My wife wants me to leave our home.

[grahamw48]

Know how you feel mate...though mine lasted a bit longer.

[stevewool]

its good to read what you are saying now Mark, it takes time to realize what did go wrong and when it did too, sometimes we blame the wrong people for this and that , chin up mate, onwards and upwards is all that is needed now

[Michael Parnham]

Excellent post's Mark, Marco and Ian, it's just as though I'm sat among You Listening to your conversation!

[gWaPito]

its good to read what you are saying now Mark, it takes time to realize what did go wrong and when it did too, sometimes we blame the wrong people for this and that , chin up mate, onwards and upwards is all that is needed now

Thanks to my mood today you are getting the other side..Perhaps if i was busy at work I wouldn't be going down here
I'm using the forum like a confessional!!..haha..anyway, I feel better now I've off loaded that

[gWaPito]

Excellent post's Mark, Marco and Ian, it's just as though I'm sat among You Listening to your conversation!

Michael..you and the rest of the members here are all part of the conversation ....I've nothing to hide..I'm like anybody else. We all make mistakes..If one relationship can be saved because of what I've done then, bearing my soul on here has made it all worth while

[stevewool]

we all feel better knowing someone is there to listen, its funny how much you can tell someone that really does not know you but is there to tell you most of the time what you dont want to hear

[gWaPito]

we all feel better knowing someone is there to listen, its funny how much you can tell someone that really does not know you but is there to tell you most of the time what you dont want to hear

Yes, it is Steve and I do listen..it may take a few days to sink in as is usual with me but, I do take on board all what you all say

[Michael Parnham]

Michael..you and the rest of the members here are all part of the conversation....I've nothing to hide..I'm like anybody else. We all make mistakes..If one relationship can be saved because of what I've done then, bearing my soul on here has made it all worth while

Too right Mark!

[marksroomspain]

My family was the root cause of my marriage break up..everything negative stemmed from them..I was stupid enough to be taken in by it.

My grown up kids blamed Jane for the reason for not coming around to see their brothers well, I've had my boys 5 times and still they won't come see their baby brothers..in fact now Jane's gone, they won't even come see their dad yet when Jane was here they made such a fuss about seeing me!!!

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself at the moment, I'm off work with a bad back..today being the first day, I just pray I will be well enough to have the boys in a few days time....I'm thinking all this was so unavoidable if I hadn't of been stupid enough to have been taken in

You know, I feel the same about her family..I know they have tried in the past to use her for money..Jane couldn't see it..Just like I couldn't see the way my family here in UK manipulated me.....our families caused so many problems..that was where all our arguements started from....Jane couldn't accept my kids texting me while she knew they hated her.....I too felt the same about her family..They knew that I knew what they were all about......They didn't want to help themselves no matter what money was given..instead of spending on business, it went on the usual....I made it plain that I knew they were taking the pee and it was going to stop.

At the expense of our wonderful beautiful children, Jane and I put family loyalties first.........I so wish I could turn the clock back.

The Swiss family Robinson had it all worked out

I hope buddy you now see things more clearly, infact I know you do, those that matter will always be there for you the rest I say can off

I also know you will do best by those little boys and you will definitely be a much stronger person and move forward from all the troubles you have had.

I never forget friends who are willing to listen to others problems especially when they have so many of their own and you're a great guy Mark...

Take Care Buddy...

[gWaPito]

I hope buddy you now see things more clearly, infact I know you do, those that matter will always be there for you the rest I say can off

I also know you will do best by those little boys and you will definitely be a much stronger person and move forward from all the troubles you have had.

I never forget friends who are willing to listen to others problems especially when they have so many of their own and you're a great guy Mark...

Take Care Buddy...

Thank you Mark I wish I could give them a united, loving mum and dad because one day soon, that is what they will want above all else....at the moment the boys are still babies although the 2 yo is picking up on us not being together...the changeover is the most stressful time, I can see it in James's face

I grew up in an unstable background, so did Jane...Look at us now, both craving security, so much so that it's destroying us.....out of my 6 siblings, only 2 have kept the same husband....I do not want this dreadful circle to continue with our boys

[tiger31]

Thank you Mark I wish I could give them a united, loving mum and dad because one day soon, that is what they will want above all else....at the moment the boys are still babies although the 2 yo is picking up on us not being together...the changeover is the most stressful time, I can see it in James's face

I grew up in an unstable background, so did Jane...Look at us now, both craving security, so much so that it's destroying us.....out of my 6 siblings, only 2 have kept the same husband....I do not want this dreadful circle to continue with our boys

mark just for the record there are far more step families than normal families and the gap is getting wider all the time .Its the sign of the times ,me my brother and sister all divorced but parents stayed together .I believe its the pressures of living in the 21st centuary thats to blame ,people here in the west are more selfish and materialistic ,its not until you have all the nice things in life and then your family dissintergrates that you realise what was more important but then its too late .my advice to you is dust your self down get back up and march forward learning of past mistakes helps to map out your future in my opinion .I am more happier now than when I had a nice life ,new car ,plenty of spare cash in my pockets .without good health and a family around you life is pretty meaningless .

[gWaPito]

mark just for the record there are far more step families than normal families and the gap is getting wider all the time .Its the sign of the times ,me my brother and sister all divorced but parents stayed together .I believe its the pressures of living in the 21st centuary thats to blame ,people here in the west are more selfish and materialistic ,its not until you have all the nice things in life and then your family dissintergrates that you realise what was more important but then its too late .my advice to you is dust your self down get back up and march forward learning of past mistakes helps to map out your future in my opinion .I am more happier now than when I had a nice life ,new car ,plenty of spare cash in my pockets .without good health and a family around you life is pretty meaningless .

Thanks Brian..you are so right.............It doesn't help that divorce is so easy and so available to everyone here in UK now.......it's as if why bother with the cost marriage guidance counselling when we can pay out nearly the same for a divorce and get a guranteed result.

I realised back in 2005 that all the material wealth in the world wasn't going to make me happy..I did have it all then but, like you said '' its not until you have all the nice things in life and then your family dissintergrates that you realise what was more important but then its too late .'' That is exactly what happened back then..unfortunately I didn't learn from those past mistakes twice ...hell, I'm laughing now, I should be crying!...Lets hope for forth time lucky...whenever that will be ..........what i have learnt is......leave the kids alone and stick to somebody near my own age

[joebloggs]

Thanks Brian..you are so right.............It doesn't help that divorce is so easy and so available to everyone here in UK now......

its not so easy to get divorced compared to how easy it is to get married

[gWaPito]

its not so easy to get divorced compared to how easy it is to get married

When you've been divorced as many times as me, I can assure you it's a piece of cake ...Joking aside It's still easy....my second one I did it online...I remember having to go down to the court sign some papers, swear on the bible and hand over some money..that was it

[SimonH]

Hi Gwaps, I've been reading the last few pages and keeping my mouth shut (for a change ) and all I can say now is that you're a bigger man than me
The way you've openly expressed what you feel is quite humbling and I sincerely hope that Jane has the opportunity to read this and appreciate the mistake she's making.
All the best mate

[mickcant]

When you've been divorced as many times as me, I can assure you it's a piece of cake ...Joking aside It's still easy....my second one I did it online...I remember having to go down to the court sign some papers, swear on the bible and hand over some money..that was it

I agree in the actual way of divorcing here in the UK is a simple process (if you both want it) but there is still a huge emotional price that goes with it.

With my Filipina ex I did divorce her but, I hoped it would have made her see what was happening, it did not because she just ignored the solicitors letters, that made it easy but dragged time out.

It might be more difficult for some now that Legal Aid has been stopped for most divorces except where violence has taken place, or it might just mean more false claims of domestic violence!!!!!

Mick.

[grahamw48]

I left it up to the ex to sort out a divorce if she wanted one, as basically I don't believe in divorce...don't ask me why, maybe because I DO believe in keeping to the vows you make when you get married, not least out of love and respect for your children, who's lives you have chosen to create and take responsibility for.

I agree, both divorce and marriage are too easy these days. Some may consider that society 'moving forward'. I don't.

[Arthur Little]

I agree, both divorce and marriage are too easy these days. Some may consider that society 'moving forward'. I don't.

, Graham. Used to be that, "come hail or high water - through thick and thin" - most couples stuck together. NOW, though, "Marry in haste ... repent at leisure" no longer carries the same significance. Gone are the days when the latter half of this age~old cliche' applies ... in the UK, at least, where divorce is increasingly being granted all too readily - often on the flimsiest of grounds.

Several years after being widowed, for instance, I started going to 'Singles Dances' and was aghast to discover that more than two thirds of the men and women attending these social evenings were either separated or divorced - as opposed to those who had been widowed or never married - leading me to realise, for the first time, the amount of truth in the statements I'd previously heard ... that "one in three marriages nowadays, ends up on the rocks"!

[fred]

I left it up to the ex to sort out a divorce if she wanted one, as basically I don't believe in divorce...don't ask me why, maybe because I DO believe in keeping to the vows you make when you get married, not least out of love and respect for your children, who's lives you have chosen to create and take responsibility for.

I agree, both divorce and marriage are too easy these days. Some may consider that society 'moving forward'. I don't.

Agreed... I feel exactly the same...Always have.

[lordna]

I left it up to the ex to sort out a divorce if she wanted one, as basically I don't believe in divorce...don't ask me why, maybe because I DO believe in keeping to the vows you make when you get married, not least out of love and respect for your children, who's lives you have chosen to create and take responsibility for.

I agree, both divorce and marriage are too easy these days. Some may consider that society 'moving forward'. I don't.

I also agree!

[tiger31]

I left it up to the ex to sort out a divorce if she wanted one, as basically I don't believe in divorce...don't ask me why, maybe because I DO believe in keeping to the vows you make when you get married, not least out of love and respect for your children, who's lives you have chosen to create and take responsibility for.

I agree, both divorce and marriage are too easy these days. Some may consider that society 'moving forward'. I don't.

I find that a very strange thing to say Graham not believing in divorce, if a relationship breaks down you,re for you both to stay together and be miserable for the rest of your lives ? In an ideal world yes, but this is the 21st century and its not like the old days no more. I will tell you whats contributed to easy marriage break downs. mobile phones, social media sites, and the keep up with the jones brigade, you know the type the materialistic ones which put untold pressure on ones finances all those things combined makes staying with one partner harder in this world. In the old days a man could go out and earn a living wage and support his family on one wage while mom stays at home and looks after the kids, but those days are gone forever, and along with it the value of marriage .people are too selfish these days and just want and want the latest gadgets etc etc ,and then the costs of running a house just adds more pressure of a marriage lasting .

[fred]

I also agree!

Lordna..
I'm just quoting that so he can see it!!

[gWaPito]

I left it up to the ex to sort out a divorce if she wanted one, as basically I don't believe in divorce...don't ask me why, maybe because I DO believe in keeping to the vows you make when you get married, not least out of love and respect for your children, who's lives you have chosen to create and take responsibility for.

I agree, both divorce and marriage are too easy these days. Some may consider that society 'moving forward'. I don't.

I agree ....I know for a fact my parents marriage wouldn't of lasted the 63 years it did with easy affordable divorce we have on life's menu today

There's a thread about today about being in a Filipina/Brit relationship........My reasoning was, I wanted to marry one person that would last a lifetime... it was my understanding that Filipinas take their marriage vows seriously....I must of come across a bunch of bad apples

[gWaPito]

I find that a very strange thing to say graham not believing in divorce, if a relationship breaks down your for you both to stay together and be miserable for the rest of your life ? in an ideal world yes but this is the 21st century and its not like the old days no more. I will tell you whats contributed to easy marriage break downs. mobile phones, social media sites, and the keep up with the jones brigade, you know the type the materialistic ones which put untold pressure on ones finances all those things combined makes staying with one partner harder in this world. In the old days a man could go out and earn a living wage and support his family on one wage while mom stays at home and looks after the kids, but those days are gone forever, and along with it the value of marriage .people are too selfish these days and just want and want the latest gadgets etc etc ,and then the costs of running a house just adds more pressure of a marriage lasting .

Brian..I've seen these mums first hand in the play areas....all consumed with the bloody phones or devices as they are more widely known as today

Gone are the days when mum would be happy playing mum and being the attentive wife

[bigmarco]

My family was the root cause of my marriage break up..everything negative stemmed from them..I was stupid enough to be taken in by it.

My grown up kids blamed Jane for the reason for not coming around to see their brothers well, I've had my boys 5 times and still they won't come see their baby brothers..in fact now Jane's gone, they won't even come see their dad yet when Jane was here they made such a fuss about seeing me!!!

I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself at the moment, I'm off work with a bad back..today being the first day, I just pray I will be well enough to have the boys in a few days time....I'm thinking all this was so unavoidable if I hadn't of been stupid enough to have been taken in

You know, I feel the same about her family..I know they have tried in the past to use her for money..Jane couldn't see it..Just like I couldn't see the way my family here in UK manipulated me.....our families caused so many problems..that was where all our arguements started from....Jane couldn't accept my kids texting me while she knew they hated her.....I too felt the same about her family..They knew that I knew what they were all about......They didn't want to help themselves no matter what money was given..instead of spending on business, it went on the usual....I made it plain that I knew they were taking the pee and it was going to stop.

At the expense of our wonderful beautiful children, Jane and I put family loyalties first.........I so wish I could turn the clock back.

The Swiss family Robinson had it all worked out

Interesting read that Mark.
I can only give you a rep for that but I wish I could send a copy of that to Jane.
I sincerely hope she has been in as a reflective mood as you have been in the past weeks.

[gWaPito]

Interesting read that Mark.
I can only give you a rep for that but I wish I could send a copy of that to Jane.
I sincerely hope she has been in as a reflective mood as you have been in the past weeks.

Thank you Marco..........Jane will know about this.

BTW...Thank you for the rep Marco....I can't give one back just yet. I've issued too many in the last 24hrs :-)

[gWaPito]

Christmas has turn't out awful. Just going to my mum's now while my siblings are still there. I'll fill you in later

[grahamw48]

Oh noooooo !

[gWaPito]

I just want to set the record straight. The main reason why my wife left me was because of social networking. I was getting too familiar with her girlfriends and cousins, the stupid man I am.

Yes, I did hit her...I did it once and once only...that happened 15 months before she left me. I wont make excuses for my action. I never laid a hand on any other woman before..came totally out the blue

Jane is just a few weeks away from being able to apply for her decree absolute

I'm sorry and sad as I still love her.....for the past 5 weeks, just before the boys' birthdays in May, we'd been getting on well...having coffees and a weekend away, I thought we were getting back together again. Tonight via text she told me she's got a bf of 8 weeks whom she loves. That's it Mark..we are finished

[les_taxi]

Sorry to hear this Gwapito