The path became a metre-wide bank between the rice and we headed towards that half-built house, accompanied by some of the children. When we reached that house, there was a wooden plank bridging a water-filled ditch and leading onto the land surrounding the house. There were a number of people there .. about a dozen .. and was ushered into the front porch. More hands were held out, this time Ruby pressed their hands to her forehead, but again I just took them and shook them politely.
Ruby later introduced me to the custom of 'blessing', but was highly amused when I practiced by pressing her hand to my forehead. No-no, she told me, it's a mark of respect to your seniors - the junior person presses the other's hand to the forehead. Okay, but I was much the same age as her parents (in fact, I learned later that I'm older than Ruby's mum), what should I do? I came to the conclusion that, being associated with Ruby, I should show her parents the same respect that she does - this seems to have gone down well!
Hmm, I seem to keep getting distracted from the story! I was introduced to all of these people, but was very confused about who everyone was. Still, I decided that I must focus my attention on her parents - at least I could identify them and Ruby! Now the 'ordeal' began - we sat in the porch and I faced what I can only describe as an inquisition. Who was I, what was my background, what were my intentions towards Ruby? The questions came from her parents, mostly interpreted by Ruby, and about three or four others - clearly older siblings. Clearly, there was a degree of suspicion - understandably so. I was at a loss to know what was expected of me - I kept turning to Ruby for inspiration and guidance, but all she would do was nod and encourage me to 'go on'! I wasn't (and I'm still not) sure whether I was expected, there and then, to commit to marriage. Yet I'd only just met Ruby about three hours previously, and we'd not had an opportunity to talk. I attempted to assure everyone that I was decent, honest and trustworthy, and that I certainly didn't intend to do Ruby any harm. I said that I wanted to use my ten days in Philippines to get to know Ruby a lot better and to explore the possibility of developing our relationship.
By now it was dark, and time to head back to the city. We said our farewells, and Ruby and I, together with Ayong and the driver got back in the van and set off back down the tracks towards the main road. Finally we arrived back at the hotel, Ayong accompanied us to the room, made sure we were okay, and left us. At long last we were together .. alone, but both very tired. We simply hugged each other for some time and laid down on the bed to rest. We talked, we kissed, we hugged, and began the process of 'getting to know each other'. I do not remember, now, whether Ruby later went back to her boarding house that evening, to fetch her things. I think she must have done - unless she'd been carrying her nightclothes around with her during the day. If she did go, I wanted to go with her, but she insisted that I stayed and rested. I was certainly tired! That night, we slept comfortably in each other's arms.
I don't remember what we did about eating on that first day, or the next morning. I guess that we didn't eat much in the evening apart from some of the chocolate I'd brought. The next morning I fancy we went to Greenwich and ate there .. but I really don't have a clear memory of that. However, we spent most of the second day, back at the house - we bought a couple of roasted chickens on the way, to form the basis of the family lunch. I don't even remember whether Ayong came with us again - I think it was the van driver (a different one this time - Uncle Boy) and his wife (Ate Jean).
By now, Ruby and I had become better acquainted - we certainly seemed to get on okay together, I was less tired and feeling more confident about facing the family. I was prepared to assure them that I really could forsee a life-long committment. We had a good day, getting to know each other, and I had a chance to appreciate the wonderful views - the open rice fields, the plantations beyond, and the mountains in the distance. It was remote, it was peaceful, it was beautiful. I really loved it here .. and the family seemed to be warming to me!
However, the big surprise of the day was when we stopped off on the way home so that I could be introduce to an Aunt and Uncle. "This", Ruby said, "is my husband-to-be."! Wow! She is serious! I wasn't sure that I'd actually agreed to this, but I liked the idea! From that point on, I knew that our relationship could only go one way!
