Quote Originally Posted by HACHE View Post
This thread is a few months old I know, but caught my eye somehow.

Seen alot of this stuff myself, first hand and in other peoples relationhips.

Fact is that all that cooercion, manipulation and abuse never creates anything other than stress for the "victim" and a sick temporary fix for the abuser. The abuser never finds happiness.

I think a lot of trouble starts at the start of the relationship when boundries are drawn.
When we're in that early stage of being loved up ( honeymoon period) its very easy to choose to ignore/overlook things that don't sit too well with us. we dismiss them as "one offs"...the problem is if they aren't one off incidents and we don't nip them in the bud, things just get worse..
I agree, things do get worse. ..the trouble is, inherently good people see good in everyone. ..we can't help that. Even when things got so low I'd thought in my heart we could turn it all around.

I don't think you can nip stuff like this in the bud. ..it will only be nipped if you sack them off straight away. .in the courting stage. If you forgive or give some sort of reprimand, it'll give them the green light to act up again days, weeks, months even years down the line.

SimonH gave an example of what he experienced. ..it's a tragedy a few people have to be tested.

Btw. ..I'm grateful for the automated emails when someone replies to a thread I've contributed to. ..I wld of missed this otherwise. ..Cheers