Help understanding my gf and also am i being naive?

[gWaPito]

Yes i realize that but what happens when the money runs out

I think spending too much pera on any gf is only going to lead to problems later on

Excellent post LM....wise words indeed.
I've sent you a rep for this.

[bigmac]

Originally Posted by bigmac
wots a curry pot?
... y'mean kuripot? Think "skinflint" or "tight-wad".

superb--fits me to a T. how do i change my username?

[John.C]

What an interesting thread!
Here is what I have learned about Relationships with Filipino women + Money. It is not very much....

1. If your capacity for Empathy is above average - think carefully about what you are getting into.
2. Sometimes the person back home who is sick or dying does exist.
3. A Filipino woman who is sending half of her pitiful wage home and never has any food in the fridge is not a "scammer" even if she directly asks you for money. A scammer is a person inventing financial problems to extort money...
4. Everything. And I mean Everything....is complicated.

[Michael Parnham]

Yeah she said she will get photos. If she cant get a camera herself then her friend will take photos.

Theres a good chance i will be working within a month and i definately want to help herl rent her own place (living conditions at home not good) ive researched average rent pcm around 3500 so i am happy to help in that regard. maybe also get her another phone where skype works ok because right now i have to pay a skype sub to philippines to be able to phone her mobile in PI. She only has a netbook which is pretty slow.

I'll tell you now Jello, she'll be just right for you I'm sure, Good luck for the future!

[grahamw48]

Some good posts with good advice.

[gWaPito]

I'll tell you now Jello, she'll be just right for you I'm sure, Good luck for the future!

Good advice indeed Graham. ..Okay, I'm not the ideal candidate for dishing out advice about relationships ...even so, I would advise, keep your wits about you and trust your gut instinct.

Good luck

[London_Manila]

Excellent post LM....wise words indeed.
I've sent you a rep for this.

I have seen some guys throwing money at their gf's and buying them anything that they ask for
When the money dries up these guys wonder why the gf walks away

You cant buy true love but that don't stop some people trying..........

[London_Manila]

Originally Posted by bigmac
wots a curry pot?
... y'mean kuripot? Think "skinflint" or "tight-wad".

superb--fits me to a T. how do i change my username?

Start how you mean to carry on

[London_Manila]

There are alternatives to Skype if she has wifi or internet at home that are free. I use Viber to talk to my wife in Phils as well as WeChat and WhatsApp

At this stage though I feel you are going too far to look after her by renting a place for her. Remember her living conditions are not the same as ours and what you see as maybe crowded or not private are normal. Example, even at my home, everyone sleeps together on a large sponge mattress in the living room. (when I am not home of course) and I have done the same when staying with family. Please consider everything before you make a rod for your own back, because once you start... there is no turning back.

Viber is great free texts to the Philippines all day long

[Steve.r]

Also an hour of talking via Viber is about 8MB of data.

[sars_notd_virus]

Sorry i have not been around. My laptop is broke right now so im using my phone for the internet.

Ok we managed to speak on the phone (skype) and she says she was feeling insecure and because of the long distance between us. I have to say i have had previous girlfriends who were totally batshit nuts so these kinds of antics dont really phase me. I have to remember that we have been communicating mainly via txt by yahoo messenger (my laptop broke atm) so misunderstandings happen. Also we get on great in person. Once i get sorted financially i am planning to visit her for longer in PI later this year (max of 21 days without visa i think yeah)

Also she does have troubles that make her life hard (family stuff) she shares with me. I know i said before she asked me to help her with money for college but she was desperate as she isnt sure she will be able to continue her studies. She has to pay her fees for the next semester which starts very soon. I have asked her to try negotiate paying in installments. So i will find out next week how that goes. She told me the other day she was txted by a professor at her college asking her where she was and she wasnt sure how to answer because she doesnt want to disclose the money problems she has in paying fees (feeling ashamed). So possibly it was last week her fees were due and college started last week. AMA College in Dasmarinas.

As always i am careful but i trust her. I will find out the latest when she comes back from a trip she took this weekend (to a spiritual youth camp thing in Zambales)

thank you for the update Jello,
Trust is a good sign in any relationship, keep it going and good luck for the future.

[gWaPito]

I have seen some guys throwing money at their gf's and buying them anything that they ask for
When the money dries up these guys wonder why the gf walks away

You cant buy true love but that don't stop some people trying..........

Thanks LM,
Forgive me here but, slightly off topic. .the the Filipino partner doesn't always wait until the money runs out before they depart.
For example, they come over here thinking life's in the west going to be a whole lot better than in The Philippines in most cases, things are but, a few can't make that adjustment. .the realisation that the money is actually worked hard for. ..they witness first hand what the husband/wife has to do, to make things happen.
A very small minority can't stomach it. Some realise it was a whole bunch easier staying at home in The Philippines, in the warm sunshine, thinking about one's naval, while waiting for the next 10 digit text message.

It's a shame the 2 countries couldn't get together and work out a way of better of familiarisation before the partner makes that life changing step.

This is not a broad brush statement. ..many integrate successfully.

I would also suggest, the guys and girls over here just to take care on who they choose to date. ..just like Jelo.

Cheers
Mark

[Ako Si Jamie]

I'm amazed out how many foreigners not just from the Philippines think we're all rich. If we were, the country wouldn't function properly as most people wouldn't need or want to work. Who would bake your bread in the morning? Who would collect your dustbins?

[grahamw48]

Orphan Filipinas who have no interest in fit young men, mobile phones, junk food, or a healthy bank balance seem to be getting harder to find.

[gWaPito]

Orphan Filipinas who have no interest in fit young men, mobile phones, junk food, or a healthy bank balance seem to be getting harder to find.

Hahaha I'm glad you said that. ..If it had been me, I would of been cursed to Kingdom come

Btw. ..why the healthy bank balance, it's their to be spent, who cares about tomorrow or even the car going wrong. ..like holding sand in one's hand.

[grahamw48]

Meaning that YOU are required by THEM to have a healthy bank balance...normally.

All tongue in cheek obviously, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist.

[grahamw48]

My lady says she's happy that I'm old, ugly, potless and crap in bed...which is just as well really.



Oh, and thanks Mark.

[gWaPito]

My lady says she's happy that I'm old, ugly, potless and crap in bed...which is just as well really.



Oh, and thanks Mark.

You are so funny!
I sent you a PM. ...no need to reply.

Cheers

No knickers in a twist either

Many a year since I've heard that one.

[London_Manila]

Thanks LM,
Forgive me here but, slightly off topic. .the the Filipino partner doesn't always wait until the money runs out before they depart.
For example, they come over here thinking life's in the west going to be a whole lot better than in The Philippines in most cases, things are but, a few can't make that adjustment. .the realisation that the money is actually worked hard for. ..they witness first hand what the husband/wife has to do, to make things happen.
A very small minority can't stomach it. Some realise it was a whole bunch easier staying at home in The Philippines, in the warm sunshine, thinking about one's naval, while waiting for the next 10 digit text message.

It's a shame the 2 countries couldn't get together and work out a way of better of familiarisation before the partner makes that life changing step.

This is not a broad brush statement. ..many integrate successfully.

I would also suggest, the guys and girls over here just to take care on who they choose to date. ..just like Jelo.

Cheers
Mark

Every person i meet in the Philippines wants to leave the philippines
I stated this before and was flamed for saying it
apparently some uncle somewhere is happy to stay there......
anyway i always tell them that things are not so bad in the philippines and life in the west is no cakewalk
some of them have rich distant relatives in some far away land who has made pot fulls of money
its not like that for everyone i tell them
Most are very shocked when i inform them that i work 13 days out of 14
I get the impression that some people in the Phills think that life in the west is like an episode of the American sitcom "friends" where nobody goes to work and everyone sits around laughing and joking all day
i think this is very much a case of the grass is always greener on the other side

Yes i know there is a lot of poverty in the Philippines and finding work is not easy either
But living your life on some crime ridden English council estate is not so great as well

[Steve.r]

But living your life on some crime ridden English council estate is not so great as well

I really have been watching too much Jeremy Kyle recently on catch up tv lol..... but i agree with you.

[gWaPito]

Every person i meet in the Philippines wants to leave the philippines
I stated this before and was flamed for saying it
apparently some uncle somewhere is happy to stay there......
anyway i always tell them that things are not so bad in the philippines and life is the west is no cakewalk
some of them have rich distant relatives in some far away land who has made pot fulls of money
its not like that for everyone i tell them
Most are very shocked when i inform them that i work 13 days out of 14
I get the impression that some people in the Phills think that life in the west is like an episode of the American sitcom "friends" where nobody goes to work and everyone sits around laughing and joking all day
i think this is very much a case of the grass is always greener on the other side

Yes i know there is a lot of poverty in the Philippines and finding work is not easy either
But living your life on some crime ridden English council estate is not so great as well

I enjoyed your last two sentences LM. I sure that was for the sensitive amongst us

Finding worthwhile employment in the Philippines is nigh on impossible. .unless you happen to know somebody who knows somebody.
My Father in Law worked in the middle east for the same rate of pay he would of got doing the same job in his homeland, The Philippines. Here in UK folks won't leave there hometown to improve their lot, let alone seek employment.

Not sure about crime ridden council estates ...I'll agree with Steve. .
....too much Jeremy Kyle!

[stevewool]

work hard and long and save all your cash and move to where you think you will be safe and sort of well off with what cash you have, will it be here or somewhere else, who knows its down to each and everyone of us, for the last 3 years its been the phils for me to finnish of my living but with another five years working left who knows what may happen in that time

[London_Manila]

work hard and long and save all your cash and move to where you think you will be safe and sort of well off with what cash you have, will it be here or somewhere else, who knows its down to each and everyone of us, for the last 3 years its been the phils for me to finnish of my living but with another five years working left who knows what may happen in that time

Yes sounds like a great plan, apart from free medical care i think this country has little to offer now
Even the benefits system here is not what it used to be (never used any of it)
With more and more people living in London i have become jaded with London
Its too crowded and i intend to leave this place when i have saved enough money

I like Makati and i will probably end up there in a rented condo........

[gWaPito]

Yes sounds like a great plan, apart from free medical care i think this country has little to offer now
Even the benefits system here is not what it used to be (never used any of it)
With more and more people living in London i have become jaded with London
Its too crowded and i intend to leave this place when i have saved enough money

I like Makati and i will probably end up there in a rented condo........

Excellent idea LM. ..good to have a nice base while busily doin you little bit increasing the Philippine population. ..nice work if you can get it.

[purple]

this is interesting thread.. as for Jello.. keep communicating with her, talk things through about being supportive with each other, and be strong because LDR is not easy.. as most of us here have been through or still is in that phase.

explain to her that life in PI is easier than living here. I said that because in PI if you don't have anything to eat.. you just pop in to your friends or relatives house you can have something to eat.

I agree with what the respectable members here had to say, all in all, only you who can do the better judgement in assessing your relationship with your gf.

If I may ask, what work does she do?

I remember that I was working hard while going to college.. because my kuripot stepfather wants me to work. And I did sell credit cards with some agency that was 16 years ago when I started. And believe it or not I made between 9,000-25,000 a month, then I did sell insurance and got myself into real estate, MLM and call centre.

I must say, I had much better life in PI.. the lifestyle, travels, friends and family.
But I'm not complaining.. I married the best man in the world. Even though my hands are getting rough from doing house works etc because we cannot afford a maid.

I'm sure rayna here would agree with me.

[grahamw48]

That's interesting reading purple....and should hopefully give some prospective boyfriends/husbands food for thought.

I'm giving you some rep for that.

[gWaPito]

[raynaputi]

this is interesting thread.. as for Jello.. keep communicating with her, talk things through about being supportive with each other, and be strong because LDR is not easy.. as most of us here have been through or still is in that phase.

explain to her that life in PI is easier than living here. I said that because in PI if you don't have anything to eat.. you just pop in to your friends or relatives house you can have something to eat.

I agree with what the respectable members here had to say, all in all, only you who can do the better judgement in assessing your relationship with your gf.

If I may ask, what work does she do?

I remember that I was working hard while going to college.. because my kuripot stepfather wants me to work. And I did sell credit cards with some agency that was 16 years ago when I started. And believe it or not I made between 9,000-25,000 a month, then I did sell insurance and got myself into real estate, MLM and call centre.

I must say, I had much better life in PI.. the lifestyle, travels, friends and family.
But I'm not complaining.. I married the best man in the world. Even though my hands are getting rough from doing house works etc because we cannot afford a maid.

I'm sure rayna here would agree with me.

I do agree with you purple..

[malditako]

Orphan Filipinas who have no interest in fit young men, mobile phones, junk food, or a healthy bank balance seem to be getting harder to find.

you couldn't find one lol

[grahamw48]

you couldn't find one lol

True, but I am truly blessed in finding my sweet and humble Filipina.

I just hope that she will forgive me for my deceit when she finds out that really I'm a 'secret millionaire', with a business empire and homes in three countries.