Help understanding my gf and also am i being naive?

[beejudge73]

Hi Beejudge..Welcome to the friendly FilipinoUk forum.

Unfortunately I'm taking issue with your post. ;-)

You say it's acceptable for his girlfriend to be like she is because he didn't give into her demand.

You also say she is probably like she is because of life's difficulties. ..Hello! ..we have difficulties here as well. ..that doesn't turn the majority into nutters.

You state that the boyfriend should adapt to the culture of the girlfriend. .I beg to differ. ..they should both adapt to each others culture. ..you see, it's not all about the gf...it's a two way street.

Mutual respect to be shown by both parties. You mention arguments make couples stronger, absolutely. .I totally agree but, it can also hasten the demise of a relationship built upon a halo halo.

Perhaps the boyfriend should of gone for a girlfriend in a higher social bracket, the trouble being, those types are somewhat thin on the ground.

Even so, I'm sending you a rep for your honest contribution.

Cheers
Mark

thank you for welcoming me Mark! oh I stand corrected my statement was a bit confusing.. what I was trying to say was MAYBE the gf behaved that way because her demands wasn't given! which absolutely unbecoming! Therefore I say its not acceptable to be like what she is.

"life's difficulties" all people of all races undergo life's difficulties what i am trying to emphasize is before he will think of ending up maybe he has to weigh things first or talk why she acted that way. the girl could do as well if the guy is acting the same. Communication!

i would say the same as you said, Both! that is why is said deal with different culture. I mean is both will do. This time he is confused, so he must consider taking a look at this end.

by the way , I am not in the side of the girl what the girl had shown was pretty much unbecoming but again I cant judge her at the end of the day its still the guy who will make a decision.
and agree with you.."mutual respect to be shown by both parties"

I appreciate your reply Mark

Cheers!

[gWaPito]

Beejudge73....I appreciate the appreciation. That's sure been in short supply. Thanks

[bhem_bhem]

He wasn't being tight just safeguarding himself, making sure you wanted him for him and not for what he could provide.

Very wise man.

he didn't do it to test me, it was actually me who test him.

you see, i'm kinda weird woman, i like scaring a man off instead of impressing him. my hubby has no idea of the reputation of asians so i told him that some asians are desperate to stay here that they pretend they love their boyfriend to lure him to marry her ( i told him this few days after he found out that my visa is about to expire and i'm struggling to get a new one). i intentionally scare him by saying that i have massive loan from the bank and that i have a big family who needs supporting which will be a responsibility of my future husband..

i always do this to men who shows interest at me and guess what all of them run miles away from me except my hubby.

my hubby told me that it did scare him but somehow he felt that he can trust me so he still marries me..

[grahamw48]

Have you shown him the letter from the Bailiffs yet...and that big mansion you've had built in the Phils ?

[Michael Parnham]

thank you for welcoming me Mark! oh I stand corrected my statement was a bit confusing.. what I was trying to say was MAYBE the gf behaved that way because her demands wasn't given! which absolutely unbecoming! Therefore I say its not acceptable to be like what she is.

"life's difficulties" all people of all races undergo life's difficulties what i am trying to emphasize is before he will think of ending up maybe he has to weigh things first or talk why she acted that way. the girl could do as well if the guy is acting the same. Communication!

i would say the same as you said, Both! that is why is said deal with different culture. I mean is both will do. This time he is confused, so he must consider taking a look at this end.

by the way , I am not in the side of the girl what the girl had shown was pretty much unbecoming but again I cant judge her at the end of the day its still the guy who will make a decision.
and agree with you.."mutual respect to be shown by both parties"

I appreciate your reply Mark

Cheers!

I agree with you Beejudge, also Jello hasn't said any more recently, where is he?

[London_Manila]

i tell u what filipina ladies are always impress with a guy who's ready to spend on them no matter if you are a foreigner or just simply a filipino guy. We do love "galante" men than kuripot ones. Trust me its a fact .

Yes i realize that but what happens when the money runs out

I think spending too much pera on any gf is only going to lead to problems later on

[London_Manila]

Jello. ..as a couple have just said ' this is typical Filipina behaviour' I beg to differ. ..more than likely the behaviour of someone with a personality disorder. My advice is to run. ..skip the dumping bit. ..change your phone numbers and set up new email accounts.
Good luck

Steve R....I sent you a rep for your last post here. ..unfortunately the rep was sent before I cld complete my comment

I'm really happy to see all is working out for you.

Good advice

From this guys postings its easy to see that his young lady is just acting like a spoilt brat
Using her temper tantrums to try and control him with added silly remarks
Why should he hang around for more abuse and i am sure it would not be so difficult to find a replacement

[London_Manila]

the first issue is about the money for the university few days or weeks after she was too demanding and easily became insensitive... isn't it because you didn't give what she wants? if you have given her favor do you think she wont just react that way? yes she is childish but sometimes a university student can be very mature esp if she undergoes difficulties in life. I could see that your gf is a working student usually working students are the most mature young people here in PI. You could just end up into saying I need to think for this relationship but don't you also thought of understanding him because she might be undergoing difficulties, you can tell that because u have met her here, having arguments sometimes would be a better way to get to know each other I have proven that to my husband we have sometimes petty arguments but I tell you from there we become more mature and see our weak points, or consider your age gap, language barriers. We Filipinos knows English (of course not everybody) but it doesn't mean we could have the same level as the native speakers do (English men) How can you establish a relationship if you would easily give up? maybe its just a matter of how to deal with different culture and background. You like other race so be prepared teach her how to be mature, to be sensitive rather than being tactless Or when things wont really work out with you and her next time try not to get a college level, lol at least somebody who has a career or whoever they are as long as you feel she is the one, fight for it!

I feel she is not worth all the hassle and i am sure there are better woman around who know how to behave

[London_Manila]

thank you for welcoming me Mark! oh I stand corrected my statement was a bit confusing.. what I was trying to say was MAYBE the gf behaved that way because her demands wasn't given! which absolutely unbecoming! Therefore I say its not acceptable to be like what she is.

"life's difficulties" all people of all races undergo life's difficulties what i am trying to emphasize is before he will think of ending up maybe he has to weigh things first or talk why she acted that way. the girl could do as well if the guy is acting the same. Communication!

i would say the same as you said, Both! that is why is said deal with different culture. I mean is both will do. This time he is confused, so he must consider taking a look at this end.

by the way , I am not in the side of the girl what the girl had shown was pretty much unbecoming but again I cant judge her at the end of the day its still the guy who will make a decision.
and agree with you.."mutual respect to be shown by both parties"

I appreciate your reply Mark

Cheers!

Its hard to teach someone mutual respect when they are so isip bata (childish)

[Ako Si Jamie]

I remember the first pinay I dated back in 2005. She was 27 but acted like a teenager and was very insecure. She kept on saying ''Do you still like me?" all the time even though I had only known her a week or so.

[gWaPito]

Its hard to teach someone mutual respect when they are so isip bata (childish)

Like good manners, it's comes from within. ..an instinctive reaction.

[gWaPito]

I remember the first pinay I dated back in 2005. She was 27 but acted like a teenager and was very insecure. She kept on saying ''Do you still like me?" all the time even though I had only known her a week or so.

You saw the red flags nice and early. .

[Ako Si Jamie]

You saw the red flags nice and early. .

Couldn't miss them. Nice enough girl but I wouldn't be able to handle that all the time. Maturity is near the top of my trait list when it comes to women.

[gWaPito]

Couldn't miss them. Nice enough girl but I wouldn't be able to handle that all the time. Maturity is near the top of my trait list when it comes to women.

Mine was long legs and boobs...everything else was secondary. ..as they say. ..in for a penny, in for a pound

[grahamw48]

These days I'm grateful if they're under 50 and will give me a second look.

[gWaPito]

These days I'm grateful if they're under 50 and will give me a second look.

Gonna be my route in 10 years time Graham

[Ako Si Jamie]

Mine was long legs and boobs...everything else was secondary. ..as they say. ..in for a penny, in for a pound

A woman's exterior was the thing that attracted me most as a youngster then I realised over time, the interior was more important and that physical features are just a bonus.

[grahamw48]

Oh that's good then, I must still be young in my ways.

Hey...it's hard enough getting worked up about a woman when you're old...gotta have something tasty to look at to set the old wheels in motion.

[Ako Si Jamie]

Oh that's good then, I must still be young in my ways.

Hey...it's hard enough getting worked up about a woman when you're old...gotta have something tasty to look at to set the old wheels in motion.

[grahamw48]

JEEZUZ !!!

Don't do that !

Gave me the fright of my life !

[Ako Si Jamie]

Not pleasant viewing I must admit.

[grahamw48]

My little sweetheart will do fine for me...even at the ripe old age of 27.

.

[Ako Si Jamie]

My little sweetheart will do fine for me...even at the ripe old age of 27.

.

Is that your lady from Pangasinan?

[grahamw48]

Yeah...got to go and chat to her now, so catch you later.

[Ako Si Jamie]

Will do.

[sars_notd_virus]

What happen to Jellodude???
I hope he's all right
....update us soon mate

[Jellodude]

What happen to Jellodude???
I hope he's all right
....update us soon mate

Sorry i have not been around. My laptop is broke right now so im using my phone for the internet.

Ok we managed to speak on the phone (skype) and she says she was feeling insecure and because of the long distance between us. I have to say i have had previous girlfriends who were totally batshit nuts so these kinds of antics dont really phase me. I have to remember that we have been communicating mainly via txt by yahoo messenger (my laptop broke atm) so misunderstandings happen. Also we get on great in person. Once i get sorted financially i am planning to visit her for longer in PI later this year (max of 21 days without visa i think yeah)

Also she does have troubles that make her life hard (family stuff) she shares with me. I know i said before she asked me to help her with money for college but she was desperate as she isnt sure she will be able to continue her studies. She has to pay her fees for the next semester which starts very soon. I have asked her to try negotiate paying in installments. So i will find out next week how that goes. She told me the other day she was txted by a professor at her college asking her where she was and she wasnt sure how to answer because she doesnt want to disclose the money problems she has in paying fees (feeling ashamed). So possibly it was last week her fees were due and college started last week. AMA College in Dasmarinas.

As always i am careful but i trust her. I will find out the latest when she comes back from a trip she took this weekend (to a spiritual youth camp thing in Zambales)

[Steve.r]

Thanks for the update Jello,

Photos of the camping will help you to know if she is being honest about her trip.

Small step only though ok

[Jellodude]

Thanks for the update Jello,

Photos of the camping will help you to know if she is being honest about her trip.

Small step only though ok

Yeah she said she will get photos. If she cant get a camera herself then her friend will take photos.

Theres a good chance i will be working within a month and i definately want to help herl rent her own place (living conditions at home not good) ive researched average rent pcm around 3500 so i am happy to help in that regard. maybe also get her another phone where skype works ok because right now i have to pay a skype sub to philippines to be able to phone her mobile in PI. She only has a netbook which is pretty slow.

[Steve.r]

There are alternatives to Skype if she has wifi or internet at home that are free. I use Viber to talk to my wife in Phils as well as WeChat and WhatsApp

At this stage though I feel you are going too far to look after her by renting a place for her. Remember her living conditions are not the same as ours and what you see as maybe crowded or not private are normal. Example, even at my home, everyone sleeps together on a large sponge mattress in the living room. (when I am not home of course) and I have done the same when staying with family. Please consider everything before you make a rod for your own back, because once you start... there is no turning back.