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Thread: Give me some advice... i don't know where to stand

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    Respected Member gecko_pikachu's Avatar
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    I have already mentioned some of my dilemma here in the forum before & now, it's gone worse. I don't know what I'm going to do at this time. I'm so confused. Please help me find the right answer... help me sort out my life. :(

    I'm currently reading about Mom Forum- mother in laws (problems regarding MIL) & I just can't believed that some had the same problem with MIL like I do...

    My husband is the youngest & he's always living with his mother. I came here in England to marry him & supposed to start a family of our own but that's not the case. We've been married for over a year now & have a lovely little baby boy. I admit that she's very good to my son, buying him everything that he needs.. from baby foods to clothes.. as in everything. She's even buying things for me. I really appreciate that a lot. I'm a quiet type of a person, no complains you can hear from me not until the other night that I feel like I have the right to say something then. The problem on me is that I'm very emotional person & sensitive. You can tell if I'm not happy or feeling depressed. I wish I could just tell her exactly the way I feel at times. Believe me I have a few times, but I really try to stay quiet because it is my husband's mother. My husband always sticks up for his mom so it does no good for me to ask him about the way i feel before. That's why I'm always upset, crying on my own.

    My mother-in-law & I get along so well at first. There's no problem on me eventhough she always henpecks me, telling me what to do. They're a bit conservative type. All her children obeying her all the time. Never in their life that they disagreed with their mother. She is also one of the mothers that is so controlling at times I feel like there are things I can't do. Why? Because she's always telling me what to do & what's not. It's like I'm not always doing the right thing in this house & considers herself as perfect all the time. She's telling me what to do with my baby all the time & that's making me sick. I supposed to be the mother.. not her & when you won't follow her, she starts saying all her difficulties in life raising up her brothers & sisters during her time, so I feel guilty then. She is so controlling. She is an "I told you so" type of person who does not care about your feelings, only that SHE is ALWAYS right and you are just a fool for thinking the way that you do.

    I'm personally fed up the other night after she came in right through our bedroom & starts making comments about what I did on the cot, the baby's little cushion & the heater. She critizes everything. How do you get along with someone like her? That's why I really wanted to rent my own place when I start working & live there with my baby but my husband don't like that decision. He's seeing me going out with another man then. We have 2 nights argument when MIL made a decision to just move to her other son married to other Filipino wife, they have a daughter. They're living not far from here. I know it's my fault, I ruined her realationship with my husband but I can't bear to live with her forever. I can't stand that. I'm ashamed of myself now about what I did... I don't know that speaking out about her made everyone mad alright. They said MIL just trying her best to help me, how about me?????

    Thanks for listening.
    Taka care now & Bye!.... Venus


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