Thanks bigmarco. ..there are no plans for the house, Marco. .that's all out the window. ..I was explaining what the plan was.
We have a works hot line for employees with troubles. .it goes to a central office so all is supposed to stay within 4 walls. I don't want to involve work Marco. .they know of what's going on. .I owe them at least that..they've been good to me. ..especially when I first hooked up with Jane in the January for a 3 week holiday and I didn't return to work until April...they could of fired me.
What do I do if I'm not working Marco? If I go to mum's all I get is. ..'you lost all that money....how the mighty have fallen' blah blah blah. ...then she tells me, it's alright Mark, it'll sort itself out. .does my head in! ...go to see my ex wife and her boyfriend ...I don't think so. .honestly, how sad is this. ..all I got is work and you guys. ..it's a fifty minute drive to work from my house. ..that's spent bawling like a pathetic baby all the way there coz that effing cow won't let me get close to my babies.
Never in a million years did I ever think I'd be stupid, sad and lonely enough to get mixed up with someone like this.
I used to be such a proud man. .I was self confident...even family came to me for advice about money. ..I've totally screwed up everything.
Don't worry Marco. .im a professional, the boys will need me, will need them. I won't mess this job up. ...I save all the outpouring for back and forth to work. I'm looking after myself. .. I intend being around for many years yet Marco.
My Daughter Emma says come dad, you can become what you once was. ..it's just I crumple when I think of my babies. .God, I'm typing this now upset ...still, it's good I'm told, good to talk and get it off my chest. ..no more isolation, ever!