My wife wants me to leave our home.

[blackcat22]

gWapito, like joebloggs pointed out. while there are some horror stories there are also many many examples of success stories on this forum that you can draw strength from. I know it's hard after you thought you were home and dry and then this happened and having to start all over again(numerous flights back and forth to phils to start a new courtship, the predicament of applying for spouse VISA again which is no longer so easy...etc). Just concentrate yourself on only reading the success stories to bring yourself in a positive frame of mind. I know a german friend same thing happened to, after she brought the filipina to germany, her behavour changed and she left her german husband. He dusted himself up and returned back to courtship the more wiser and now he got a fantantic cebuana filipina who loves him for what he is and gave him a child and she was not least interested in moving to germany. She is just as content living with her german husband their in Cebu in the palatial condo he bought to raise their child. Later they moved to germany but it was his descision, not a descision driven by the filipina wife. Now she got her german ILR but still she never changed her behaviour to her german husband still the same loving filipina to her husband before and after the ILR [He is 56yrs and she is 20yrs old]

The positive thing about your situation is that you got two beautiful children from her in exchange for whatever she got out of you. I know some Brits who got nothing out at all while the filipina making all sorts of excuses NOT to have children with their Brit husband and just ride out the 5yr then dissappeared after getting ILR.

Someone can correct me if i'm wrong but I think if the marriage mysteriously breaks down shortly after obtaining ILR, the ILR conditions have a clause which says it can be revoked if the husband reported it. I think this is last line of defence our government is using to try and protect us from ILR hunters.

[joebloggs]

i thinks its very rare for ILR to be revoked unless it could be proved it was obtained by using deception,

[gWaPito]

gWapito if she is a victim of domestic violence why should she go back to her own country ? its not her fault her husband is violent and she would need evidence of domestic violence, doctors report, police report etc. they have a right to be protected especially if they have children who are British citizens

also if not a victim of DV, and they have children she can apply for 'best interests of the child' to stay and see her child.


no they don't need ILR, they need to be a victim of domestic violence.


5yrs is along time, not many will stay with someone they dont like for 5yrs just to get ilr !, sure it happens but going from my experience on here , that's rare, and if you have concerns about your wife just wanting ILR then you've got doubts about your relationship ,why did you marry in the first place

also 5yrs is unfair what happens if your spouse works straight away when she arrives in the UK, shes paid tax for 5yrs before she can claim any benefits , yet Europeans working in the UK can after months

Joe, I DID NOT imply it was wrong for filipina to stay here and get protection without ILR

What I said was, I wasn't sure on the legal aspect,

She would NOT NEED doctor's and/or police reports to be believed to gain entry into a refuge..I know!!...Although, if you have not such documentation, it would help your cause if you turn't up at an unearthly hour with babies under your arm. The benefits far outweigh the inconvienence

Once they are in the refuge they have total protection against everybody including the authorities...In my case, it took roughly 10 weeks for the legal wheels to start moving.

I'm not rubbishing these establishments They serve the honest and law abiding well

[gWaPito]

gWapito, like joebloggs pointed out. while there are some horror stories there are also many many examples of success stories on this forum that you can draw strenght from.

The positive thing about your situation is that you got two beautiful children from her in exchange for whatever she got out of you.

I agree blackcat ..many success stories here as well

My boys make sense of all of it, really ...without my past, the good the bad and the ugly, they wouldn't be here.. for that, I'm grateful

[joebloggs]

She would NOT NEED doctor's and/or police reports to be believed to gain entry into a refuge..I know!!...Although, if you have not such documentation, it would help you cause if you turn't up at an unearthly hour with babies under your arm. The benefits far outweigh the inconvienence

i wasn't talking about a refuge, i was talking about her staying in the UK if their relationship broke down. she WOULD NEED evidence of DV if she wanted to stay in this country and apply for FLR\ILR.

[gWaPito]

i wasn't talking about a refuge, i was talking about her staying in the UK if their relationship broke down. she WOULD NEED evidence of DV if she wanted to stay in this country and apply for FLR\ILR.

She would need to gain entry to a refuge first..this is only place of protection against the abuser....After contacting the police, this would be the next course of action for all female victims of DV.

My wife didnt even call the police...when the police found her, they took her word for all she said..no questions asked...I was then deemed guilty until I was proven innocent 75 days at a cost to date of £5,689....what a wonderful legal system we have

I have another court hearing in December...That'll be another thousand or so..just in time for Christmas. This folks is just to establish on going contact with my boys...

'try to be positive'..... That's a laugh

[joebloggs]

i agree about the legal system, its only fair if you have the money to pay for it

the gov has recently changed some of the rules\procedures for DV, i know in the past it would be difficult for the spouse to apply for FLR\ILR if they had left the family home without reporting DV, looking at it i think that's changed now

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/si...settlement.pdf

[gWaPito]

i agree about the legal system, its only fair if you have the money to pay for it

the gov has recently changed some of the rules\procedures for DV, i know in the past it would be difficult for the spouse to apply for FLR\ILR if they had left the family home without reporting DV, looking at it i think that's changed now

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/si...settlement.pdf

Definitely Joe. ..looks like she was well up to speed on this....talk about military precision.

[malditako]

This situation be a lesson to those who wants to marry a foreigner....don't rush things into marriage. Internet love affair is far more different when you are together. Most often than not westerner jump to marry their filipino gf's after only a few months of knowing them online then marry the first they met simply b'coz they believe they are in love. Personally i dont believe in love at first sight...infatuation yes but love no. That takes time, effort and the willingness to be with that person no matter what. And thats what u call acceptance. Love is a choice...simple as that.

[grahamw48]

Very true malditako. (Some rep coming for that), though I'm not saying that is Mark's situation...every relationship being different.

An 'inter-cultural' relationship is challenging enough already, without taking some extra time and effort to get to know the other person properly, as well as their background, and general outlook on life.

Some people seem to me to be just in too much of a rush....and overly concerned about MONEY.

[joebloggs]

but marriage btw brits can just as easily end in divorce.

some interesting facts on marriage and divorce

Chance of divorce is greatest between the 4th and 8th wedding anniversaries




http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/vsob1/...-divorce.html#

[mickcant]

Very true malditako. (Some rep coming for that), though I'm not saying that is Mark's situation...every relationship being different.

An 'inter-cultural' relationship is challenging enough already, without taking some extra time and effort to get to know the other person properly, as well as their background, and general outlook on life.

Some people seem to me to be just in too much of a rush....and overly concerned about MONEY.

Thats it
Apart from wanting to meet a beautiful partner, even if you are well off and enjoy travelling
there is the "wish" to get things under way because of the distance, so if we are told what we want to hear well that is it for some of us.

With me I was 63 when I met my ex, had one trip there then went back the next year and married! (the rest is history) apart from my not being well off so did not think waiting for another trip necessary!

All life is a gamble it seems! I know a man who married during his first trip to the Philippines and the marriage is going strong.

Mick.

[gWaPito]

This situation be a lesson to those who wants to marry a foreigner....don't rush things into marriage. Internet love affair is far more different when you are together. Most often than not westerner jump to marry their filipino gf's after only a few months of knowing them online then marry the first they meet simply b'coz they believe they are in love. Personally i dont believe in love at first sight...infatuation yes but love no. That takes time, effort and the willingness to be with that person no matter what. And thats what u call acceptance. Love is a choice...simple as that.

It's not all the foreigner's fault ...pressure can comes from the filipina and sometimes her family as well....More than likely the old 'foreigner' (me) is actually in love...The probs started after ILR and went into overdrive when she got her sticky mits on the Holy Grail (British Passport)

Forget the 'infatuation'...forget the love story..there wasn't any on the woman's side..have a read of blackcat's posts ..he was nearer the truth of my situation...which is a shame I actually preferred your take on it

BTW..most of us Brits have come from marriages and relationships what have lasted, in my case, decades.

I know what effort is required to sustain a relationship over such a time..most of us 'lifers' do. If the other party doesn't share the same resiliance to the pressures of everyday life compared to the husband then, the relationship stands no chance.
In retrospect, the guy coming from the long term relationship has been spoilt..he will naturally think the new partner will be much like the first, a toughness and a willingness to get on with it and work together as a team...and why not? the filipina has in most cases has come from a tough background..a background most folks over here couldn't comprehend..thing I noticed over there was, thrift was the name of the game...all that changed here

[Terpe]

.......If the other party doesn't share the same resiliance to the pressures of everyday life compared to the husband then, the relationship stands no chance.....

Agree with this totally.
An essential part of any relationship.

Through thick and thin

[malditako]

there's a big difference between being "in love with the person" and "being in love with love"...and the latter always mistaken as a real love so when romance fades in a relationship the so called love fades as well.

[gWaPito]

there's a big difference between being "inlove with the person" and "being inlove with love"...and the latter always mistaken as a real love so when romance fades in a relationship the so called love fades as well.

Too much Barbara Cartland, Malditako

I appreciate you input ...you must be one of only 3 ladies to have said anything in public on this thread...although many in private

I've sent you a rep..it hasn't been credited as yet but, I have sent it!

[sheriel]

Quote from a friend of ours:

"when the money goes, so does the Filipina"

[gWaPito]

Quote from a friend of ours:

"when the money goes, so does the Filipina"

My money hadn't gone ...........she just had a better offer

[grahamw48]

Quote from a friend of ours:

"when the money goes, so does the Filipina"

[joebloggs]

Quote from a friend of ours:

"when the money goes, so does the Filipina"

with your pera

[grahamw48]

Sometimes I think we forget that there are Filipina members (and readers) of this forum.

[joebloggs]

Sometimes I think we forget that there are Filipina members (and readers) of this forum.

I've just deleted my reply in case the misses ever sees it

[sheriel]

We have seen it time and time again here in Cornwall, move on to the next man he has more Money, it happened to some of our friends

[Ako Si Jamie]

We have seen it time and time again here in Cornwall, move on to the next man he has more Money, it happened to some of our friends

That's the British women of today. No loyalty.

[sheriel]

No our friends are Filipinas here

[Ako Si Jamie]

No our friends are Filipinas here

Sounds like a couple of bad apples are living in Cornwall then.

[Terpe]

Quote from a friend of ours:

"when the money goes, so does the Filipina"

Well, I for one totally disagree with that sweeping statement.

[Arthur Little]

there's a big difference between being "in love with the person" and "being in love with love"...and the latter always mistaken as a real love so when romance fades in a relationship the so called love fades as well.

Too much Barbara Cartland, Malditako

I've sent you a rep.. *it hasn't been credited as yet but, I have sent it!

*It has now, Mark ... I've clicked AGAIN on the star underneath #345 ... indicating it was you who'd sent *it!

[gWaPito]

Sounds like a couple of bad apples are living in Cornwall then.

Got a couple of bad apples here in Swindon as well

[gWaPito]

*It has now, Mark ... I've clicked AGAIN on the star underneath #345 ... indicating it was you who'd sent *it!

Thanks Arthur