Children

[Alan]

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve, and the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!" said Adam.

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said in the first place.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT
SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

Al.

[joebloggs]

this is what they should have taught me at school.
little joe is wrecking the house, hes only 10 months old,, trying to pull the gas fire off the wall, pulling the telepohne cable and socket off the wall, ripping every thing, terrorising the dog,, , my sisters kids were not like this

stuck iwth him for life, and no address to return him to, damn stalk

[Mrs Daddy]

that makes our day alan...

[kimmi]

excellent Prof Al!! I do enjoy reading ur posts here..

[charlwill]

Good one!!!!

[gracia143]

Hmmm time spent here isn't wasted...but off to the swimming party in few minutes. Hey Al! Keep em' coming! Well done!

[Alan]

Thanks for your lovely comments guys. Glad you like these little stories.

Al.

[Shifty-Sidney]

Al, you have too much time on yr hands!
You need a good woman! - nope - you need to be with the good woman.

[kimmi]

yes we do, it really makes us happy even on those hard days..

[LEAHnew]

Nice Sir Alan ... A prove that you're not the one in the DRINKER'S STORY...

[Pepe n Pilar]

Another nice post Prof. Alan....