I do understand, but if family are so bothered what outsiders think, don't worry about it. Also if they are bothered what their friends think, they are not your friends really are they? I've got a family who are the strangest people I've ever had to put up with.
After leaving home at a very young age to work away, I was the one who always contacted my family either by travelling a long way or calling them and after many years of doing this I realised they never contacted me. So I stopped visiting and calling and it was twenty years before any family member contacted me.
It's true what they say, You can choose your friends but not your relations!