The Teach - Part 3

[Alan]

Here is another English lesson from The Teach.

This one is for Lexophiles (Lovers of words)

A bicycle cannot stand alone - it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road - poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you could get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France - result - Linoleum Blownapart.

A calendar's days are numbered.

Acupuncture - a jab well done.



Al.

[aromulus]

Here is another English lesson from The Teach.

This one is for Lexophiles (Lovers of words)

A bicycle cannot stand alone - it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

A backward poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road - poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you could get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France - result - Linoleum Blownapart.

A calendar's days are numbered.

Acupuncture - a jab well done.



Al.

I will have to put my foot down with a firm hand now...

[Alan]

Soooo Dom - the hand is on the other foot eh?

Al.

[fred]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German (which was the other possibility).




As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted
a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.

[kimmi]

Zats god Fred..am speking german nov?

[fred]

Zats god Fred..am speking german nov?

Kimmi.. Ya !!

Vee haf vays off makink you tork.

[KeithD]

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