Maybe this should be in the humour section...

[KeithD]

The new Chelski manager didn't turn up for work yesterday to train the Breznev troops .....It was Saturday....the Jewish day of rest........ now I may be wrong here, but I think football is usually played on a Saturday

[fred]

Little tip for you from the world famous Bear trader Simon Caulkwell..(AKA Evil Knievil)

"I have recovered £200,000 in markets. Done nuttin' on sports - save to lose £30,000 on Champions League by opposing Barcelona. This latter team is, I am reliably told, Mourinho's next home. You read it here first. Place your bets now."