My wife wants me to leave our home.

[gWaPito]

I hope no one is offended by what I say but, this thread has been a really brilliant and extremely informative and thanks to Mark it has also opened peoples' eyes to the fact that anything can happen within a relationship of short or long standing. Let us reassure those that may have doubts about there filipino wife's or partners not to worry too much because the lady from the Philippines can and is very supportive if her man shows the love and respect she deserves!

I'm not offended Michael ..I appreciate your input, in fact I appreciate all who is having a say here, be it positive or negative ..It shows us for what we are

I agree, the lady from the Philippines can be very supportive but, can also be the opposite..like ANY relationship, It's a gamble, especially when you've got all your cards spread face up all over the table....I went into mine being very supportive and loving, more so than to anybody else I've known and it still wasn't enough............believe me, I gave her all and more than what she deserved

Nothing is guaranteed but, stats show (it's been pointed out on here a while back ) a relationship with a Filipino will outlast a western partnership

It's a shame I married a couple of duds

[Michael Parnham]

I'm not offended Michael ..I appreciate your input, in fact I appreciate all who is having a say here, be it positive or negative ..It shows us for what we are

I agree, the lady from the Philippines can be very supportive but, can also be the opposite..like ANY relationship, It's a gamble, especially when you've got all your cards spread face up all over the table....I went into mine being very supportive and loving, more so than to anybody else I've known and it still wasn't enough............believe me, I gave her all and more than what she deserved

Nothing is guaranteed but, stats show (it's been pointed out on here a while back ) a relationship with a Filipino will outlast a western partnership

It's a shame I married a couple of duds

I understand where you are coming from Mark, also thank you for your honesty!

[joebloggs]

how many fail, and whats do you class as a fail? after 1 yr, 5yrs or 10yrs ?

from what i can recall i only know of a handful on here that didn't work out, obviously there are more, as not everyone is going to put on a public forum their marriage has ended, but i think most seem to work out

[gWaPito]

how many fail, and whats do you class as a fail? after 1 yr, 5yrs or 10yrs ?

from what i can recall i only know of a handful on here that didn't work out, obviously there are more, as not everyone is going to put on a public forum their marriage has ended, but i think most seem to work out

Until death do us part Joe ..........My first marriage lasted 25 years..ending in divorce..Hardly a success ...Although we are on talking and texting terms, thanks to the kids we had together....without them, I daresay we would of lost all connection with each other

[Neu75]

I know a lot of Filipinos where I live and there have been many failed marriages.
One lady told me she doesn't want to mix with others as there is too much chissmiss and rivalry.
Seems to me that the Asian woman becomes very western after years here.
What is more important in Gwapito's situation is the children and how to stop them being taken away to Philippines.

[grahamw48]

.
One lady told me she doesn't want to mix with others as there is too much chissmiss and rivalry.

That is something that I've heard many times too.

The most enduring relationships I've come across (and the ladies seemingly least affected by 'Westernisation') are those who've already been together a long time overseas.

[gWaPito]

What is more important in Gwapios situation is the children and how to stop them being taken away to Philippines.

I have to rely on her abiding with the law ( Judge turn't down my injunction application but still took the £500!! ) My solicitor said that if she left the country without first seeking my permission, It would be treated as child aduction...Well Whooppee!!!

Without any agreement with The Philippines concerning partners illegally taking children abroad, It'll be up to muggins here to shell out again for solicitors etc............Talk about money for old rope

[tiger31]

I believe your relationship / marriage would last longer if you stayed in the philippines .Its far easier to get rid of your ex partner in the west .marrying someone from a different culture is I believe a bit more challenging for all sorts of reasons .Its all about being patient with each others culture and trying to understand them before you speak or make decisions .philippinas can and do make excellent partners if you treat and show them respect they will look after you good and proper .but cross them and out comes the BOLO lol

[SimonH]

I believe your relationship / marriage would last longer if you stayed in the philippines .Its far easier to get rid of your ex partner in the west .marrying someone from a different culture is I believe a bit more challenging for all sorts of reasons .Its all about being patient with each others culture and trying to understand them before you speak or make decisions .philippinas can and do make excellent partners if you treat and show them respect they will look after you good and proper .but cross them and out comes the BOLO lol

Good advice, in my opinion I think many men fall 'in love' over the internet, maybe they're falling 'in love' with the idea same applies to women of a different culture filipino or not, they fall 'in love' with the idea of living in a western country and are therefore blinkered in some respects to the person they're falling 'in love' with.
Tiger's advice of spending time in each others country for a period of time is excellent, then each of you would know if you're in love with the person or the idea. At the end of the day, what's 6 months out of your life when you're planning on spending the rest of it together

[gWaPito]

how many fail, and whats do you class as a fail? after 1 yr, 5yrs or 10yrs ?

from what i can recall i only know of a handful on here that didn't work out, obviously there are more, as not everyone is going to put on a public forum their marriage has ended, but i think most seem to work out

From what I understand. .1 out of every 3 marriages end in failure in the UK. Going by that, most seem to work out....still too high. ..

[stevewool]

who ever you are thanks for the rep,

[grahamw48]

One of the best pages I've read on this forum.

Top posts.

Now let's practice what we preach.

[grahamw48]

Good post Marco.

(I know I'm divorced now, but I DID manage 15 years).

[andy222]

Great post Marco lifes what you make it. Im glad life is treating you well.

[Moy]

keep strong friend send you pm

[Pete/London]

Rep Gratefully received, thanks

[grahamw48]

Have we met ?

[gWaPito]

Have we met ?

You make me laugh Graham

A deserved rep on it's way to you

When I'm able to ...I have to spread them around :-)

[grahamw48]

Well I've been called many names.

My Filipina stepdaughter calls me a 'mouldy old man'.

[Neu75]

If the wife falls out of love she will go, and take the kids if there are any.
Money is less important than compromise.
The trick is to listen to the wife and compromise.
Don't compromise at your peril

[gWaPito]

If the wife falls out of love she will go, and take the kids if there are any.
Money is less important than compromise.
The trick is to listen to the wife and compromise.
Don't compromise at your peril

Hey, my middle name in 'compromise' ..I couldn't do any more

[anvee]

I am very sorry to hear that. My husband and I met online, said "I love you" to each other few days after we met haha. He booked flight to Philippines 2 weeks after we met, met last February 2013, got married Aug 8th this year! we have been living together for 8 months now plus everyday chatting on skype for 4 months prior to that. I can say that I know my husband very well now. Of course he's not perfect and neither am I. But we compromise and we love each other. Trust blindly and respect! Hopefully this will be a marriage of a lifetime as divorce is not in our option!!!!!

[gWaPito]

I am very sorry to hear that. My husband and I met online, said "I love you" to each other few days after we met haha. He booked flight to Philippines 2 weeks after we met, met last February 2013, got married Aug 8th this year! we have been living together for 8 months now plus everyday chatting on skype for 4 months prior to that. I can say that I know my husband very well now. Of course he's not perfect and neither am I. But we compromise and we love each other. Trust blindly and respect! Hopefully this will be a marriage of a lifetime as divorce is not in our option!!!!!

Thank you Anvee...I too hope your's is a marriage of a lifetime. Looks like you both met and married in the same time scale as I did,

Believe me, I compromised every day ....Had the divorce option been taken out, just like you have done then, I'm sure things would of worked out..we would of found a way.

I'm not going soft here but, Jane didn't have it easy. My family rejected her...my 2 grown up kids didn't want to know. Jane made attempts to make things good...i remember when my son and daughter first visited us at our house, Jane had cooked...they woildn't eat

It didn't help that i was married to a filipina before..my family did trust her. but she did awful things to us before she left thus the mud stuck to Jane....no matter what Jane did, she was being compared..she was on a loser from the off.

What I should of done was cut ties with them and devote my life with Jane and our boys really, that's what i should of done. I wanted both, I didn't want to lose my family....What I did was wrong, I put my family above the greater good of my two baby sons..for that, I'm full of regret.

[grahamw48]

Thank you Anvee...I too hope your's is a marriage of a lifetime. Looks like you both met and married in the same time scale as I did,

Believe me, I compromised every day ....Had the divorce option been taken out, just like you have done then, I'm sure things would of worked out..we would of found a way.

I'm not going soft here but, Jane didn't have it easy. My family rejected her...my 2 grown up kids didn't want to know. Jane made attempts to make things good...i remember when my son and daughter first visited us at our house, Jane had cooked...they woildn't eat

It didn't help that i was married to a filipina before..my family did trust her. but she did awful things to us before she left thus the mud stuck to Jane....no matter what Jane did, she was being compared..she was on a loser from the off.

What I should of done was cut ties with them and devote my life with Jane and our boys really, that's what i should of done. I wanted both, I didn't want to lose my family....What I did was wrong, I put my family above the greater good of my two baby sons..for that, I'm full of regret.

You know Mark, my parents wouldn't speak to (or have round to their house) my beautiful girlfriend of several years, then fiancee...the one later killed in a road accident. She was mixed race of course...Jamaican/English, and brought up by white foster parents.

They had no such problems later, with my Filipina wife, who I hadn't even bothered to tell them I was marrying.

[gWaPito]

You know Mark, my parents wouldn't speak to (or have round to their house) my beautiful girlfriend of several years, then fiancee...the one later killed in a road accident. She was mixed race of course...Jamaican/English, and brought up by white foster parents.

They had no such problems later, with my Filipina wife, who I hadn't even bothered to tell them I was marrying.

My family was the root cause of my marriage break up..everything negative stemmed from them..I was stupid enough to be taken in by it.

My grown up kids blamed Jane for the reason for not coming around to see their brothers well, I've had my boys 5 times and still they won't come see their baby brothers..in fact now Jane's gone, they won't even come see their dad yet when Jane was here they made such a fuss about seeing me!!!

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself at the moment, I'm off work with a bad back..today being the first day, I just pray I will be well enough to have the boys in a few days time....I'm thinking all this was so unavoidable if I hadn't of been stupid enough to have been taken in

You know, I feel the same about her family..I know they have tried in the past to use her for money..Jane couldn't see it..Just like I couldn't see the way my family here in UK manipulated me.....our families caused so many problems..that was where all our arguements started from....Jane couldn't accept my kids texting me while she knew they hated her.....I too felt the same about her family..They knew that I knew what they were all about......They didn't want to help themselves no matter what money was given..instead of spending on business, it went on the usual....I made it plain that I knew they were taking the pee and it was going to stop.

At the expense of our wonderful beautiful children, Jane and I put family loyalties first.........I so wish I could turn the clock back.

The Swiss family Robinson had it all worked out

[marksroomspain]

My family was the root cause of my marriage break up..everything negative stemmed from them..I was stupid enough to be taken in by it.

My grown up kids blamed Jane for the reason for not coming around to see their brothers well, I've had my boys 5 times and still they won't come see their baby brothers..in fact now Jane's gone, they won't even come see their dad yet when Jane was here they made such a fuss about seeing me!!!

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself at the moment, I'm off work with a bad back..today being the first day, I just pray I will be well enough to have the boys in a few days time....I'm thinking all this was so unavoidable if I hadn't of been stupid enough to have been taken in

You know, I feel the same about her family..I know they have tried in the past to use her for money..Jane couldn't see it..Just like I couldn't see the way my family here in UK manipulated me.....our families caused so many problems..that was where all our arguements started from....Jane couldn't accept my kids texting me while she knew they hated her.....I too felt the same about her family..They knew that I knew what they were all about......They didn't want to help themselves no matter what money was given..instead of spending on business, it went on the usual....I made it plain that I knew they were taking the pee and it was going to stop.

At the expense of our wonderful beautiful children, Jane and I put family loyalties first.........I so wish I could turn the clock back.

The Swiss family Robinson had it all worked out

I hope buddy you now see things more clearly, infact I know you do, those that matter will always be there for you the rest I say can off

I also know you will do best by those little boys and you will definitely be a much stronger person and move forward from all the troubles you have had.

I never forget friends who are willing to listen to others problems especially when they have so many of their own and you're a great guy Mark...

Take Care Buddy...

[bigmarco]

My family was the root cause of my marriage break up..everything negative stemmed from them..I was stupid enough to be taken in by it.

My grown up kids blamed Jane for the reason for not coming around to see their brothers well, I've had my boys 5 times and still they won't come see their baby brothers..in fact now Jane's gone, they won't even come see their dad yet when Jane was here they made such a fuss about seeing me!!!

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself at the moment, I'm off work with a bad back..today being the first day, I just pray I will be well enough to have the boys in a few days time....I'm thinking all this was so unavoidable if I hadn't of been stupid enough to have been taken in

You know, I feel the same about her family..I know they have tried in the past to use her for money..Jane couldn't see it..Just like I couldn't see the way my family here in UK manipulated me.....our families caused so many problems..that was where all our arguements started from....Jane couldn't accept my kids texting me while she knew they hated her.....I too felt the same about her family..They knew that I knew what they were all about......They didn't want to help themselves no matter what money was given..instead of spending on business, it went on the usual....I made it plain that I knew they were taking the pee and it was going to stop.

At the expense of our wonderful beautiful children, Jane and I put family loyalties first.........I so wish I could turn the clock back.

The Swiss family Robinson had it all worked out

Interesting read that Mark.
I can only give you a rep for that but I wish I could send a copy of that to Jane.
I sincerely hope she has been in as a reflective mood as you have been in the past weeks.

[marksroomspain]

I take my hat off to you gwaps fot being so amicable..

[grahamw48]

Know how you feel mate...though mine lasted a bit longer.

[stevewool]

its good to read what you are saying now Mark, it takes time to realize what did go wrong and when it did too, sometimes we blame the wrong people for this and that , chin up mate, onwards and upwards is all that is needed now