Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
This story - of course - does NOT apply to me!

I had eighteen bottles of whisky and was told by my wife to empty the contents down the sink.....or else!! I said I would, and proceeded with this unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured it down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the third bottle and poured the glass down the sink, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank the sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass which I drank. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the sink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles and sinks with the other, which was 29, and as the house came by I counted them again.

Finally, I had the house in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not half as think as you might drunk I am. I fool so feelish, I don't know is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.

Gnight!

al.
Great Alan!!! Make sure you won't drive. You are drunk!!!