My wife wants me to leave our home.

[gWaPito]

well, dont move out. In the Philippine law, the children will stay with their mother up to the age years old. When they are old enough to decide to whom they want to stay with, then they have the freedom to live with their mum or dad. If she continues to be like that, then let her move out and let the kids stay. I know you are in a hard situation, but i think if she doesnt want to talk about the problem then there's no point of staying together. Unless she fancy someone and just blaming on you talking to females here in the forum. I know this is a friendly forum, but we are entitled to give our opinions and advice to other people. It is up to the person if they will accept it or not. I feel sorry for you. Remember, you are in UK, and you have all the rights to your children. As long as you are not doing anything wrong, then you have all the rights to stay. All of us are here to help and give you advice. Please try to be strong and if you have any problems, just feel free to ask any advice. I dont want you to add up to the patients who end up having depression in the end due to separation or domestic violence.We have lots of patients like that who end up in Pennine care. I hope I have enlightened you a bit. Just always love your kids and be patient to your wife.

Hi Jane.
Thank you for taking the time to post, I really appreciate it.

I've said to my wife, if you want to go then please go. ..the trouble is Jane, she won't leave without our boys. ..This is how selfish she appears to be. ..she would rather take our 1 and 2yo boys from a familiar safe loving environment with all their toys etc to one that would be totally the opposite with, in our boys eyes, a total stranger. .the thought sends me cold.
So the pressure is on me to get out otherwise this is what she is going to do.
I dread going home from work in case she's ran with our boys.
I know we have laws here protecting both parents giving both parties rights to visitation etc. ...I know my wife won't allow this, no matter what the law says.

All this is purely out of spite. .I've got no idea why she wants to hurt me so much. What sort of Mother would want to deprive the love of father and his Sons. .pure evil.

We are not fighting shouting or screaming at each other, let alone in front of the boys. .a ridiculous notion. The boys remain happy and contented.

For me, its a struggle. .I work late into the night so I don't come downstairs until 10am..I prepare for work and leave around 10.30...the boys normally take shower at 10 so as i walk down the stairs Mother and Mother in law pick boys up. .nothing wrong in that.
What is wrong is that the wife gathers up the youngest before he can get to me so I can't kiss and cuddle him. .same for our eldest boy. .such a rush to get him from my arms. ..she won't let me get close to them! !!!!
I was thinking may be it would be a good idea to leave, at least I'll have rights to have them. ...then again this is my wife, she would never let it happen.
I'm in a lose lose situation.
I'm praying for divine intervention. .literally I am. ..it's all I've got.

Cheers
Mark

[Arthur Little]

Hi Jane.

We are not fighting shouting or screaming at each other, let alone in front of the boys. .a ridiculous notion. The boys remain happy and contented.

's of paramount importance!

For me, its a struggle. . *I work late into the night so I don't come downstairs until 10am..I prepare for work and leave around 10.30...

... ... perhaps *that is PART - if not at the root - of your marital troubles!

... nothing wrong in that

Hmm ... that, my friend, is where you and I would disagree! Whilst it's all very well to work hard (as you most evidently do!) in order to provide your kids with the best-possible start in their lives ... it inevitably comes at a heavy price (as you're now discovering for yourself). And it seems to me, at any rate, that that price has, over time, exacted its toll in terms of the long hours you've put into your job - stealthily eroding what began as a loving, shared partnership between you and Jane. Jane, don't forget, has been the person left alone in the house (your mother-in-law's current presence excepted) to cope with the constant demands of two toddlers - born within as many years of one another - all the while. How do you imagine she feels about her husband seldom being around to share her emotional needs as a wife and mother because of the erratic exigencies of his work schedule?

Think about it, Mark ... where's the point in scrimping and saving to maintain a house valued at £350K? Surely it would be worth downsizing materialistically [including earnings' wise] for
the sake of preserving the wellbeing of your marriage!

[gWaPito]

's of paramount importance!



... ... perhaps *that is PART - if not at the root - of your marital troubles!



Hmm ... that, my friend, is where you and I would disagree! Whilst it's all very well to work hard (as you most evidently do!) in order to provide your kids with the best-possible start in their lives ... it inevitably comes at a heavy price (as you're now discovering for yourself). And it seems to me, at any rate, that that price has, over time, exacted its toll in terms of the long hours you've put into your job - stealthily eroding what began as a loving, shared partnership between you and Jane. Jane, don't forget, has been the person left alone in the house (your mother-in-law's current presence excepted) to cope with the constant demands of two toddlers - born within as many years of one another - all the while. How do you imagine she feels about her husband seldom being around to share her emotional needs as a wife and mother because of the erratic exigencies of his work schedule?

Think about it, Mark ... where's the point in scrimping and saving to maintain a house valued at £350K? Surely it would be worth downsizing materialistically [including earnings' wise] for
the sake of preserving the wellbeing of your marriage!

Just a quick one Arthur. .still busy here. .I don't have the big house any more. ..that got sold with the divorce of my first wife. ...I only mentioned all that stuff because it was implied I had issues with women because I'd been married 3 times.
Im currently living in a 2 bed terrace worth £130000 on a interest only mortgage. ...I'm presently pot less Arthur. .financially this is what's all this has cost me.

Yes, I can hear the choir. ...oh happy days oh, happy days

The purpose I'm working like this is to save for a mortgage on a 3 bed house when my credit rating has cleared up in November this year. ..we want to get the new house and settled in before James starts mainstream school in 2 years time.
Cheers Arthur

Btw. ..I bought myself some night time reading. ...'Proof of Heaven' by Dr Eben Alexander.
Not sure it was a wise move considering my world is crashing around my ears.

Still, I'll let you know if it's any good.