The tale of Pete (and Ruby!)

[PeterB]

By popular request (well, two people have suggested that they might read it!), and inspired by Alan's blog, here is the account of my discovery of love in the Philippines.

Where to begin? Well, I won't go back as far as Alan has, although I may fill in a few bits of history if they become relevant to the story.

Perhaps the natural starting point is last August (2006), when I got around to continuing a conversation with my wife of 28 years, which I started about 20 years previously. I wasn't sure that the relationship I had with my wife was anything like the loving partnernship I felt that a marriage should be. Now, I'm a God-fearing man and had never been physically unfaithful, although I have had one or two female acquaintances with whom I felt that a relationship could be more meaningful than that I had with my wife.

So it was that we spent the autumn undergoing professional counselling and discussions with Christian friends. The outcome was that I concluded that I really would be happier living apart from my wife and, perhaps, she would, ultimately, be happier apart from me.

In January this year we (yes, we .. together) started looking to buy a house for my wife. This marked the point at which I felt sufficient emotional separation to begin exploring other friendships .. starting to build a life separate from my wife. For the last 28 years almost all my social interaction had been joint. Actually, I use the term 'social interaction' with some reservation. Without wishing to turn this into a character assassination, my wife views any journey of more than 10 miles as a major expedition and feels that time spent talking to neighbours as time wasted! I have found this to be something of a constraint, having been used to travel and meeting people in different situations.

For a long time I have used MSN to keep in touch with friends, and my son (22 y/o), but it has never been a mechanism for meeting new people. During January, some Lithuanian friends encouraged me to subscribe to Skype - they use it to maintain contact with the family. This introduced me to the public discussion rooms through which I began to make friends worldwide. One of the people I met through Skype introduced me to Eyeball, which she used to keep in touch with a guy in the USA. I joined Eyeball and quickly found that the chat rooms were frequented predominantly by men looking for less-than-permanent virtual sexual relationships. However, I also discovered that something like 90% of the females were from the Philippines. Some appeared to be happy to satisfy the desires of the majority of the males, many seemed to be looking for financial support, but one or two did appear to be decent and willing to chat. I kept a lookout in the chat roooms, and began inviting one or two to join me in a private online chat, always stressing that I wanted to keep it 'clean'.

So it was that, towards the end of April, I first had a chat with someone called Ruby. I very quickly formed a good impression of this young lady. She seemed to be quiet, reserved and unassuming - unlike her companion who wanted to monopolise the conversation with me. Ruby, bless her, presumed that I would prefer to chat with Shugar. Without wishing to appear rude or impolite, I wanted to encourage Shugar away from the keyboard and cam, and get Ruby back online. Altogether, we chatted for more than 4 hours on that first occasion, and it must have been about midnight before Shugar and Ruby left the internet cafe and made their way back to the boarding house. Ruby asked me to phone in half an hour, when she'd got back to her boarding house, to say goodnight - which I did at 17.33 UK time!

I had been told that Shugar and Ruby shared a birthday the following day (well, coincidences do happen, I shared a birthday with a lad in my class at school), and Shugar asked for a present .. chocolate, and Ruby gave me her address at work! I did send chocolate, but it took me a couple of days to arrange ... and it was never received. I presumed that Ruby would become 24 y/o the next day, since her online profile currently said 23! (I later learned that it was Shugar's birthday the next day, but not Ruby's - Shugar had convinced her that no one on the Internet tells the truth, so it was okay to lie! Ruby had turned 23 only a few weeks earlier).

The following day I waited eagerly all afternoon, hoping that Ruby would get online - would it be too presumptious to phone or text? Were they out having a good time? I was disappointed, bit I didn't try to call.

... to be continued.

[Alan]

Thanks for that Peter - a VERY interesting beginning.

Look forward to more.

Al

[singkit]

Oh that Shugar babe must got your chocolates for Ruby There's always a "Shugar" that steps in the way in everyone's lives. Thinking you're both happy now, I am thankful that whatever Shugar will do in your next episode, I knew she didnt succeed.Thanks for sharing your love story.

[PeterB]

The second installment:

Well, two days after that first chat, I was beginning to convince myself that they had simply been two young girls amusing themselves at the expense of a gullible western guy. Still, I knew that they wouldn't be well off, and 4 hours online must be costing them something. Wait ... here she was ... 'Ruby***' online again. I don't recall which of us made the first contact .. almost certainly I did, but we chatted for a long time again - not quite as late as on the first occasion, but it was still almost 17.30 in UK when I phoned to say goodnight!

Well, from then on we chatted, phoned and/or texted almost every day and I quickly realised that I needed to meet this wonderful young lady in person. I told Ruby that I was going to come and visit ... we discussed possible dates and arrangements. Ruby went along with these discussions - she was working 6 days a week, Monday being her day off, so we agreed that I should arrive on a Sunday, and leave on a Tuesday. This would give me eight complete days in the Philippines, including two of Ruby's days off. I thought of booking two weeks, but felt that one week would probably be quite long enough on a risky gamble like this. Ruby told me that she may be able to persuade her supervisor to let her have another day off, but would leave it till I was there in person, else her supervisor simply wouldn't believe her. So, just under 3 weeks from our first chat, I booked flights to arrive at Davao on the last Sunday in May, leaving again on the first Tuesday in June.

I sent Ruby an SMS to tell her I had booked the flights, and giving her my arrival date/time ... 20 minutes later she was online, expressing immense surprise ... she hadn't really believed that I was serious about coming, but now she knew that I was. She confessed to me that sales girls really weren't allowed time off, but said that she would resign from her job so that she could spend all her time with me. I told her that she must not do this. I said that we would make the most of the time she did have off and I'm clearly not quite the gentleman that Alan is, because I suggested, tentatively, that we could spend the nights together - though I did promise that we would not do anything that we weren't both comfortable about.

I told Ruby that I would be able to make my own way from Davao airport to Tagum, and I would meet her from work on the Sunday evening. Over the coming days I was introduced to a few of her friends online - her boardmates, work colleagues, a husband of a work colleague and even her big sister. Some doubts arose in my mind during these days - was this an organised gang of scammers .. the girls prospecting in pairs, offering the punters a choice, and one of these friends was her 'pimp' ... all sorts of possibilities came to my mind but, deep down, I knew that Ruby was a good person. As it was, Ruby and her friends offered to arrange everything - the colleague's husband would come with a hired car to meet me at the airport, she would book hotel room etc. I offered to send money to pay for these things, but Ruby said that it wasn't necessary (I learned, later, that she had borrowed money 'Utang', from various sources, not only to pay deposits, but to fund her internet time etc).

Then, a problem became apparent - the two principal hotels in town were fully booked because there was a conference locally. Once again she said that she would resign her job and we would stay together in Davao city. And again, I said no - that I'd rather cancel my trip than to let her prejudice her employment. I told her that I'd rather stay in her boarding house with her, although I knew that this would be very basic and almost impossible. I managed to get hold of another contact in Tagum, to ask her advice - she suggested a third hotel. Ruby said that she'd looked at this hotel, but that she wasn't happy - it wasn't of a suitable standard for her important guest. When pushed, she admitted that the problem with it was that it is quite basic and there was a shower, but no bath!Well, of course that didn't matter to me at all ... I haven't had a bath in about 20 years! So, it happened that the hotel was booked and everything was set for my visit.

[aromulus]

Tagum...???

Not the Eagles View Hotel, I hope...

[Alan]

'and I'm clearly not quite the gentleman that Alan is'

Thank you for that mate - and I'm sure that you ARE really!!!

I also tried to send Hanna some money for arrangements for my first visit etc... but she was having none of it - even though I knew she was poor. This gave me a good feeling about her - especially after so many girls HAD asked for money when I first went onto MFB.
So, she wouldn't accept any money for anything - I therefore sent her 2 dozen red roses. Well, you would have thought I had given her a million quid!!!! She could not get over it.

Peter - your blog is VERY interesting - and - you are correct - it has many similarities to my story.

Look forward to chapter 3.

All the best.

Al

[PeterB]

Tagum...???

Not the Eagles View Hotel, I hope...

Nope, that was one of the two 'better' hotels. We've been using the Raj Hotel - Mirafuentes Avenue.

[PeterB]

'and I'm clearly not quite the gentleman that Alan is'

Thank you for that mate - and I'm sure that you ARE really!!!

Hey, wait for the later chapters before you make that judgement! Actually, things should become obvious by the time Ruby comes to the proposed meet!

Peter - your blog is VERY interesting - and - you are correct - it has many similarities to my story.

Look forward to chapter 3.

Wow, thanks for the encouragement. Work is in progress.

[PeterB]

Part three .........

But what of my suggestion of spending nights together? Much to my surprise, Ruby agreed to this, but left me in no uncertainty that I would first have to meet her parents. So, the plan was that I would stay alone in the hotel on the first night and we would spend our first day together visiting her family.

Then, on my last day in the UK Ruby told me that she had a surprise for me, but I had to wait to find out what .. on the day of my arrival. I guessed, immediately, that she was planning to meet me at the airport. I questioned her and she assured me that she had been allowed the time off work .. this turned out to be her third lie to me!

Early the next morning, I set off for Heathrow airport - my wife even drove me there! Knowing the filipina predilection for chocolate, I had bought several bars to take with me, however, I bought even more when I got airside at Heathrow. I have always enjoyed flying so the 12 hour flight to Singapore was a pleasure, eating, watching films (my favourite movie, Notting Hill) and sleeping. The flight was a little delayed, so my 1 hour 20 mins transit at Changi became even shorter, but was still comfortable. It was only half way through the four hour flight to Davao that the enormity of what I was doing suddenly hit me! Here I was, travelling half way around the world, to meet a lady 30 years my junior, who I'd only known for 5 1/2 weeks on the internet - what on earth was I letting myself in for?

Well, I stepped off the plane in Davao, feeling that the entire situation was unreal .. a dream. I remember queueing at the passport control - I was one of the last to leave the plane - there were two passport control desks operating and I eagerly rushed to join the shorter queue ... what a mistake. Everyone else must have been in on the secret, apart from the three people who queued up behind me. This guy spent 10 minuutes checking each passport, placing the little red immigration stamp, signing and dating. I was the last but three to claim my bag in the baggage hall, and everyone else had long gone! I walked to the front of the terminal building, unaware that only passengers were allowed inside. Unlike most other airports, where the travellers are met as they leave the customs clearance, there was no one waiting to 'meet and greet'. That's it, I thought, I've taken so long to get out here that Ruby and Ayong have given up on me, decided I was bluffing after all, and gone home.

There were two automatic glass doors by which to exit the building - I almost broke my nose on the first one because it was not operational. I successfully escaped from the building through the other door, to be surrounded by a gaggle of taxi drivers all eager for business. No, Ruby had warned me to trust no one - I muttered at these cabbies as I pushed through, looking for a friendly face as I did so. I really was beginning to feel abandoned - I looked up and down the pavement, crossed the roadway, then my eyes alighted on two familiar faces at the top of the steps opposite me, emerging from the shelter of a tent. The guy carried on towards me, while the young lady turned and went back inside the tent - not a promising start! However, Ayong greeted me part way up the steps, shaking my hand firmly, and taking my bag from me. I learned that Ayong is the perfect host - he's never left me to carry a bag at any time.

We carried on to the top of the steps and Ruby came back to the entrance of the tent. With Ayong making a tentative introduction, Ruby and I smiled sheepishly at each other, then hugged and kissed cheeks. It felt good .. very good! After a few moments, Ayong led the way to the waiting van, while Ruby took my hand. We were soon loaded into the van - Ruby and I sat side by side in the back while Ayong sat up front alongside the driver. We were soon on our way and I turned to look at the beautiful young lady beside me - we smiled, leant against each other, locked arms and held hands - it didn't take long before we summoned up the courage to kiss on the lips. My eternal memory of that journey back to Davao is of me resting my weary head on Ruby's shoulder, and the wind from the open front window blowing her hair into my face, like lots of tiny whips. It felt good .. very good! I was informed that the plan for the rest of the day was that we would stop of at the hotel in Tagum, check in and drop my bags, and then go on to Asuncion to visit Ruby's family at home.

[gracia143]

This is lovely Pete!

[Alan]

This is so similar to mine - it is getting spooky.

Al.

[Peanutz]

This is so similar to mine - it is getting spooky.

Al.

Awwwww! LOVE LOVE LOVE...sigh! What a wonderful feeling!

[PeterB]

Is anyone still reading this drivel? Hmmm, okay then, here's the next instalment:

Oh, what I hadn't mentioned was the traffic! Ruby was amused because I kept giggling .. I think that was from fright! It seemed clear that there was absolutely no rules to driving in Phils, other than you sound your horn and go. There was none of the 'right of way' and 'give way' which we're accustomed to in the UK. Yet, miraculously, there didn't seem to be any collisions! In fact, in 30 days spent in Phils, so far, I've only seen one accident - a hit and run where a van knocked a motorcycle over.

Something else I should have mentioned earlier ... Ruby had told me that her family were poor, and that she was shy about bringing me to the home. I had always assured her that I would never judge anyone by their wealth or lifestyle - that I would be very honoured to be welcomed to their home, however humble.

Anyway, back to the story ... visiting Ruby's family. Now, that was an experience! Remember, that I'd not had any chance, yet, to be alone with Ruby - we'd expressed our feelings by contact, but not in words. We headed out of Tagum along the concrete road, past rice fields, past plantations, through settlements then, as we reached one group of wooden huts, there was some conversation between Ruby, Ayong and the driver. We turned right onto a dirt track, pot-holed and uneven. Most of the track had buildings on one side, and banana plantation on the other. After about a mile, there was a clearing to the right, and I could see three or four scattered buildings -we soon turned right again, onto an even more uneven and pot-holed track -this time only just wide enough for the van.

We went as far as the buildings I had seen in the clearing and stopped and got out of the van. We were surrounded by rice fields and just a cluster of buildings, mainly wooden. A gaggle of children gathered round, all seeming curious and excited to see this white stranger. Ruby introduced me to some of them - clearly part of her family. They held out their hands, so I took them politely and shook them - but why did they press Ruby's hand to their foreheads? About two hundred metres to our left were a couple more buildings, one a half-built block/concrete house. Ruby took my hand, and led me down the footpath in that direction. The path became a metre-wide bank between the rice and we headed towards that half-built house, accompanied by some of the children. When we reached that house, there was a wooden plank bridging a water-filled ditch and leading onto the land surrounding the house. There were a number of people there .. about a dozen .. and was ushered into the front porch. More hands were held out, this time Ruby pressed their hands to her forehead, but again I just took them and shook them politely.

Ruby later introduced me to the custom of 'blessing', but was highly amused when I practiced by pressing her hand to my forehead. No-no, she told me, it's a mark of respect to your seniors - the junior person presses the other's hand to the forehead. Okay, but I was much the same age as her parents (in fact, I learned later that I'm older than Ruby's mum), what should I do? I came to the conclusion that, being associated with Ruby, I should show her parents the same respect that she does - this seems to have gone down well!

Hmm, I seem to keep getting distracted from the story! I was introduced to all of these people, but was very confused about who everyone was. Still, I decided that I must focus my attention on her parents - at least I could identify them and Ruby! Now the 'ordeal' began - we sat in the porch and I faced what I can only describe as an inquisition. Who was I, what was my background, what were my intentions towards Ruby? The questions came from her parents, mostly interpreted by Ruby, and about three or four others - clearly older siblings. Clearly, there was a degree of suspicion - understandably so. I was at a loss to know what was expected of me - I kept turning to Ruby for inspiration and guidance, but all she would do was nod and encourage me to 'go on'! I wasn't (and I'm still not) sure whether I was expected, there and then, to commit to marriage. Yet I'd only just met Ruby about three hours previously, and we'd not had an opportunity to talk. I attempted to assure everyone that I was decent, honest and trustworthy, and that I certainly didn't intend to do Ruby any harm. I said that I wanted to use my ten days in Philippines to get to know Ruby a lot better and to explore the possibility of developing our relationship.

By now it was dark, and time to head back to the city. We said our farewells, and Ruby and I, together with Ayong and the driver got back in the van and set off back down the tracks towards the main road. Finally we arrived back at the hotel, Ayong accompanied us to the room, made sure we were okay, and left us. At long last we were together .. alone, but both very tired. We simply hugged each other for some time and laid down on the bed to rest. We talked, we kissed, we hugged, and began the process of 'getting to know each other'. I do not remember, now, whether Ruby later went back to her boarding house that evening, to fetch her things. I think she must have done - unless she'd been carrying her nightclothes around with her during the day. If she did go, I wanted to go with her, but she insisted that I stayed and rested. I was certainly tired! That night, we slept comfortably in each other's arms.

I don't remember what we did about eating on that first day, or the next morning. I guess that we didn't eat much in the evening apart from some of the chocolate I'd brought. The next morning I fancy we went to Greenwich and ate there .. but I really don't have a clear memory of that. However, we spent most of the second day, back at the house - we bought a couple of roasted chickens on the way, to form the basis of the family lunch. I don't even remember whether Ayong came with us again - I think it was the van driver (a different one this time - Uncle Boy) and his wife (Ate Jean).

By now, Ruby and I had become better acquainted - we certainly seemed to get on okay together, I was less tired and feeling more confident about facing the family. I was prepared to assure them that I really could forsee a life-long committment. We had a good day, getting to know each other, and I had a chance to appreciate the wonderful views - the open rice fields, the plantations beyond, and the mountains in the distance. It was remote, it was peaceful, it was beautiful. I really loved it here .. and the family seemed to be warming to me!

However, the big surprise of the day was when we stopped off on the way home so that I could be introduce to an Aunt and Uncle. "This", Ruby said, "is my husband-to-be."! Wow! She is serious! I wasn't sure that I'd actually agreed to this, but I liked the idea! From that point on, I knew that our relationship could only go one way!

[aromulus]

It is all very familiar, except the rice paddies, oh, and change "Greenwich" to "La Laguna" restaurant In Ayala Mall, Cebu.

Very nice and well articulated story.

Sounds like you are well and truly snookered...

I wish you both all the best for the future.

[PeterB]

Thanks Rom!

[joebloggs]

i think parts of what you've said is similar to what most of us went thru.


the 'blessing' you've mentioned i think, this is drummed into the little filipinos soon as they can walk !, i remember my mother in laws grandchildren doing this at around the age of 2 or 3yrs old.

I wasn't put under the spot light, like you, as I had chatted to my now mother in law for years before we meet. After chatting to my now wife for a few months, i said jokingly about getting married, and she told her sister about what i said, i had known her sister even longer than my wife,and her mom heard them talking about getting married, and the next day a got a long email from her mom, about how her daughter was the smallest in her family, also she had been hurt before..etc, i sent her an email back assuring her about all her worries... then we chatted for years.. infact when i first went to the phils it was her mother who i first meet at the airport !!! , my wifes parents are seperated, and so i meet her dad a few days later, we talked , told me about his gun collection, and how is daughter could be 'trouble'


as for the poverty, attached to the back wall of the garden of the house my wife rented was a small shed, an old guy lived there, he must have been in his 60s+, living in what looked like a small garden shed, about 7 ft long and 5ft wide built out of bits of old wood and god knows what. i really felt sorry for him, even then i knew i couldnt support another person thou. my wife told me he lived their for years...

[PeterB]

...a small shed, an old guy lived there, he must have been in his 60s+, living in what looked like a small garden shed, about 7 ft long and 5ft wide built out of bits of old wood and god knows what.

Well, the house that Ruby and her 5 brothers/sisters grew up in was a little bit bigger than that, but Dad built it in one day! In fact, until we complete the new house (hopefully before Christmas - work just re-started last week), it is still the main living and sleeping quarters for 11 people.

[aromulus]

I was also taken aback when, visiting my in-laws the first time, two of the kids grabbed my hand and put it to their forehead.
It felt good, after being told what it meant.

It shows that respect for the elders is still strong and active, something which we are sadly lacking here in the West.

[PeterB]

It shows that respect for the elders is still strong and active, something which we are sadly lacking here in the West.

Indeed! Just one of many reasons why I'll not be sorry to leave the UK!

[uli43]

Peter, please keep on telling -- reading your story, I recognised my own story several times ...

I very much understand your doubts about a sudden decision to marry ... It's very unusual for us Western people. But on the other hand, there is never a guarantee that everything will be right.

With my former wife, we lived together for 2 years before we married. And the result? Unhappiness, and divorce at the end.

I met my future wife only for a week, and I made my decision. A big YES. Whether it's 2 years or one week before you marry -- it's always an adventure, you never know what happens in the future.

The difference for me is that with 43 years I know much better who I am and what I want, and I can appreciate her much more than 20 years ago.

[Alan]

Peter - wonderful - please carry on - I cannot stay here long.

BTW. Isn't it amazing - he built a house in 1 day - about the same time as they knock up a new McDonalds here. Yet they take 500 years to build a crappy new Wembley Stadium.

Al.

[PeterB]

A further installment :

Again, I have no recollection of eating on that second evening - perhaps we were still too tired? Alone again, we continued the process of getting to know each other and slept soundly again. The following morning, Tuesday, Ruby was due to work, but first she had to visit her boarding house to fetch her work clothes. Ruby said that she would go alone, and return to the hotel - perhaps she was ashamed to let me see the conditions in which she was living? I had a reasonable idea of what to expect and persuaded her to allow me to come along.

We took a motor tricycle and went past the Mall where Ruby worked, down a narrow street. We stopped outside a faceless concrete building - in the driveway was a Jeepney being rebuilt. We went up the side and round to the back of the building. Here, there were some outbuildings, a couple of old cars rotting away, and an entrance to the main building. We went in - there was a corridor, the side walls of which were made from hardboard, with five or six doors? There was a table in the corridor and a number of plastic garden chairs. This was the main day area ... where they cooked, ate etc. I was greeted and made very welcome by Ruby's 'boardmates', some of whom I'd already met online. Everywhere, the hosts are very eager to offer the guest the best chair. I sat and exchanged a few words, while Ruby went into her room and changed. I was given some fruit to try - a redish/greenish skin with soft spikes, a little like a conker. However, splitting this skin revealed a soft, sweet, centre around a large seed.

When Ruby had dressed, we set off in search of breakfast - we went to Jollibee and ordered spaghetti and coke! I remember this, because Ruby managed to splash some of the tomato sauce on the front of her white uniform! On subsequent days we breakfasted in the hotel room, dining on mango, bread, jam etc.

When we had finished eating we still had time to spare so we took a tricycle back to the boarding house. This time I managed to sneak a look into Ruby's room. The conditions were within my expectations, but at the lower end! The room was not very big, it was dark, the exterior walls were damp. The interior walls were just the exposed timber members which supported the hardboard which was visible in the corridor. There was one chest of drawers, a makeshift hanging rail across one corner, some open shelves and a double bunk bed roughly constructed from plain timber, with a plain plywood base on which to lie. Ruby shared this room with another girl - hers was the top bunk. There was no mattress, simply a thin reed mat - the sort of thing we would take to the beach.

It was now time to go to work .. three of Ruby's male boardmates and a girlfriend, none of whom were working that morning, accompanied us on the walk back to the Mall. While Ruby went inside, the boardmates acted as my hosts and guardians. We waited outside until the mall opened to the public and then went upstairs to see where Ruby worked. She had responsibility for one display rack, filled with ladies accessories - combs, hair bands, etc. We were able to chat for a while, and I met with her colleagues. Again, I'd previously seen some of them online. They all seemed to be very excited to meet me - everyone was certainly aware of the white stranger. Then my hosts showed me around the rest of the mall. After a little while, Ruby's big sister (Joedy) arrived - she was to be my host for the majority of the day. We looked around the mall some more, popping back to see Ruby and her colleagues from time to time. I was persuaded to buy a souvenir shirt, and managed to find one which said 'Tagum' rather than 'Davao'.

We ate lunch downstairs in the mall - Ruby was able to join us. After lunch Joedy took me ten pin bowling .. neither of us had done this before, but we had a great time. I emerged the winner by a narrow margin but, more importantly, Ruby's sister and I got to know each other a lot better. It felt important that I should develop a rapport with the whole family, and this was a great start! Bowling was energetic, and there was little fresh air in the hall. By the end of the couple of hours I was sweating freely and my t-shirt was soaking. We headed back to the mall where I made use of the restroom to dry myself and change into that new shirt I had bought earlier.

We waited for Ruby to finish work, then met up with her and a couple of her workmates for some refreshments. Joedy went home, Ruby and I went shopping for some fruit, bread, drinks etc, so that we could manage our own breakfast in the hotel room. It was on this evening that I learned the consequences of Ruby taking the day off work on Sunday - her supervisor at the mall required Ruby's employer (based in Manila) to supply an 'excuse' letter. Despite my efforts to persuade Ruby to chase this over the rest of my stay, there were various problems - Ruby sent sms which never received a response, there were reports of a fax machine being out of service, but the outcome was that no letter ever arrived and, later in the week, I wrote out a resignation letter for Ruby to submit. It transpired that all was not well in the job and Joedy had been attempting to persuade Ruby to leave the job for a little while. Ruby's major concern about giving up the job was that she would be unable to repay all her utang. Fortunately I was able to solve that problem later in the week - I didn't want to leave Ruby with financial commitments and no income. That evening, we met up with Honey, Jhie and Ayong for a meal. Arriving back at the hotel later we progressed further with the 'getting to know each other'!

The following morning, because Ruby was not required to report for work, we didn't leap out of bed at the crack of dawn but, when we did stir, Ruby found that she had received an sms to tell her that her brother had 'broken' his shoulder and was in hospital in Tagum - I had visions of a broken collar bone. We breakfasted, showered and dressed and went to the hospital. Here, we found Jonathan hunched up in a wheelchair and mum trying to keep him comfortable. It transpired that he had sneezed the previous evening and dislocated his shoulder - a repetition of an old injury sustained in a motorcycle accident - and had sat like this all night waiting for the transport system to restart in the morning. He was taken for X-ray and while he was in the radiology department Ruby and I sat together in the corridor. We noticed that we were getting a few curious glances, and thought that this was probably because the appearance of a white face in this hospital was rather a rare occurence. It was only after some minutes that we realised that we were sitting opposite the ultrasound room, adn wondered whether the looks we were getting was due to this. I joked that an ultrasound scan just 12 hours after the event was probably a little premature!

I learned a lot about healthcare in the Philippines - it was advised that the retraction of the shoulder should be be carried out under general anesthetic. While 'PhilHealth' would pay for the procedure itself, it would not meet the cost of any of the medication or other medical supplies. Jonathan was prepared to go through the procedure without the anesthetic, but I argued that the doctors would be able to perform the task much more easily and much better if he was anethetised. I collected a prescription from the nurses station - visited the pharmacy where I obtained an invoice for the supplies. This had to be taken to the accounts desk for payment (cash was the only option - no card facilities here), and take the receipt back to the pharmacy for the medication to be released. I then took the supplies back to the nurses' station, where it was 'logged' in to a register. That was the first of three trips I made to the pharmacy, all following the same pattern - subsequent requirements were for strapping plaster and a sling. I also learned that care in the ward was minimal - families camp out in the ward with the patient, sharing the bed and providing all the food and non-medical care (bathing the patient etc).

In the evening we ate out again with Honey, Jhie and Ayong, before going in to the main square of the town, where we watched youngsters playing in the fountains, watched dance troops and generally stood/sat around chatting. Towards the end of the evening I was introduced to the strange delicacy - balut. When told what it was, I have to admit that I refused, but the other four devoured the half-formed chicks with relish!

[Alan]

'OUCH' for the shoulder and 'UGH' for the balut.

Please carry on mate - can't wait for next.

Al.

[aromulus]

Mhhhhhhh....

A lot of "getting to know each other" going on here....

Carry on the good work....

Keep on posting, it is very interesting, one day I might just blog it myself, but for now.....

[theresa]

come on. carry on please. what happen next...

[purplealien]

I am really enjoying the read, please carry on. We are all waiting with bated breath !!!

[theresa]

what happen with the story. please dont keep us hanging. when are you going to give us the next part.

[ritaj0nes]

You got me hooked with this story.. I love reading it.. Awaiting for the next part.. Let us know!!!

[aromulus]

You got me hooked with this story.. I love reading it.. Awaiting for the next part.. Let us know!!!

Probably there will be more of the "getting to know each other".....

I am waiting for the next instalment too....

[andypaul]

great read keep it up