and i second that Aromulus
the libyans at work use to tell me how they are a better person than me, because they are muslims and believe in god,
sure, they lie, smoke drugs, as for catholics they can confess to their wrong doings ....
me, I live by one rule, treat people , as you would like to be treated by them
is sex before marriage so wrong even in a loving relationship?
surely talking about it is important just look at the amount of kids filipinos have when they cant even look after themselfs!and then they find themselfs falling out of love with each other anyway.....mmmmmm maybe talking is important?
[QUOTE=bornatbirth;31447]is sex before marriage so wrong even in a loving relationship?
QUOTE]
a personal matter
for me . . .
yes - it is still wrong . . . and also for my gal . . . we feel the same
we believe that sex belongs to Marriage and that marriage belongs to an official lifelong commitment!
but im not judging anyone.
you make your bed and i'll make mine
oh yes, and i do think talking about it is ESSENTIAL
tom
Thats because its immoral to use condoms!!just look at the amount of kids filipinos have when they cant even look after themselfs!
"love-making" is very important to our marriage. It's not referred to "needs" but a part to make our relationship lasting & strong. No matter if we are tired in the end of the day or we just have an argument, lover's quarrel or "tampo"...we still ended doing it.
...& now we are here in Cagayan de Oro, all my family & relatives are talking about when are we going to have a baby & it makes my husband embarass for he thinks he's old for that...& i always tell him the other purpose of marriage aside from loving each other is pro-creation...
mabuhay!!!
Louella
Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans... - John Lennon
how`s cagayan de oro t lou?hope you not forget to bring me some green manggo.
to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...
Well, I guess that I'm going to be considered to be totally immoral! :(
But let me start by saying that Ruby and I both have a strong Christian faith and neither of us feels that God condemns us for our actions. Indeed, we recognise the hand of God at work in bringing us together - we know that it is His will!
We met, we talked, we knew that we had a good relationship, and we made the decision that we wish to have a family .. and God blessed us. Unfortunately we are not in a position where we can be officially married just yet.
Thirty years ago, I probably wouldn't have done this (well, I didn't), but I'm beginning to feel that time is running out, and want to make the most of my 'second chance'!
PS .. the baby in the photo is not hers, it's not mine, it's Ruby's cousin!
Good discussion. There is a tendency in the West to see sex as pure egoistic pleasure, performed with an interchangable object ... not as an act of very intime and private communication between two lovers.
What is embarassing is that the West sees its perspective on sexuality as "progressive", and sees conservative countries like the Philippines as backward - not as something that has an equal value.
As somebody said here before, it's the difference between sex and making love. Freedom means that people can make their choices between both. Not to be pressed to follow either modell.
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
Paul McCartney.
[QUOTE=joebloggs;31238]sex before marriage immoral ?
what about people who never marry ? my sister has 2 kids, been with the same guy for 26 years, longer than most marriages last ,
Joe, Im a little curious.....why would a couple living together for 26 years didnt ever think of sanctifying their togetherness into marriage? Me, being a filipina always believe in the sanctity of marriage...not for the reason that Im a Catholic....but I believe that a blessed marriage is just better than not blessed at all....When I said "blessed" I mean blessed by the church. Oh pls, dont get me wrong ok....I know there is that so called "living together contract" in Europe but I always wonder what stopping the couple from marrying each other if they have been living and loving each other for quite some time (lots of years for that matter)?
me just curious
Intersting that you say that Les_lady! I know of several couples who have lived together, in 'sin', for many years, and been perfectly happy. So happy, in fact that they do then 'tie the knot'. Within two or three years of the wedding, they then separate.
For our part, Ruby and I enjoy the 'love making' as just one part of our relationship. We thank God that He has blessed us already, and we move forward with our plans to marry in April.
not just my sister, my older brother has been with the same g/f for more than 20 years, and they are not married. live in sin ? i suppose thats if you believe in god. there are bigger sins than not being married !.
its the way you've been brought up and conditioned thru your life. me, my sister and brothers, went to church of england schools. my mother was a jehovah wittness, and our father was catholic, so you see i don't think any of us believe in god.. , so its opened our minds, and if you believe in god thats up to you, and if you think i'm going to for not believing, but you could believe and pray to god every day, but wrong others and you will goto heaven or paradise, then i'll take the .
christian or not, i still have morals and obey the laws of the land, and probably more so than your average church going christian...
the lyrics from the song 'god only knows' by the manc band james says it all
You may say I am cynical, but I say man is flawed
He has a vague memory of before some fall
Behaving like a reptile, but talks of walking tall
If god is in his image, the almighty must be small
God only knows
Swaggart has been caught with his trousers round his knees
After damning me and you to hell for eternity
Sex and power and money is the prayer of these priests
They bribe their way past heaven's gates and steal a set of keys
God only knows
My guru has been sleeping with adepts and with sheep
While I was celibate, self-righteous in belief
Yesterday he was god, now he is a creep
We fell upon each other starving for belief
God only knows
I speak in the name of god
I speak in the name of that
white haired old man in the clouds
Always a man
Dispensing lightening justice from his fingertips
Watching you every second of the day
Just waiting for you to up
I speak in the name of God
I'm his intermediary
I'm a Mollah, I'm a Priest, I'm a Vicar
If you want to go to God
You have to come through me
Is heaven full, oh lord, of these babbling preachers and
God-fearing biggots
All these sef-rightious, self-appointed prophets
because if so:-
I know where I'd rather be
Away from this cacophony
Away from this cacophony
God only knows
God only knows
God only knows
i think that if you really love someone then i still believe there is something about committing yourself to marrying that person,if your girlfriend would be even happier if you were to get married then why not.there is something very special about it and if you have found the one you want to be with forever-why not do it . yes some people live together get married then split up,but my guess they would have split up anyway,the act of getting married does not mean your going to split up, there has to be other reasons for this.maybe some couples whos love is on the wane get married hoping it will strengthen their love,but if there were doubts before or problems getting married aint gona fix it.i for one would love to see my girls face as she walks into church,knowing shes made my dream come true,then i'm sure going to make hers come true.its a special occassion for all,you ,your girlfriend and the familys. i for one think its worth it.
[QUOTE]Well said darling...
Yes, it is true that "sex" is kind of a sensitive topic for pinays to talk about. Men even pinoys can easily talk about it and even feel proud and brag about their so called sexual "conquest"...but typical conservative filipinos see the subject as something really private.
I think making love before marriage is subjective. It doesn't have to do with religion nor with the social trend. It has something to do with one's sense of maturity...with how one views "sex", of love, and of the other person. If both truly love each other then "sex" is an expression of love, of expressing the other how much u need and want him/her. I believe that will always be part of marriage....but I also understand that for some, it is a pre-requisite for a lasting marriage...but I think even without it if one truly loves and is committed to the other then marriage will always be beautiful and meant to last.
Living in "sin"?? Nah! He who has not sinned be the one to cast the first stone!
That's just another one of the bits that the religious and self righteous conveniently forget.Living in "sin"?? Nah! He who has not sinned be the one to cast the first stone!
Don't get me wrong..
I believe in God.
of course sex is very important in a relationship...but you can do it for the right time...with respect on its other,am i right?
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good question...
Of course, Cassie!
For some, I'm sure that the 'right time' is after the ceremony, when they have a little piece of paper to prove their committment.
For others, the 'right time' may be when they are sure of their committment to one another, and to God, irrespective of formal documentary proof.
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