@ ... John Car
John ... according to Messrs Gilbert & Sullivan's comic operetta, 'Pirates of Penzance', "a policeman's lot is not an 'appy one". Here, then, is 'a little' in an attempt to restore your sense of humour and defuse any undue "heated tension" between you and a number of your fellow members here.
QUESTION
... what d'you imagine colleagues of a former Spanish detective who's relegated to "pounding the beat" might call him?
ANSWER
Carlos!