My wife wants me to leave our home.

[gWaPito]

I agree with baby38, it could be the mother putting a spanner in the works by putting things into her head. I don't know all the details but if the relationship has spiralled out of control since her arrival it does seem a plausible explanation.

Quite possibly right both of you. She's definitely gained courage since she's been here just like when in Philippines in October. ..as soon as they were around the public humiliations started.
It's good in a way mother in law is here because if her presence has fast forwarded the inevitable then so be it. At least my boys are on British soil now..makes all the childish tantrums name calling, humiliation and head slapping all worthwhile....I ask you, if she got a problem with my baldness, old age, snoring ( which I've cured )and lack of natural libido why on earth did she marry me....she's assured me she ain't plastic, only saying the truth. ..she gave a good impression of being plastic before we married.

[joebloggs]

.I ask you, if she got a problem with my baldness, old age, snoring ( which I've cured )and lack of natural libido why on earth did she marry me....she's assured me she ain't plastic, only saying the truth. ..she gave a good impression of being plastic before we married.

i remember your wife Mark back in 2009, from what i can remember from then, she gave the impression she loved you, you both have 2 kids and lasted 4yrs, what went wrong i don't know

[gWaPito]

i remember your wife Mark back in 2009, from what i can remember from then, she gave the impress she loved you, you both have 2 kids and lasted 4yrs, what went wrong i don't know

I don't know either Joe. .I'm aware of our boys. .remember it's she who wants this. .she making living under the same roof intolerable. .it's all her making. ..I've bent over backwards trying to please her. ..okay, adapting to the hectic busy way of British life does take some getting used to. .but we are like you said Joe, 4 years down the line. ..yes she misses her family but then don't they all. ..it's selfish childish behaviour. .I'm not going to give details on what she's done and said but, if you knew you would understand. ...like I said, whatever she wants she gets. ..my fault of course. .the signs were there from the off.

[imagine]

I don't know either Joe. .I'm aware of our boys. .remember it's she who wants this. .she making living under the same roof intolerable. .it's all her making. ..I've bent over backwards trying to please her. ..okay, adapting to the hectic busy way of British life does take some getting used to. .but we are like you said Joe, 4 years down the line. ..yes she misses her family but then don't they all. ..it's selfish childish behaviour. .I'm not going to give details on what she's done and said but, if you knew you would understand. ...like I said, whatever she wants she gets. ..my fault of course. .the signs were there from the off.

nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, they usualy give the impression to those outside that they are sweetness and light

[blackcat22]

Quite possibly right both of you. She's definitely gained courage since she's been here just like when in Philippines in October. ..as soon as they were around the public humiliations started.
It's good in a way mother in law is here because if her presence has fast forwarded the inevitable then so be it. At least my boys are on British soil now..makes all the childish tantrums name calling, humiliation and head slapping all worthwhile....I ask you, if she got a problem with my baldness, old age, snoring ( which I've cured )and lack of natural libido why on earth did she marry me....she's assured me she ain't plastic, only saying the truth. ..she gave a good impression of being plastic before we married.

hmm..the mother in-laws. My wife said her mother wanted to come an live with us in England when she eventually move here but even before reading this I know that is recipe for dissaster so have a cunning plan to make sure this doesn't hapen. Not even a visit, Just can't risk it.

Also, the timing of her bad behaviour towards you is a suspect. Has she already have her ILR? how come your snoring or whatever never bother her before in early stages of dating. Is it bcoz she is holding out until she gets ILR?

To weed out filipinos only after Brits to use for ILR? I have always advised Brits in early stage of relationship to make it clear to the filipino gfriends that you are the one who will move to live with her in the phils.(Ofcourse this is not true but this might reveal her true colours)

If you say you're the one who will move to her to start family in phils, within a few weeks/months the ones who are only after ILR will regard you as waste of space and dissappear to find another man. But if she still stays with you weeks/months after making it clear that you're the one to move to live with her in phils then clearly she is not after ILR and only after proper relationship. If you get this right at the begining, then you will save yourself a lot of headache later.

Make no mistake about it there are lots of filipinos out there willing to take advantage of us westerner foreigners for ILR and way out of phils and they will go to any lenghts including marry and yes have kids to conceal their true intentions. It's up to us find a way to figure them out and weed them out at the earliest opportunity in the relationship.

[joebloggs]

Make no mistake about it there are lots of filipinos out there willing to take advantage of us westerner foreigners for ILR and way out of phils and they will go to any lenghts including marry and yes have kids to conceal their true intentions. It's up to us find a way to figure them out and weed them out at the earliest opportunity in the relationship.

one of the reasons that its 5yrs in the UK now until your spouse can get ILR, also stops them claiming certain benefits for 5yrs,

its a good and bad thing, weeds out some abusers but maybe unfair on some who have made the UK their home for 4 or near 5yrs and are at the mercy of their spouse until they get ILR.

[gWaPito]

one of the reasons that its 5yrs in the UK now until your spouse can get ILR, also stops them claiming certain benefits for 5yrs,

its a good and bad thing, weeds out some abusers but maybe unfair on some who have made the UK their home for 4 or near 5yrs and are at the mercy of their spouse until they get ILR.

I don't think the 3 to 5 years is going to make much difference. ...what's another 2 years on top?

[blackcat22]

I don't think the 3 to 5 years is going to make much difference. ...what's another 2 years on top?

To be fair our government introduced the 5yr rule to help us weed out the ones only after ILR. Personally I think this should be 10yrs wait before ILR to discourage the ones only hunting for ILR a bit more as they seems to be able to ride out the 5yrs with ease then they STRIKE with venom like a poisnous snake. but ultimately it's down to us to weed ILR hunters out at very early stage of the relationship before they arrive here. There is limit to how the government can help. We can use various means to do this, one of which I've mentioned above in my earlier post.

[gWaPito]

To be fair our government introduced the 5yr rule to help us weed out the ones only after ILR.

Some may think this extension unfair We or rather I, have Indian friends from the church..they've been living here since the 80s and they can not get ILR..they have to renew their visa every 5 or 10 years

[gWaPito]

one of the reasons that its 5yrs in the UK now until your spouse can get ILR, also stops them claiming certain benefits for 5yrs,

its a good and bad thing, weeds out some abusers but maybe unfair on some who have made the UK their home for 4 or near 5yrs and are at the mercy of their spouse until they get ILR.

This is not the case Joe

For example.....A filipina here on a spouse visa and she has child/children....The husband turns out to be an abuser. The filipina and children can then go to a womens refuge/shelter for the abused....best look online, they are all interlinked Nationwide.

If she's genuine, her case worker will get her, her British Citizenship (government funded) and social housing along with sorting out her benefits.

I'm not sure whether the pinay has to have ILR first before being allowed into a shelter..which begs the question, if she hasn't, where does she go to escape the abuser?....I'll hazard a guess, that she'll still get into the shelter and still get her Government funded ILR.

[joebloggs]

This is not the case Joe

For example.....A filipina here on a spouse visa and she has child/children....The husband turns out to be an abuser. The filipina and children can then go to a womens refuge/shelter for the abused....best look online, they are all interlinked Nationwide.

If she's genuine, her case worker will get her, her British Citizenship (government funded) and social housing along with sorting out her benefits.

I'm not sure whether the pinay has to have ILR first before being allowed into a shelter..which begs the question, if she hasn't, where does she go to escape the abuser?....I'll hazard a guess, that she'll still get into the shelter and still get her Government funded ILR.

gWapito if she is a victim of domestic violence why should she go back to her own country ? its not her fault her husband is violent and she would need evidence of domestic violence, doctors report, police report etc. they have a right to be protected especially if they have children who are British citizens

also if not a victim of DV, and they have children she can apply for 'best interests of the child' to stay and see her child.


no they don't need ILR, they need to be a victim of domestic violence.


5yrs is along time, not many will stay with someone they dont like for 5yrs just to get ilr !, sure it happens but going from my experience on here , that's rare, and if you have concerns about your wife just wanting ILR then you've got doubts about your relationship ,why did you marry in the first place

also 5yrs is unfair what happens if your spouse works straight away when she arrives in the UK, shes paid tax for 5yrs before she can claim any benefits , yet Europeans working in the UK can after months

[gWaPito]

gWapito if she is a victim of domestic violence why should she go back to her own country ? its not her fault her husband is violent and she would need evidence of domestic violence, doctors report, police report etc. they have a right to be protected especially if they have children who are British citizens

also if not a victim of DV, and they have children she can apply for 'best interests of the child' to stay and see her child.


no they don't need ILR, they need to be a victim of domestic violence.


5yrs is along time, not many will stay with someone they dont like for 5yrs just to get ilr !, sure it happens but going from my experience on here , that's rare, and if you have concerns about your wife just wanting ILR then you've got doubts about your relationship ,why did you marry in the first place

also 5yrs is unfair what happens if your spouse works straight away when she arrives in the UK, shes paid tax for 5yrs before she can claim any benefits , yet Europeans working in the UK can after months

Joe, I DID NOT imply it was wrong for filipina to stay here and get protection without ILR

What I said was, I wasn't sure on the legal aspect,

She would NOT NEED doctor's and/or police reports to be believed to gain entry into a refuge..I know!!...Although, if you have not such documentation, it would help your cause if you turn't up at an unearthly hour with babies under your arm. The benefits far outweigh the inconvienence

Once they are in the refuge they have total protection against everybody including the authorities...In my case, it took roughly 10 weeks for the legal wheels to start moving.

I'm not rubbishing these establishments They serve the honest and law abiding well

[joebloggs]

She would NOT NEED doctor's and/or police reports to be believed to gain entry into a refuge..I know!!...Although, if you have not such documentation, it would help you cause if you turn't up at an unearthly hour with babies under your arm. The benefits far outweigh the inconvienence

i wasn't talking about a refuge, i was talking about her staying in the UK if their relationship broke down. she WOULD NEED evidence of DV if she wanted to stay in this country and apply for FLR\ILR.

[gWaPito]

hmm..the mother in-laws. My wife said her mother wanted to come an live with us in England when she eventually move here but even before reading this I know that is recipe for dissaster so have a cunning plan to make sure this doesn't hapen. Not even a visit, Just can't risk it.

Also, the timing of her bad behaviour towards you is a suspect. Has she already have her ILR? how come your snoring or whatever never bother her before in early stages of dating. Is it bcoz she is holding out until she gets ILR?

To weed out filipinos only after Brits to use for ILR? I have always advised Brits in early stage of relationship to make it clear to the filipino gfriends that you are the one who will move to live with her in the phils.(Ofcourse this is not true but this might reveal her true colours)

If you say you're the one who will move to her to start family in phils, within a few weeks/months the ones who are only after ILR will regard you as waste of space and dissappear to find another man. But if she still stays with you weeks/months after making it clear that you're the one to move to live with her in phils then clearly she is not after ILR and only after proper relationship. If you get this right at the begining, then you will save yourself a lot of headache later.

Make no mistake about it there are lots of filipinos out there willing to take advantage of us westerner foreigners for ILR and way out of phils and they will go to any lenghts including marry and yes have kids to conceal their true intentions. It's up to us find a way to figure them out and weed them out at the earliest opportunity in the relationship.

Thanks for that blackcat....I appreciate the time you spent.

There's no fool like an old fool. .as my dear old mother reminds each time I see her. ..bless :(

A rep on the way

Cheers
Gwaps

[tiger31]

hmm..the mother in-laws. My wife said her mother wanted to come an live with us in England when she eventually move here but even before reading this I know that is recipe for dissaster so have a cunning plan to make sure this doesn't hapen. Not even a visit, Just can't risk it.

Also, the timing of her bad behaviour towards you is a suspect. Has she already have her ILR? how come your snoring or whatever never bother her before in early stages of dating. Is it bcoz she is holding out until she gets ILR?

To weed out filipinos only after Brits to use for ILR? I have always advised Brits in early stage of relationship to make it clear to the filipino gfriends that you are the one who will move to live with her in the phils.(Ofcourse this is not true but this might reveal her true colours)

If you say you're the one who will move to her to start family in phils, within a few weeks/months the ones who are only after ILR will regard you as waste of space and dissappear to find another man. But if she still stays with you weeks/months after making it clear that you're the one to move to live with her in phils then clearly she is not after ILR and only after proper relationship. If you get this right at the begining, then you will save yourself a lot of headache later.

Make no mistake about it there are lots of filipinos out there willing to take advantage of us westerner foreigners for ILR and way out of phils and they will go to any lenghts including marry and yes have kids to conceal their true intentions. It's up to us find a way to figure them out and weed them out at the earliest opportunity in the relationship.

you are spot on with this ,I will worry about this when I bring my misus to the u.k wondering how she will handle the british culture and our sense of humour .your right when you say they can be very fragile and its worse because they are so far away from home and family .I think i,m ok as I told mine that I wanted to stay in the philippines and detected no signs of change to her attitude ,it was me that said to her after 2 years if she would like to experience the U.K and of course she said yes as most would do .I took her out of the country for the first time to hongkong and she loved it .

[gWaPito]

you are spot on with this ,I will worry about this when I bring my misus to the u.k wondering how she will handle the british culture and our sense of humour .your right when you say they can be very fragile and its worse because they are so far away from home and family .I think i,m ok as I told mine that I wanted to stay in the philippines and detected no signs of change to her attitude ,it was me that said to her after 2 years if she would like to experience the U.K and of course she said yes as most would do .I took her out of the country for the first time to hongkong and she loved it .

You'll only know when you get her here then you go out to work.....but, to be honest you look well suited, well matched..you've been with her for 3 years and you are living out there.

[stevewool]

Make no mistake about it there are lots of filipinos out there willing to take advantage of us westerner foreigners for ILR and way out of phils and they will go to any lengths including marry and yes have kids to conceal their true intentions. It's up to us find a way to figure them out and weed them out at the earliest opportunity in the relationship.

wow , i have got to reply to this, what about the filthy dirty men who just goes out there with there dicks sticking them anywhere they can, saying this and that and making promises, but just want to bed the women,and then bring them here and guess what they get bored or just settle in there bored old ways, have you thought that could get the ladies pissed off, works both ways i say, just my thoughts, dont mean to offend anyone
any marrige can and do break down but you move on,

[mickcant]

hmm..the mother in-laws. My wife said her mother wanted to come an live with us in England when she eventually move here but even before reading this I know that is recipe for dissaster so have a cunning plan to make sure this doesn't hapen. Not even a visit, Just can't risk it.

Also, the timing of her bad behaviour towards you is a suspect. Has she already have her ILR? how come your snoring or whatever never bother her before in early stages of dating. Is it bcoz she is holding out until she gets ILR?

To weed out filipinos only after Brits to use for ILR? I have always advised Brits in early stage of relationship to make it clear to the filipino gfriends that you are the one who will move to live with her in the phils.(Ofcourse this is not true but this might reveal her true colours)

If you say you're the one who will move to her to start family in phils, within a few weeks/months the ones who are only after ILR will regard you as waste of space and dissappear to find another man. But if she still stays with you weeks/months after making it clear that you're the one to move to live with her in phils then clearly she is not after ILR and only after proper relationship. If you get this right at the begining, then you will save yourself a lot of headache later.

Make no mistake about it there are lots of filipinos out there willing to take advantage of us westerner foreigners for ILR and way out of phils and they will go to any lenghts including marry and yes have kids to conceal their true intentions. It's up to us find a way to figure them out and weed them out at the earliest opportunity in the relationship.

Hi Blackcat, you could have been writing about me and my ex wife there!

The only difference is that she could not wait the time required to get ILR, she used my love for her as a way of extracting money.

She had a baby with her Filipino boyfriend in between us marrying in the Philippines and finally arriving in the UK.

I divorced her after she left to live with Filipino friends (she suddenly found) her visa ran out 2 years ago but I think is still in the UK.
Mick.

[joebloggs]

Hi Blackcat, you could have been writing about me and my ex wife there!

The only difference is that she could not wait the time required to get ILR, she used my love for her as a way of extracting money.

She had a baby with her Filipino boyfriend in between us marrying in the Philippines and finally arriving in the UK.

I divorced her after she left to live with Filipino friends (she suddenly found) her visa ran out 2 years ago but I think is still in the UK.
Mick.

you situation was bad Mick, but like i said its rare, i think after 7yrs on here, i know of probably a handful of people this has happened to out of 100's

[tiger31]

Hi Blackcat, you could have been writing about me and my ex wife there!

The only difference is that she could not wait the time required to get ILR, she used my love for her as a way of extracting money.

She had a baby with her Filipino boyfriend in between us marrying in the Philippines and finally arriving in the UK.

I divorced her after she left to live with Filipino friends (she suddenly found) her visa ran out 2 years ago but I think is still in the UK.
Mick.

if I was in your shoes i,d hunt her down and get her kicked out the country I know its been 2 years but she clearly used you and does not deserve to be here.

[joebloggs]

if I was in your shoes i,d hunt her down and get her kicked out the country I know its been 2 years but she clearly used you and does not deserve to be here.

i think Micks done all he can do, hes reported it to the HO, its up to them to find and deport her, if she is still here

[mickcant]

i think Micks done all he can do, hes reported it to the HO, its up to them to find and deport her, if she is still here

Thanks Joe,
Yes the UKBA just not intrested.
Mick.