Mitch, I know how to cook paella and carbonara...I could help you....I could even cook it for you...just not include seafoods..just chorizo, chicken, pork, and add lots of saffron...that's the miracle thread of paella. Are u also allergic with scallops? That's also good substitute..but I'm not sure if ur also allergic with that..I hope not...coz' it's really yummy....
But still can't imagine paella without a single seafood.. the more we should meet here in manila so I could teach you how.
