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Thread: to those wo are married..not married...soon to be married

  1. #1
    Member cryingbaby's Avatar
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    to those wo are married..not married...soon to be married

    When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said,
    I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed
    the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had
    to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

    She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
    I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks
    and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other.
    She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
    But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew.
    I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

    With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she
    could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

    She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten
    years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time,
    resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew
    so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected
    to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which
    had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

    The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the
    table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast
    because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

    When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so
    I turned over and was asleep again.

    In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from
    me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one
    month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple:
    our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our
    broken marriage

    This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how
    I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

    She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom
    to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last
    days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

    I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
    No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

    My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
    So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
    Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought
    me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I
    walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly;
    don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put
    her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove
    alone to the office

    On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.
    I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this
    woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There
    were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its
    toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

    On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning.
    This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

    On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again.
    I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
    Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

    She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but
    could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.
    I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could
    carry her more easily

    Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
    Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

    Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him,
    seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.
    My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my
    face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then
    held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the
    hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
    it was just like our wedding day.

    But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my
    arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly
    and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

    I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
    I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs.
    Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

    She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever?
    She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.
    My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details
    of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that
    since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
    until death do us apart.

    Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the
    door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

    At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife.
    The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry
    you out every morning until death do us apart.


    The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship.
    It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.
    These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
    happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those
    little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!


  2. #2
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Smile

    Absolutely beautiful - and absolutely true.

    Al.


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    Member Paul&Jesse's Avatar
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  4. #4
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    Very touching!!!! Made my eyes water. Realisation is the key and it came to mind!!!!


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    Respected Member purplealien's Avatar
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    A very moving story


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    A very good and touching story. You have a sweet and happy ending but what happened to Dew?


  7. #7
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    hi sis Maria,

    I guess Dew have to live her life..its not yet the end of the world and she should feel sorry because she almost wrecked a family.Maybe she's out to find a man who is still single and not yet married since there's still lots of fishes in the ocean..


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    I guess you mean live her life It would be nice to hear her side also but maybe shes not ready to share her feelings. Yes, indeed you are right sis. There are many fishes in the ocean with sexy accent ( Mitch here it goes again about the sexy accent hehehe...)


  9. #9
    Respected Member Pepe n Pilar's Avatar
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    Hi Cryingbabay... My attention was caught as i was reading through especially on the 4th day. I was about to cry, it touched my heart. I would say your wife is not scandalous instead she made your heart melt. It really happens that sometimes we seem to ignore what's infront of us would be the best.


  10. #10
    Respected Member vbkelly's Avatar
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    ohhh GOD thankyou!!!!,YOU'RE there to rebinded their love again


  11. #11
    Member cryingbaby's Avatar
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    oooppps!!

    hey guys..thanks for reflectingon this post..but this is not my story..this is a story of a friend..just thought of sharing it here coz it seems thats situations like that is always at stake in relationships..indeed, the lesson in the story is to remind us that when the feeling of another is gone.we should not give up right away..hence make ways to rekindle the fire..love is not healthy when u always feel the same..there were instances that may come along the way that will make us think, we're tired, we're bored of the relationship..does not mean we love them no more..there just something missing out there..and thats for both to discover what was missing..perhaps communication is the best way to unleashed the secrets, things that bothers one another..alot of us are embarrassed to tell what we want exactly from one another..


  12. #12
    Respected Member ervenescence's Avatar
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    Lesson

    Never throw yourself to the person who still completely committed, don't get involved, avoid an affair if you can because its only a mess that you can never win.
    There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.


  13. #13
    Respected Member eljean's Avatar
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    nice one...
    Filipina a born survivor!


  14. #14
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    Some very good lessons to be learned from this - we all forget to look closely at what we already have - it is always easier to look at and want what is different or someone elses.
    We all have thinks we should cherish in our lives, if we only learn to value them.


  15. #15
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    that almost made me cry...

    very moving


  16. #16
    Member petti's Avatar
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    WOOOW!
    very nice story there.
    All respect to the loving woman!


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    Very inspiring!!! Brilliant!


  18. #18
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    that was really really sad story I wonder if its trueanyway am glad that it ended happily
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


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    could anyone please tell me the advantages and disadvantages connected with a englishman marrying a filipina in the Phillipines and not uk.

    thanks,
    philcherry


  20. #20
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    what are the possible disadvantages if the marriage breaks up after living in uk and pending divorce proceedings.
    salamat.

    philcherry


  21. #21
    Respected Member ervenescence's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by philcherry View Post
    what are the possible disadvantages if the marriage breaks up after living in uk and pending divorce proceedings.
    salamat.

    philcherry

    Philcherry, it would be nice for you to post your query in a new topic. And you will get a lot of answers from members point of views.
    There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn't get worse every year.


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    Wink marriges that may go wrong...



    i know this subject is looking on the black side of things but it occured to us what might be the outcome if a married couple
    [ filipina and Englishman] needed to divorce after living as man in wife in the uk and had been wed in the Phil's.
    Intrested to know for all of our sakes what the advantages and disadvantages are. If anyone has any information or stories we would be most grateful to recieve as it will be usefull reading for all concerned.thank you.


  23. #23
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    where can we post a new topic?

    Quote Originally Posted by ervenescence View Post
    Philcherry, it would be nice for you to post your query in a new topic. And you will get a lot of answers from members point of views.
    .

    i want to learn on how to post a new topic,thanks


  24. #24
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    philcherry u just have to click the post New Thread button or u can use the search function..so other people here can understand ur situation better..


  25. #25
    Respected Member Les_lady888's Avatar
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    I am so deeply moved with the story....cant help tears falling from my eyes while reading it. I guess being the wife in the story is really very disheartening knowing that your husband felt that way towards you....wanting a divorce. It is like saying that "You failed as a wife!" and that's a very hurting realization....but it is good somehow she managed to bring back the love alive .....but how many wonderful love relationships can survive the test of time? How can one keeps the loving feeling through the time? I actually asked that in another topic. I really wish to learn coz I don't want to end my would-be marriage in a divorce nor would I ever want my husband-to-be to ask me for divorce.


  26. #26
    Respected Member jbt's Avatar
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    just read this and it really touched my heart ,lots of tears ...feels like you just watched a movie and thanks God - with a happy ending ...

    thank you cryingbaby...this is a very touching one..
    "Chains do not hold a marriage together.It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.That is what makes a marriage last - more than passion or even sex..."


  27. #27
    Respected Member Louella's Avatar
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    very nice!



    I think he deserved the big slap! Couples have their "ups & downs"... but mostly "downs" are nightmare! It's always part of a growing relationship but i don't think having a "third party" is acceptable! I salute the wife for being patient, forgiving & devoted to her husband! Mabuhay!

    Louella
    Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans... - John Lennon


  28. #28
    Member DonyaPepay's Avatar
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    huhuhu... thats touching....


  29. #29
    Respected Member Marwin08's Avatar
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    word for Dew,"God nvr leaves us empty,if He asked you to put something down its becoz He Wants u to pick up something great".
    What a nice and very touching reflection. It's really importnt to make sure that your partner is available to avoid future complications.


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