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  1. #1
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    Hi Jane.

    We are not fighting shouting or screaming at each other, let alone in front of the boys. .a ridiculous notion. The boys remain happy and contented.
    's of paramount importance!

    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    For me, its a struggle. . *I work late into the night so I don't come downstairs until 10am..I prepare for work and leave around 10.30...
    ... ... perhaps *that is PART - if not at the root - of your marital troubles!

    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    ... nothing wrong in that
    Hmm ... that, my friend, is where you and I would disagree! Whilst it's all very well to work hard (as you most evidently do!) in order to provide your kids with the best-possible start in their lives ... it inevitably comes at a heavy price (as you're now discovering for yourself). And it seems to me, at any rate, that that price has, over time, exacted its toll in terms of the long hours you've put into your job - stealthily eroding what began as a loving, shared partnership between you and Jane. Jane, don't forget, has been the person left alone in the house (your mother-in-law's current presence excepted) to cope with the constant demands of two toddlers - born within as many years of one another - all the while. How do you imagine she feels about her husband seldom being around to share her emotional needs as a wife and mother because of the erratic exigencies of his work schedule?

    Think about it, Mark ... where's the point in scrimping and saving to maintain a house valued at £350K? Surely it would be worth downsizing materialistically [including earnings' wise] for
    the sake of preserving the wellbeing of your marriage!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    's of paramount importance!



    ... ... perhaps *that is PART - if not at the root - of your marital troubles!



    Hmm ... that, my friend, is where you and I would disagree! Whilst it's all very well to work hard (as you most evidently do!) in order to provide your kids with the best-possible start in their lives ... it inevitably comes at a heavy price (as you're now discovering for yourself). And it seems to me, at any rate, that that price has, over time, exacted its toll in terms of the long hours you've put into your job - stealthily eroding what began as a loving, shared partnership between you and Jane. Jane, don't forget, has been the person left alone in the house (your mother-in-law's current presence excepted) to cope with the constant demands of two toddlers - born within as many years of one another - all the while. How do you imagine she feels about her husband seldom being around to share her emotional needs as a wife and mother because of the erratic exigencies of his work schedule?

    Think about it, Mark ... where's the point in scrimping and saving to maintain a house valued at £350K? Surely it would be worth downsizing materialistically [including earnings' wise] for
    the sake of preserving the wellbeing of your marriage!
    Just a quick one Arthur. .still busy here. .I don't have the big house any more. ..that got sold with the divorce of my first wife. ...I only mentioned all that stuff because it was implied I had issues with women because I'd been married 3 times.
    Im currently living in a 2 bed terrace worth £130000 on a interest only mortgage. ...I'm presently pot less Arthur. .financially this is what's all this has cost me.

    Yes, I can hear the choir. ...oh happy days oh, happy days

    The purpose I'm working like this is to save for a mortgage on a 3 bed house when my credit rating has cleared up in November this year. ..we want to get the new house and settled in before James starts mainstream school in 2 years time.
    Cheers Arthur

    Btw. ..I bought myself some night time reading. ...'Proof of Heaven' by Dr Eben Alexander.
    Not sure it was a wise move considering my world is crashing around my ears.

    Still, I'll let you know if it's any good.


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