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  1. #1
    Respected Member ginapeterb's Avatar
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    Ady, Hi mate my name is Pete, I have been following your story, and your concerns, the guys are right in one respect, yes ok you send her P5000.00 a month, and she tells you she earns around P5500.00 a month in the cafe.

    So she has a combined income of P10,500 which is a good income by Filipino standards, my wife used to earn that amount in her own right as a general manager of a private clinic.

    Firstly, I have a saying about internet relationships in the Philippines, and it kind of goes like this:

    If you suspect things are not quite right, then your instinct is normally spot on...

    Relationships over internet are frought with danger, and always will be, there are many successes, but also there are just as many failures, and its not about them being a Filipinos and you being a brit, nationality has absolutely nothing to do with it.

    Personality and personal agenda has everything to do with it, the time element also gets me thinking, I assume from your comments this girl is married, and is awaiting an anulment which you say you are saving for.

    The first thing is, guys get into these situations when quite frankly, there is no need to ever place yourself in it, there are literally hundreds of thousands of young ladies from Philippines who are not saddled with the baggage of having to be annuled so that you can marry them.

    You love this girl. I understand that, but its been a long time you have known her by internet relationship standards, its now been 3 years, in the time you have known this lady, my wife and I met in 2003, I divorced in 2004, completed in 2005, married in 2005, and we have lived in UK for 2 years.

    My point is this, she seems lethargic about communicating with you, as the other guys have said, this is a red flag, a filipina who is in love with you, will never tire of talking to you, I know some couples who spend 8 hours a day online for 2 years, that is the nature of that couples relationship.

    All are different, your girl may have a new agenda you are not privvy to, I had an e mail from a young Filipino who lived on Bohol...the email said this.

    Hi Pete my name is...xxxxx I have a British Boyfreind, I love him very much and we are soon to get married, he works for xxxx and I was just wondering how to get the visa for my entry to UK, I am so looking forward to coming..can you tell me the procedures.

    I replied and referred her to my website.

    2 months later, this lady e mailed me yet again.

    Hi Pete can you advise me "My boyfriend has been made redundant, and he says he is not working right now, he says it might be months before he gets a nother job, and he says, he cannot afford to get me to UK right now, but anyway Pete, I fell out of live with him, I dont want to sound bad, but I met an American from Texas, he is really nice, and I think I love him, he is coming to see me in November, am I a bad person ?

    I feel so bad Pete, but I dont love xxxx anymore, I love xxxx from Texas...
    do you think that the British Embassy will tell the American embassy about my previous visa application.?

    Please reply.

    You see Ady...no money no honey !

    Sometimes agendas are different...again i stress to you, if your radar is up and things dont seem right, your instinct is not often wrong.

    Best of luck mate....dont be taken for a ride, remember there are plenty more fish in the sea....and its a very big sea !!


  2. #2
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    Yes, I can also see the red flags.

    I would give her some more rope... But no money until things are clearer.
    If she was coping alright before you came on the scene, stopping the 5k for a while ain't going to make much difference, or any at all.
    Let her do the running and try to contact you at times.
    I did leave a pc and all paraphernalia with my wife, on my second trip there, and also got her on broadband. But I was 100% sure of her love for me, and her family respect.

    Welcome on board mate.

    Long distance relationships are never easy, but here on this, and Peter's site you will find lots of info that might help you cope.

    good luck


  3. #3
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    Thanks for the words Pete. I don't want to offend anyone - but I am not attracted to filipinas - I am just attracted to this girl that happens to be filipina. She makes me feel loved, but she can make me insecure too.

    Maybe I am just tired of having a relationship in the net. She gave me access to her e-mails, and she gets invites from guys for certain things like dating sites. That hurts me... but she gave me access so I think it is a good sign.

    One time, I was suspicious of a guy in her place in Davao. He was a friend to her sister, and worked with her sister - but used to travel home with my girlfriend. One day she didn't work on the Saturday - but she came online very late, and he came online the same time. I reacted - and he said I was unfair. She said that they were just cleaning her old house so that he could rent it and live there. I stayed away a while, and she kept calling me but I didn't answer. She mailed me and sent me messages in Yahoo.

    One day (18 months ago) I logged into her Yahoo Messenger - and he left a message about how he enjoyed his time at KFC - and mahal kita. She said they never met at KFC, and she was upset. But I am mad, and I say I will call him. She gave me his number - and he said that they didn't meet. He was just playing a game. But why would he do that? And when I called her, she is in tears. I said it will be OK... but later that night I decided THE END. I called her, and I can remember her tears and cry. Even now it haunts me. I can't hurt her because I love her, but how to know if she really loves me?

    Oh shoot... I have been messed around. I took her to HK in June - really she was warm and loving to me. I will go now... truthfully I have just confused myself more.

    Thanks a lot guys... I mean it sincerely, but my mind is confusing everything.


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