Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: Qoutes from American Courtrooms

  1. #1
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Devon - no - Oxford - no - Stalybridge - no - errr - UK
    Posts
    2,479
    Rep Power
    88

    Smile Qoutes from American Courtrooms

    These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ..........

    Q: Are you sexually active?
    A: No, I just lie there.
    __________________________________
    Q: What is your date of birth?
    A: July 15th.
    Q: What year?
    A: Every year.
    _________________________________
    Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
    A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
    ______________________________________
    Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
    A: I forget.
    Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
    _____________________________________
    Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
    A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
    Q: How long has he lived with you?
    A: Forty-five years.
    _____________________________________
    Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
    A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
    Q: And why did that upset you?
    A: My name is Susan.
    _____________________________________
    Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
    A: We both do.
    Q: Voodoo?
    A: We do.
    Q: You do?
    A: Yes, voodoo.
    ____________________________________
    Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
    A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
    ___________________________________
    Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
    ___________________________________
    Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
    _________________________________
    Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
    A: Yes.
    Q: And what were you doing at that time?
    __________________________________
    Q: She had three children, right?
    A: Yes.
    Q: How many were boys?
    A: None.
    Q: Were there any girls?
    ___________________________________
    Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
    A: By death.
    Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
    ______________________________________
    Q: Can you describe the individual?
    A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
    Q: Was this a male, or a female?
    _____________________________________
    Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a dposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
    A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
    ______________________________________
    Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
    A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
    ______________________________________
    Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
    A: Oral.
    ______________________________________
    Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
    A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
    Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
    A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
    ______________________________________
    Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
    ______________________________________
    Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you chck for a pulse?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
    A: No.
    Q: Did you check for breathing?
    A: No.
    Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
    A: No.
    Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
    A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
    Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
    A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.

    Al.


  2. #2
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    3,882
    Rep Power
    90
    hahahah..that was a good laugh prof Al..


  3. #3
    Respected Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    412
    Rep Power
    66

    Nice one Al. i love stuff like this


  4. #4
    Respected Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    North Lincolnshire
    Posts
    543
    Rep Power
    69


Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. American Sniper
    By Dedworth in forum TV/Film/Video
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 29th January 2015, 00:50
  2. American Hustle
    By Terpe in forum Recommendations & Reviews
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 6th March 2014, 00:59
  3. American's first look at the New IPhone 5 s
    By bigmarco in forum Humour
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 30th September 2013, 21:24
  4. American Embassy
    By andy222 in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 13th September 2012, 18:52
  5. Anybody watching American Idol?
    By John.C in forum Loose Talk, Chat and Off Topic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 20th May 2012, 22:03

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Filipino Forum : Philippine Forum