Abusive Partners

[HACHE]

This thread is a few months old I know, but caught my eye somehow.

Seen alot of this stuff myself, first hand and in other peoples relationhips.

Fact is that all that cooercion, manipulation and abuse never creates anything other than stress for the "victim" and a sick temporary fix for the abuser. The abuser never finds happiness.

I think a lot of trouble starts at the start of the relationship when boundries are drawn.
When we're in that early stage of being loved up ( honeymoon period) its very easy to choose to ignore/overlook things that don't sit too well with us. we dismiss them as "one offs"...the problem is if they aren't one off incidents and we don't nip them in the bud, things just get worse..

[gWaPito]

This thread is a few months old I know, but caught my eye somehow.

Seen alot of this stuff myself, first hand and in other peoples relationhips.

Fact is that all that cooercion, manipulation and abuse never creates anything other than stress for the "victim" and a sick temporary fix for the abuser. The abuser never finds happiness.

I think a lot of trouble starts at the start of the relationship when boundries are drawn.
When we're in that early stage of being loved up ( honeymoon period) its very easy to choose to ignore/overlook things that don't sit too well with us. we dismiss them as "one offs"...the problem is if they aren't one off incidents and we don't nip them in the bud, things just get worse..

I agree, things do get worse. ..the trouble is, inherently good people see good in everyone. ..we can't help that. Even when things got so low I'd thought in my heart we could turn it all around.

I don't think you can nip stuff like this in the bud. ..it will only be nipped if you sack them off straight away. .in the courting stage. If you forgive or give some sort of reprimand, it'll give them the green light to act up again days, weeks, months even years down the line.

SimonH gave an example of what he experienced. ..it's a tragedy a few people have to be tested.

Btw. ..I'm grateful for the automated emails when someone replies to a thread I've contributed to. ..I wld of missed this otherwise. ..Cheers

[London_Manila]

I agree, things do get worse. ..the trouble is, inherently good people see good in everyone. ..we can't help that. Even when things got so low I'd thought in my heart we could turn it all around.

I don't think you can nip stuff like this in the bud. ..it will only be nipped if you sack them off straight away. .in the courting stage. If you forgive or give some sort of reprimand, it'll give them the green light to act up again days, weeks, months even years down the line.

SimonH gave an example of what he experienced. ..it's a tragedy a few people have to be tested.

Btw. ..I'm grateful for the automated emails when someone replies to a thread I've contributed to. ..I wld of missed this otherwise. ..Cheers

Thats the time to weed them out

As soon as they start any kind of manipulating bullshit/demands for money or hissy fits show them the door

[HACHE]

I agree, things do get worse. ..the trouble is, inherently good people see good in everyone. ..we can't help that. Even when things got so low I'd thought in my heart we could turn it all around.

I don't think you can nip stuff like this in the bud. ..it will only be nipped if you sack them off straight away. .in the courting stage. If you forgive or give some sort of reprimand, it'll give them the green light to act up again days, weeks, months even years down the line.

SimonH gave an example of what he experienced. ..it's a tragedy a few people have to be tested.

Btw. ..I'm grateful for the automated emails when someone replies to a thread I've contributed to. ..I wld of missed this otherwise. ..Cheers

It's a fair point really, someone twisted enough to be capable, willing to do this psychotic stuff, aren't gona learn to behave decently by being shown that they can't cross certain lines.

Abuse can't happen without a victim participating in the relationship...

[gWaPito]

It's a fair point really, someone twisted enough to be capable, willing to do this psychotic stuff, aren't gona learn to behave decently by being shown that they can't cross certain lines.

Abuse can't happen without a victim participating in the relationship...

From what I've learnt, once once the the game is up. .the isolation finished etc they tend to walk anyway They have no power over you. .the victim is no longer a victim. The spell is broken. The thought of a nice balanced relationship is In their mind, incomprehensible.