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Thread: question to filipinas about s.e.x.

  1. #1
    Member petti's Avatar
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    question to filipinas about s.e.x.

    Hello
    I wonder why some filipinas dont value sex so mutch in a relationship.
    I guess this does not goes for all, but mostly a filipina from a catholic community are very modest, in that area. Or am i wrong??

    I wonder if some of you could educate me, in the way most woman are raised up..... if you dear


  2. #2
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    Its a topic but anyway my view to that question is that because we lived in a very reserved country that its awkward or taboo to talk about that matters but i think its too different nowadays.If you grew up in a very conservative family and when talking about sex is a big NO NO so you grew up with less interest about sex because you`ve not been brought up or educated about sex.I know its sounds funny tell me who`s parents in PI educate their children about sex?but know what my mother did when we reach the age of 20`s and I used to laughed at her because I was so uneasy,uncomfortable dealing with that stuff.but I think it helps.and about the stuff of bringing sex education in school I am very happy with that because it helps kids somehow on not experimenting sex.and also,religion in our country plays an important role it is completely wrong if you`re having sex before marriage and somehow also thats the reason why some filipina`s as you said dont value sex,have you heard a priest educating people about sexBut I think in my opinion majority of filipina value sexsorry guys if i say somethingsex is a very important matter in marriage.look who`s talking but I`ve got a problem with that as welll its not as as beforehope hubby will not read this
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


  3. #3
    Member petti's Avatar
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    Thank you mrs daddy.. im shure your husband will forgive you.
    I guess its very important to try and understand this matters, as it is very important for westerns, and to keep a good life in marrige.


  4. #4
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    This is a very valid and valuable thread because sex is a big part of any marriage/relationship. Although i do not agree with most mens `need` for sex - i also know that it is very important if a relationship is going to work.
    A couple of years ago my 4 year relationship ended because my then GF simply did not want sex anymore - this made her very nervous when i touched her in any way and it was frustrating for me because i really wanted to touch her. I did not need or demand actual sex and i would have been happy for us to stay together with me simply touching her, but she said this was not right so we seperated.
    I think i am trying to say (and knowing this from experience) that sexual contact is important, but actual sex is not necessary - unless you want kids of course


  5. #5
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    Yes......

    Sex is an integral part of any loving relationship.
    It doesn't matter how strong the feelings might be, sex is the cement that binds and unifies two people.

    The best feelings are shown when it happens spontaneously, without pre-planning.

    And not as a matter of routine.

    As and when the mood takes the both of you, being mindful of where you are, at that particular moment, of course....

    It is an expression of commitment, love, respect, and as such, you cannot be selfish and just think about your "needs"...

    Most Filipinas don't talk about sex, I believe.

    It is not something that is discussed within the family circle, and the Church doesn't help much in that respect... unless you are an altar boy....

    Here in the west, things are different... and the 60ies have got lots to answer for....
    Sex education is taught in school, to the point where the Authorities do give free condoms and counsel for abortions to teen-agers without the parents knowledge or consent...
    Sex before marriage is the norm... With as many people as possible. Morality is non-existent.

    The media keeps hammering in us what the "celebrities" are up to all the time, what they wear or don't... Who they sh*****g this week, what goes up their noses and up their ... reality TV is nothing else than a load of rubbish, but the gullible spend a quid every time they phone in...

    Children fashion, today, shows that innocence does not exist anymore or not encouraged. Bra's for ten year olds...???

    Just lets be happy that Filipino culture still believes in family values, real love, and respect for each other.

    Unfortunately I still tend to open the doors for ladies, send flowers, and all that mushy blarney... Yes I am relic from another era....


  6. #6
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    You are not alone in the mushy stuff - i still believe in Chivelry, love and romance. There is nothing wrong with being polite and curteous. I believe in tequality between men and women, but still count on openeing doors etc.


  7. #7
    Respected Member Ping's Avatar
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    Sex before marriage is imoral.A relationship base on sex will not last long.Sex is tne union of two poeples body and spirit who love and commited each other for life. It is not for sexual gratification like what happen to the new generation especially the western culture .It is part of the good moral values and self respect and decipline.
    Regards,

    Ping


  8. #8
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    what more can i say,ate ping is right!
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


  9. #9
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    sex before marriage immoral ?
    what about people who never marry ? my sister has 2 kids, been with the same guy for 26 years, longer than most marriages last , to some people marriage is just a bit of paper..

    for me, who doesn't believe in god, can it be immoral


  10. #10
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    talks on sex makes a woman feel uncomfortable. And yes, it's because Filipinos don't talk about the topic. People do it, but no talk about it. What happens in the bed room stays in the bedroom and is not discussed.
    Very contradicting with Westerners who can talk about anything about it freely.
    But what if your Pinay wife says she feels uncomfortable about the topic, should u insist she has to get over it coz she married a Westerner and has to accept it? I think accepting is different from going into the cycle. I mean, hubby can talk about it.. I accept that.. but don't force me to talk about it.. and you should accept i simply won't talk..

    Am I making any sense here?? ?


  11. #11
    Member petti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jken View Post
    talks on sex makes a woman feel uncomfortable. And yes, it's because Filipinos don't talk about the topic. People do it, but no talk about it. What happens in the bed room stays in the bedroom and is not discussed.
    Very contradicting with Westerners who can talk about anything about it freely.
    But what if your Pinay wife says she feels uncomfortable about the topic, should u insist she has to get over it coz she married a Westerner and has to accept it? I think accepting is different from going into the cycle. I mean, hubby can talk about it.. I accept that.. but don't force me to talk about it.. and you should accept i simply won't talk..

    Am I making any sense here?? ?
    Yes you do, and i understand you statement.
    So what if.... a filipina or any like to have sex a little then, but something doesent feel right in the bed. Can something be done to improove the joy, by talking about it?? Hehe i will not go in details, ya all know the differencies, and how your self are doing. Or shold it just be keept quiet, and suffer?

    OK.... so its like this.... IN GENERAL, NOT ALL OK?
    A "person" that have a restrict relationship to sex, and have been tougt that sex is boo, boo, stay away, no talk. Will have difficulties sometimes to get the full plessure....like orgasm. This because persons with too mutch respect for sex cannot fully relax. It would be almost the same for a westener to have sex with Al Qaida....


  12. #12
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Two points here:

    Without 'sex' none of us would be here.

    In a serious relationship surely we should refer to it as 'making love?'

    Al


  13. #13
    Member petti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ping View Post
    Sex before marriage is imoral.A relationship base on sex will not last long.Sex is tne union of two poeples body and spirit who love and commited each other for life. It is not for sexual gratification like what happen to the new generation especially the western culture .It is part of the good moral values and self respect and decipline.
    Yeeeezz. Very good point!
    Sex before marrige is imoral, and many choose nowdays not do follow that.
    If i would have find me a filippina hwo have not before been marryed, i would respect that statement.

    How about breaking marrige. I for one have one previous marrige and so does my GF, to my wallets big challenge. Should one still wait? ... i mean the one moral ruins for another. I guess one cannot have sex with someone who is till marryed i guess....


  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    Two points here:

    Without 'sex' none of us would be here.

    In a serious relationship surely we should refer to it as 'making love?'

    Al

    Good point! ;-) mutch better word.
    Short thinking from my side ....sex = making love.


  15. #15
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    You are all right! - it is refreshing to see that all on here have a respect for women that is sadly missing in most of the worlds population.


  16. #16
    Member petti's Avatar
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    My thinking also when i started this debate/thred, was also another very senitive thing. Men are men, and some sorry guys are not so tolerant as they shuold be. Some just dont deserve the beutyful thing as a filippina.
    Some/many woman are very unfortenate to end up in chrisis centre and sutch. Could this be one reason of so many faulties?

    OK dont missunderstand me here now.
    My post was just made in the best intetions, so im sorry if i offend someone now.


  17. #17
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Petti - I understand and agree with you. ANY exploitation of women no matter whether they are filipinas or from anywhere in the world is WRONG!

    I think Mark has just said a very true thing - I think that all the men on this site (I hope) have a true respect for ladies.

    I said in a thread some time ago that there was a bloke who was around about 2,000 years ago who told people to be nice to each other - they crucified him?!?!?!?!?! Look at the world now.

    Let's make this site something the world can be proud of.

    Al.


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    i, like many people here, believe that sex before marriage, or outside of marriage is wrong. I tried to defend it for so long, but i think that sociologically, and of course spiritually, it makes sense to save sex - or lovemaking - for the marriage covenant and contract. I think that if someone is afraid to get married, then why be with the other person for so long? People are terrified of having any sort of legal bond to someone else :( sad

    anyway, about filpinas talking about sex or not, all i can say is Mar and I have chatted very candidly about our expectations for lovemaking -- for when we have married. We have already come to an agreement in our beliefs and our desires in that regard

    now we just got to wait for the minister or judge to say "you may now kiss the bride"


    tom


  19. #19
    Member petti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigtombowski View Post
    now we just got to wait for the minister or judge to say "you may now kiss the bride"
    tom
    Amen!


  20. #20
    Member petti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    Let's make this site something the world can be proud of.
    Al.
    Amen again :-)


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    Good to see Chivelry is not dead!
    Waiting for the right time is the ultimate sign of respect - it shows you care more for the girl than you do for yourself which is LOVE.
    I like many western men have been married before, and this does make you a little nervous about doing it again, but I also believe the beauty and innocence of Filipina`s is worth the effort and waiting.
    In fact - this is probably why it is looking like most of the blokes on here think the same way - and it is this respect for love, romance and women generally that leads us down the Filipina (and marriage) path.


  22. #22
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    Ohhh - I`m filling up now! - someone pass me a tissue!


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by barnsley-mark View Post

    Ohhh - I`m filling up now! - someone pass me a tissue!
    Oh god man! i cannot fin u a tissue.... how a bout a dryer?

    ...have been following your story there...so best wishes to you!


  24. #24
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    wow, mark, you are a really nice sensitive guy
    please get married to one of my gf's friends LoL!


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    Quote Originally Posted by barnsley-mark View Post
    Good to see Chivelry is not dead!
    Waiting for the right time is the ultimate sign of respect - it shows you care more for the girl than you do for yourself which is LOVE.
    I like many western men have been married before, and this does make you a little nervous about doing it again, but I also believe the beauty and innocence of Filipina`s is worth the effort and waiting.
    In fact - this is probably why it is looking like most of the blokes on here think the same way - and it is this respect for love, romance and women generally that leads us down the Filipina (and marriage) path.
    i just want to say that i think that is beautiful
    tom


  26. #26
    Respected Member Ping's Avatar
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    Of course marriage people talk about their sexual relationship not to broadcast it.Its only for the two people who love each other very much with total understanding about the real meaning and total commitments and responsibility.Thats why we call it love making not sex. Sex is a total lust and for sexual gratification. Mostly men can have sex to evry woman they call it fancy, and thats sexual gratification.Thats why the marriage will not last long because it was purely base on sex. Marriage life is forever.
    Regards,

    Ping


  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigtombowski View Post
    i just want to say that i think that is beautiful
    tom
    I think one of the main reasons I keep coming back to view this site is because there are so many people who share the same morale values as myself. When I go out for an evening with friends and colleagues from work and the guys start bragging about sexual conquests and what goes on behind closed doors I always find I'm asking myself WHY? It just seems to be the way of our culture today and I find it quite sad.
    I'm certainly don't consider myself to be a prude, but what goes on in a loving relationship is only the concerns of the two people involved.

    I'm finding it quite refreshing to find that there are still people out there who find love, honesty, commitment, and respect far more important than adding another notch on the bed post.


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    great to hear your words Zef, and i hope you got my PM. because i know someone who would really like to meet you!

    It is very rare that i find people who have the same moral and sexual ethics and values that i have so
    MORE POWER PING and Mrs Daddy
    and
    i hope to hear from you soon zef

    lovemaking is for those who are serious with each other in their love
    if you're serious in your love, what reason to not get married di ba?!


  29. #29
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    Oh god man! i cannot fin u a tissue....
    Not the best of comments for a thread on sex!!
    Keith - Administrator


  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    Not the best of comments for a thread on sex!!
    Use the duvet cover....


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