My wife wants me to leave our home.

[gWaPito]

This was taken Nov 23.2012 @ SM Sucat

[grahamw48]

Oh wow....lovely picture !

You're much better looking than I thought Mark.

[marksroomspain]

What can I say about the pic Gwaps you all look so happy, beautiful photo take care buddy...

[gWaPito]

What can I say about the pic Gwaps you all look so happy, beautiful photo take care buddy...

Cheers Mark Jamie and Michael

This really was the whole point...you can go from this to utter desparation in a blink of an eye ...Nobody is immune, no one.

We've read what happened to Rosie's brother plus countless other hard luck stories on here.

I do think back if I'd done this or done that..worked less hours like Arthur said ..be more understanding..we got to remember the ladies we are bringing over here are nothing like their western counterparts....I found out much too late that they are fragile and must be treated we care!.....too late for me but not you guys and gals starting out.....Don't take each other for granted.

That is definitely it for the pictures...you've seen it all

[gWaPito]

Oh wow....lovely picture !

You're much better looking than I thought Mark.

Thanks Graham

When you get to our ages compliments go a very long way!!...I can tell you

[Ako Si Jamie]

Yup. Some good pics there Mark

[Michael Parnham]

You've hit the jackpot with this photo, very nice indeed Mark!

[grahamw48]

Some wise words there Mark.

[Doc Alan]

Wise words indeed Mark

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. You shared happiness in that photo and you are rightly being positive about the future for you, your boys, and other loved ones .

[gWaPito]

Wise words indeed Mark

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. You shared happiness in that photo and you are rightly being positive about the future for you, your boys, and other loved ones .

Thank you Alan

I'm all out of reputations at the moment Alan
I'll forward some on when I'm full again.

Cheers
Gwaps

[Mrs.smart]

Been reading all the post from the start... It was a heart breaking story especially for the two angels... I wish gwapito and the two little angels all the best.

Lovely photos...

[gWaPito]

Been reading all the post from the start... It was a heart breaking story especially for the two angels... I wish gwapito and the two little angels all the best.

Lovely photos...

Thank you Mrs Smart.

My house was full of laughter when I had them last week. ...I'm going for a repeat performance this week. ..I get my boys back again tomorrow. ....so I've got the Wednesday Thursday Friday and Saturday of each week to get the house straight ready for Sunday.

Hopefully the sun will be out this time so we can get ourselves outside in the fresh air.

I'll be more organised this time. ..It was a bit hit and miss last week with the eating and sleeping arrangements. .Jane didn't give me any brief so had to make it up as we went along. We fun doing so haha. .....I'll have to shorten the lead. ..The boys got me sussed out already!!. ..With Stik-Os, skyflakes and Petits Filous being the main staple ..everything else was spat out. ...happy days! !

[gWaPito]

Taken same loction at SM Sucat Nov 23 2012 ..I love this pic

[tiger31]

Taken same loction at SM Sucat Nov 23 2012 ..I love this pic

when I look at how happy you all look in these nice pictures then how sad its all turned out ,its a dam shame mark but my friend life has to go on you can,t change whats happened or turn back the clock ,you must look forward to making those kids lives the best possible .you will meet someone one day in the future to complete your happiness but for now its the kids that are the most important thing to you .

[SimonH]

That time of week again
Have a fantastic day mate

[gWaPito]

That time of week again
Have a fantastic day mate

Thank you Simon..Thank you Tiger31 (Brian).....That time for the heart in your mouth feeling again. I'll be leaving here soon so I'll say good bye here for the time being

You all have a fabulous day

Cheers
Gwaps xx

[blackcat22]

gWapito, like joebloggs pointed out. while there are some horror stories there are also many many examples of success stories on this forum that you can draw strength from. I know it's hard after you thought you were home and dry and then this happened and having to start all over again(numerous flights back and forth to phils to start a new courtship, the predicament of applying for spouse VISA again which is no longer so easy...etc). Just concentrate yourself on only reading the success stories to bring yourself in a positive frame of mind. I know a german friend same thing happened to, after she brought the filipina to germany, her behavour changed and she left her german husband. He dusted himself up and returned back to courtship the more wiser and now he got a fantantic cebuana filipina who loves him for what he is and gave him a child and she was not least interested in moving to germany. She is just as content living with her german husband their in Cebu in the palatial condo he bought to raise their child. Later they moved to germany but it was his descision, not a descision driven by the filipina wife. Now she got her german ILR but still she never changed her behaviour to her german husband still the same loving filipina to her husband before and after the ILR [He is 56yrs and she is 20yrs old]

The positive thing about your situation is that you got two beautiful children from her in exchange for whatever she got out of you. I know some Brits who got nothing out at all while the filipina making all sorts of excuses NOT to have children with their Brit husband and just ride out the 5yr then dissappeared after getting ILR.

Someone can correct me if i'm wrong but I think if the marriage mysteriously breaks down shortly after obtaining ILR, the ILR conditions have a clause which says it can be revoked if the husband reported it. I think this is last line of defence our government is using to try and protect us from ILR hunters.

[gWaPito]

gWapito, like joebloggs pointed out. while there are some horror stories there are also many many examples of success stories on this forum that you can draw strenght from.

The positive thing about your situation is that you got two beautiful children from her in exchange for whatever she got out of you.

I agree blackcat ..many success stories here as well

My boys make sense of all of it, really ...without my past, the good the bad and the ugly, they wouldn't be here.. for that, I'm grateful

[joebloggs]

i thinks its very rare for ILR to be revoked unless it could be proved it was obtained by using deception,

[joebloggs]

i agree about the legal system, its only fair if you have the money to pay for it

the gov has recently changed some of the rules\procedures for DV, i know in the past it would be difficult for the spouse to apply for FLR\ILR if they had left the family home without reporting DV, looking at it i think that's changed now

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/si...settlement.pdf

[gWaPito]

i agree about the legal system, its only fair if you have the money to pay for it

the gov has recently changed some of the rules\procedures for DV, i know in the past it would be difficult for the spouse to apply for FLR\ILR if they had left the family home without reporting DV, looking at it i think that's changed now

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/si...settlement.pdf

Definitely Joe. ..looks like she was well up to speed on this....talk about military precision.

[malditako]

This situation be a lesson to those who wants to marry a foreigner....don't rush things into marriage. Internet love affair is far more different when you are together. Most often than not westerner jump to marry their filipino gf's after only a few months of knowing them online then marry the first they met simply b'coz they believe they are in love. Personally i dont believe in love at first sight...infatuation yes but love no. That takes time, effort and the willingness to be with that person no matter what. And thats what u call acceptance. Love is a choice...simple as that.

[gWaPito]

This situation be a lesson to those who wants to marry a foreigner....don't rush things into marriage. Internet love affair is far more different when you are together. Most often than not westerner jump to marry their filipino gf's after only a few months of knowing them online then marry the first they meet simply b'coz they believe they are in love. Personally i dont believe in love at first sight...infatuation yes but love no. That takes time, effort and the willingness to be with that person no matter what. And thats what u call acceptance. Love is a choice...simple as that.

It's not all the foreigner's fault ...pressure can comes from the filipina and sometimes her family as well....More than likely the old 'foreigner' (me) is actually in love...The probs started after ILR and went into overdrive when she got her sticky mits on the Holy Grail (British Passport)

Forget the 'infatuation'...forget the love story..there wasn't any on the woman's side..have a read of blackcat's posts ..he was nearer the truth of my situation...which is a shame I actually preferred your take on it

BTW..most of us Brits have come from marriages and relationships what have lasted, in my case, decades.

I know what effort is required to sustain a relationship over such a time..most of us 'lifers' do. If the other party doesn't share the same resiliance to the pressures of everyday life compared to the husband then, the relationship stands no chance.
In retrospect, the guy coming from the long term relationship has been spoilt..he will naturally think the new partner will be much like the first, a toughness and a willingness to get on with it and work together as a team...and why not? the filipina has in most cases has come from a tough background..a background most folks over here couldn't comprehend..thing I noticed over there was, thrift was the name of the game...all that changed here

[Terpe]

.......If the other party doesn't share the same resiliance to the pressures of everyday life compared to the husband then, the relationship stands no chance.....

Agree with this totally.
An essential part of any relationship.

Through thick and thin

[malditako]

there's a big difference between being "in love with the person" and "being in love with love"...and the latter always mistaken as a real love so when romance fades in a relationship the so called love fades as well.

[gWaPito]

there's a big difference between being "inlove with the person" and "being inlove with love"...and the latter always mistaken as a real love so when romance fades in a relationship the so called love fades as well.

Too much Barbara Cartland, Malditako

I appreciate you input ...you must be one of only 3 ladies to have said anything in public on this thread...although many in private

I've sent you a rep..it hasn't been credited as yet but, I have sent it!

[grahamw48]

Very true malditako. (Some rep coming for that), though I'm not saying that is Mark's situation...every relationship being different.

An 'inter-cultural' relationship is challenging enough already, without taking some extra time and effort to get to know the other person properly, as well as their background, and general outlook on life.

Some people seem to me to be just in too much of a rush....and overly concerned about MONEY.

[mickcant]

Very true malditako. (Some rep coming for that), though I'm not saying that is Mark's situation...every relationship being different.

An 'inter-cultural' relationship is challenging enough already, without taking some extra time and effort to get to know the other person properly, as well as their background, and general outlook on life.

Some people seem to me to be just in too much of a rush....and overly concerned about MONEY.

Thats it
Apart from wanting to meet a beautiful partner, even if you are well off and enjoy travelling
there is the "wish" to get things under way because of the distance, so if we are told what we want to hear well that is it for some of us.

With me I was 63 when I met my ex, had one trip there then went back the next year and married! (the rest is history) apart from my not being well off so did not think waiting for another trip necessary!

All life is a gamble it seems! I know a man who married during his first trip to the Philippines and the marriage is going strong.

Mick.

[jake]

An 'inter-cultural' relationship is challenging enough already, without taking some extra time and effort to get to know the other person properly, as well as their background, and general outlook on life.

Good point

Take your time, so you BOTH make the right choices from the start. Have seen many a foreign man telling their wives the right way to do things You both have to be flexible and understand that you come from different culture backgrounds.

[joebloggs]

but marriage btw brits can just as easily end in divorce.

some interesting facts on marriage and divorce

Chance of divorce is greatest between the 4th and 8th wedding anniversaries




http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/...-divorce.html#