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Thread: My wife wants me to leave our home.

  1. #151
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    WOW............ Nothing I can do or say, but my thoughts are with you and I hope everything works out.
    Fingers crossed it's as simple as she needs some space to get her thoughts in order.


  2. #152
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    Sorry to say....this is what I thought might happen.

    The ex did the same to me. That's why you need their (childrens') passports and a court order to prevent them from being taken out of the country.

    Good luck my friend. We can only be spectators, sad to say. Contacting the police straight away would be a very good idea...like NOW !

    I would also contact your local council Social Services.


  3. #153
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    I agree with Graham - Police now..... children removed ill equipped by mentally unstable mother. Has she got the passports ?


  4. #154
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    gWaPito, I have removed your telephone number.
    Not good to have that posted on a public forum. You can be sure that sars will get to see it when she logs in.

    Take care of yourself.
    Don't wait. Call police now.


  5. #155
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Wow, what a mess, I hope you get this resolved one way or the other. I just can't imagine what you must be going through at the moment and I sincerely hope things start to get better soon. All the best for a satisfactory outcome!


  6. #156
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    yes contact police now, it could be she arranged to meet her mum at the airport


  7. #157
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    Well at least they'll know which airport and/or flight.


  8. #158
    Respected Member bigmarco's Avatar
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    Sorry to read this Mark.
    I hope you've had some positive news by now.


  9. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigmarco View Post
    Sorry to read this Mark.
    I hope you've had some positive news by now.
    Nothing yet Marco...Been with the police best part of 6 hours...she left with no money...no baby food, just a case with a few nappies and babies clothes...im in hell

    I have to wait now...not knowing if my boys are safe or not.


  10. #160
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    If anybody here knows of my wife's and two babies whereabouts or any information no matter how you insignificant you think it is, I beg you to contact the Wiltshire Police on 101

    Tell them you are contacting them in relation to a reporting of a missing wife and two babies yesterday afternoon 24 June at Gable Cross Police Station.

    The police need to ensure the babies safety.

    Regards
    Mark


  11. #161
    Respected Member Michael Parnham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    yes contact police now, it could be she arranged to meet her mum at the airport
    I had the exact same thought, after all they can speak freely in whatever dialect that suits them at any time, remember mother and daughter, never a closer bond!


  12. #162
    Respected Member tone's Avatar
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    Hi Mate - OMG she must have gone with the mother in law?!

    I hope you are closer to tracking them down.

    Best wishes mate!


  13. #163
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Gwaps.. I hope you took the excellent advice given here in regards the kids passports etc etc.
    If you did then at least the kids are still in the U.K.. Somewhere!
    If you didn't then there is a possibility they are already back in the R.P.
    Do you think she had the funds available for flights for herself and the kids? Has the old bill checked all passengers to the R.P from UK on the day your mother in law left?
    How does she think she can support herself and the 2 children there long term?? Any ideas?
    Something doesn't add up to me.. Filipinos are usually realistic thinkers.. They don't usually go back home to nothing if they can help it.. Its not easy to live over here without a steady income!
    Just saying.


  14. #164
    Respected Member imagine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fred View Post
    Gwaps.. I hope you took the excellent advice given here in regards the kids passports etc etc.
    If you did then at least the kids are still in the U.K.. Somewhere!
    If you didn't then there is a possibility they are already back in the R.P.
    Do you think she had the funds available for flights for herself and the kids? Has the old bill checked all passengers to the R.P from UK on the day your mother in law left?
    How does she think she can support herself and the 2 children there long term?? Any ideas?
    Something doesn't add up to me.. Filipinos are usually realistic thinkers.. They don't usually go back home to nothing if they can help it.. Its not easy to live over here without a steady income!
    Just saying.
    i think she will have the funds she needs, and i think this has been planned for sometime sorry


  15. #165
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by imagine View Post
    i think she will have the funds she needs, and i think this has been planned for sometime sorry
    , Stewart ... THOSE are MY feelings too!! Given she's failed in her attempts to get Mark to leave their house then ... ... she possibly feels "going home" to the Phils is the only alternative recourse open to her now.


  16. #166
    Respected Member Ako Si Jamie's Avatar
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    Sorry Mark, I know I'm being blunt but I'm only trying to help.

    It's a possibility that the mothers departure could have been a decoy to make you think that your missus has gone to the Philippines when really she hasn't. I said this before but I reckon she has another fella and that's where she's at now, probably not too far away.


  17. #167
    Respected Member malditako's Avatar
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    Speculations wont help god knows where she is....what gwapito needs now is how he could find her and his kids.

    I know nothing about her but putting myself on her shoes...i would go insane as hell...loaded looking after kids, failing marriage, financially dependent with husband who may to limit support, away from family, probably dealing with post natal depression. Duh! Just saying!....


  18. #168
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    Great news, the police found all 3 of them safe and well this lunch time.


  19. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by malditako View Post
    Speculations wont help god knows where she is....what gwapito needs now is how he could find her and his kids.

    I know nothing about her but putting myself on her shoes...i would go insane as hell...loaded looking after kids, failing marriage, financially dependent with husband who may to limit support, away from family, probably dealing with post natal depression. Duh! Just saying!....
    Possibly right about the depression..hopefully, for all our sakes, she will allow that to be looked into.


  20. #170
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    Where on earth were/are they Gwaps?


  21. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamieXXXmaria View Post
    Sorry Mark, I know I'm being blunt but I'm only trying to help.

    It's a possibility that the mothers departure could have been a decoy to make you think that your missus has gone to the Philippines when really she hasn't. I said this before but I reckon she has another fella and that's where she's at now, probably not too far away.
    Mother in laws departure was a prompt for action coupled with the fact there was a good week's worth of washing and ironing to get through and the house was a mess.
    I dont think it was planned too far ahead for she only had 2.5 hrs to play with until i arrived back from airport.
    Would of been far better waiting until I went back to work...I'm sure it was on impluse and sadness of losing her mother for goodness knows how many years.
    Heartbreaking to think she took our babies from their cots to place in a taxi with a stranger driving..our 2 yo James must of been terrified. The police told me this yesterday teatime so you can imagine what I was going through.
    I was going out of my mind with worry for 34 hours. Thank God for our police service.


  22. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by fred View Post
    Where on earth were/are they Gwaps?
    Police can't tell me...all they can say is the police called on them.. they are safe and well...the only way i can get in touch is through a solicitor. The police lady was going to call me back with further info...she didn't..so I'll have to start the ball rolling My concern is getting my child access sorted as soon as possible....my heart is telling me to trust her but, I can't...I can't wait until she instructs a solicitor..that could be weeks away..in that time my baby boys would of forgotten me!!!!

    The British laws are excellent on this..parental rights are a human right


  23. #173
    Moderator fred's Avatar
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    The British laws are excellent on this..parental rights are a human right
    Really?
    So if it were you that had of snatched the kids,thrown em in the back of a cab and deprived the mother of seeing them ,the Police wouldn't have had a different attitude?
    Do you really think that she would only be able to contact you and the kids via a solicitor?
    You being a man would probably now be in a 6X4 cell facing child abduction charges..
    Human rights my ass!!


  24. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by fred View Post
    Gwaps.. I hope you took the excellent advice given here in regards the kids passports etc etc.
    If you did then at least the kids are still in the U.K.. Somewhere!
    If you didn't then there is a possibility they are already back in the R.P.
    Do you think she had the funds available for flights for herself and the kids? Has the old bill checked all passengers to the R.P from UK on the day your mother in law left?
    How does she think she can support herself and the 2 children there long term?? Any ideas?
    Something doesn't add up to me.. Filipinos are usually realistic thinkers.. They don't usually go back home to nothing if they can help it.. Its not easy to live over here without a steady income!
    Just saying.
    Given my recent experience I no longer paint all with the same brush...although I tend to agree with the realistic thinking...this is what she has said in the past..'why would I go back to Philippines when you could leave me financially high and dry'...there is no enforceable financial agreement between our countries.
    She has no intention going back to sunshine and poverty especially with the system here. It took guts to do what she did, I know I couldn't of done it...She'll be in line government housing now.


  25. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by fred View Post
    Really?
    So if it were you that had of snatched the kids,thrown em in the back of a cab and deprived the mother of seeing them ,the Police wouldn't have had a different attitude?
    Do you really think that she would only be able to contact you and the kids via a solicitor?
    You being a man would probably now be in a 6X4 cell facing child abduction charges..
    Human rights my ass!!
    Yes, you are right Fred...I'm not sure what police said to her. Thing is, if she's told them I'm a wife beater they are hardly going to give her a hard time...what normal mother would drag their babies from their cots etc etc in the middle of the night without reason??....thinking about it now, it probably was all planned


  26. #176
    Respected Member SimonH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gWaPito View Post
    Mother in laws departure was a prompt for action coupled with the fact there was a good week's worth of washing and ironing to get through and the house was a mess.
    Glad they've all been found safe and sound firstly.
    Been trying to think of a way of putting this delicately, but I can't; so here goes. Your attitude by saying what you did comes across as almost Victorian (me Tarzan, you Jane). You've said that you think she maybe suffering either depression or post natal depression and yet you've watched the washing build up and say that the house was a mess. Did you or have you ever said to her, do you want a hand with that or maybe just put some clothes in the machine?


  27. #177
    Trusted Member stevewool's Avatar
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    well the police have found them that is all that matters so far, they are safe and hopefully well,
    Mark it is time to say to yourself the marriage is over but you both have the children to sort out, that my friend takes time and money, take one day at a time


  28. #178
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    Thankfully Mark, all 3 are safe and well.


  29. #179
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    Quote Originally Posted by SimonH View Post
    Glad they've all been found safe and sound firstly.
    Been trying to think of a way of putting this delicately, but I can't; so here goes. Your attitude by saying what you did comes across as almost Victorian (me Tarzan, you Jane). You've said that you think she maybe suffering either depression or post natal depression and yet you've watched the washing build up and say that the house was a mess. Did you or have you ever said to her, do you want a hand with that or maybe just put some clothes in the machine?
    No offense taken Simon.

    Simon, I got mother in law here mainly to help around the house..I was giving her money to do it. I did both families a favour.

    Bearing in mind I'm working and with travel back and forth amounted to 80 weeks. Before mother arrived in March I was spending my rest days catching up with house work and ironing into the small hours.

    I was doing this coz I could see Jane struggling to cope with everyday life..this is why i spent another bunch of thousands getting her mother here.

    Since April I've been sleeping on the sofa just to keep the household quiet for my boys.

    Animosity towards me had reached fever pitch in recent days...such was the desire to get me to leave my house.....I was hardly going to stick around in a house where the wife is calling me all the effs and C's under the sun in front of the boys while doing, as you suggested, putting the hoover around and doing the laundry.


  30. #180
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    Quote Originally Posted by stevewool View Post
    well the police have found them that is all that matters so far, they are safe and hopefully well,
    Mark it is time to say to yourself the marriage is over but you both have the children to sort out, that my friend takes time and money, take one day at a time
    Taking one day at a time is my only choice now if i want to keep my sanity.

    Yesterday I was so relieved the Wiltshire Police found them, I slept nigh on 9 hours straight.

    On waking, new worries started to dawn on me..like you said Steve, sorting child access. Now, if she did go to a refuge she is bound to of told them she was getting abused which means I got to prove I wasn't

    This is all so terrible..even my dear mum in tears here..I've haven't put a hand on her. She's using my past illness of Bi Polar Disorder and then putting it together with lies of abuse.

    I now have to spend more thousands on solicitor fees getting access to see my babies who will more than likely would of forgotten me by the time I get permission.

    I will be treated like a criminal..I will only get limited, supervised access at first..All thanks to Jane's lies.

    I'm so heartbroken...My 81yo mother is heartbroken, they are her grandchildren too.

    In this world, only the dishonest prosper


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