Partner decided not to get a visa

[blessed_ekim0826]

Last night, my partner and I were chatting about his part on working on visa and I told him that we need to supply more evidences that are specific and clear. I asked him if he could get a letter from a landlord stating that I will join with him as a partner in a 3 br house but he said that he will never do it bec he doesn't wanna tell his landlord or anybody except to his 4 kids about his sexuality. He's living in a small village and people there are small minded. So he thinks that the landlord will tell the village about him being gay if he will do it so he decided that I not going to continue getting a visa just bec of that. I just wanted to submit specific & clear evidences but its hard for him so its final to him not to continue the visa. Really sad & frustrating after the hard work.:(

[Arthur Little]

to read about these latest developments ... and I can truly sympathise with your feelings of sadness and frustration after ALL the sheer hard work you've put into the relationship.

Thank you for keeping us informed.

[Terpe]

I'm also sorry to learn your news. I can understand your disappointment.

[blessed_ekim0826]

to read about these latest developments ... and I can truly sympathise with your feelings of sadness and frustration after ALL the sheer hard work you've put into the relationship.

Thank you for keeping us informed.

I really don't understand why he cares the village than his feeling for me to get in the UK. He is not always in the house bec of his work but still he is worried if what will be the result if he come out of the closet. I told him to find another house that is open minded and no discrimination.

[Terpe]

I really don't understand why he cares the village than his feeling for me to get in the UK. He is not always in the house bec of his work but still he is worried if what will be the result if he come out of the closet. I told him to find another house that is open minded and no discrimination.

No offence intended here, but the problem is not with you. It's your partner who really needs to get himself together. It doesn't matter where he lives he needs to be honest to himself first and foremost.
It might be that he doesn't want that.

[blessed_ekim0826]

I'm also sorry to learn your news. I can understand your disappointment.

I will still sort it out on how I can get there to join him in the UK. I really want to live with him, its hard to live here when your partner is not with you and live far apart. Even People will not believe that our age difference is 41 but still we're both happy together.

[stevewool]

you might want to be with him in england but does he want you here with him,
Where there is a will these a way as they say, but it takes two to make this work

[blessed_ekim0826]

No offence intended here, but the problem is not with you. It's your partner who really needs to get himself together. It doesn't matter where he lives he needs to be honest to himself first and foremost.
It might be that he doesn't want that.

I told him that the People will still know about him if ever I get there so I think it is better to do it earlier. Does British old generation not really accept third sex?

[blessed_ekim0826]

you might want to be with him in england but does he want you here with him,
Where there is a will these a way as they sauy , but it takes two to make this work

He said that he wants me to be with him as he's tired living alone but problem is he cant tell anybody that his gay except to his 4 kids. Really hard to live in this sexuality.

[blessed_ekim0826]

Is it OK if the letter from landlord will just state a "Partner" only on the letter even without my name..

[aprilovez]

Is it OK if the letter from landlord will just state a "Partner" only on the letter even without my name..

what if landlord just state once your visa application is granted you are welcome to live with (his name) etc etc ... ??? and add details of house ??

[tiger31]

to be honest with you if you did make it to the u.k you would probably have a hard time in a small village. Being gay in a city is a whole lot easier as there will be gay communities to mix with but a small village I think you will come up against narrow minded people who will disapprove of your relationship also with such a big age gap on top. He wants to keep his sexuality secret because he knows what might happen in such a small village and could get hounded out. Being gay in the philippines is far more open and accepted from what I can see here.

[rhaichard]

ohh my dear .. sorry to hear that i feel little guilty after the advice that i gave you on skype

[blessed_ekim0826]

to be honest with you if you did make it to the u.k you would probably have a hard time in a small village. Being gay in a city is a whole lot easier as there will be gay communities to mix with but a small village I think you will come up against narrow minded people who will disapprove of your relationship also with such a big age gap on top. He wants to keep his sexuality secret because he knows what might happen in such a small village and could get hounded out. Being gay in the philippines is far more open and accepted from what I can see here.

That's what he explained to me.

[blessed_ekim0826]

ohh my dear .. sorry to hear that i feel little guilty after the advice that i gave you on skype

Don't feel guilt. Your advised was right but the problem is my partner's situation in a small village so he might need to move.