Hello Addy, Three years is a long time and yet you didn’t know where your relationship is going. I just want to share my thoughts and experience on this.
I think you must have to talk and open this up to her. On my case that I am only separated from my husband (now annulled) before I meet my fiancé. Lots of questions comes to my mind. So, on my point of view she might have the same feeling as I had before. Lots of “what if’s in my mind”. Like where would our relationship ends? (specially yours that its been 3 years already). How serious is he to me considering my situation? Will he be able to accept my son? What if he cant wait till I will be free? What if my annulment will not be granted? What if I will be madly in love with him and he don’t love me really? (Like ur gf I had a very tough life too with my ex so for me I really need to be very careful). A feeling of insecurities arise as you have been aware that lots of young women are wanting to be with westerners since the internet has been popularized.
I must admit that before I meet him personally 4 years ago, though we talk very seriously via emails daily and he calls me at least 3 times a day but still I was not so convince if he really want me that much. Still I could not build the trust because of my situation. Not until we meet 6 months after communicating and that he wanted me to be committed to him as he said he loves me and want me and would hurt him very much if the time I will just meet him one day and leave him for the rest of the 3 weeks just flying here in the Philippines to meet me. But after our meeting and he has answered all my questions on my mind day by day that makes us draws closer and fell in love with each.
Some questions are: Are you willing to wait till she is free, provided that she still has another case this time to sort out? Though you mention that she said she can get annulled a week or 2. I haven’t heard that but that is in Davao. In Cebu I heard there was 2 months being handled by my lawyer as what his messenger told me the other day. But for sure with that kind of annulment she has to take risk if technicalities arise as for sure there is “magic” on the proceedings. A normal annulment that is really following the proper court order would really takes nearly a year and even years. (Mine is more than 2 years).
I think she needed your support too and give her assurance with your relationship that you will be together soon either in the UK or in the Philippines. If you really love her that much. Not only words but let her feel it by your presence by visiting her as what others says here. Filipinos value more the family and it will be a points too in order to make a good foundation in your relationship and not just by meeting her to other country. Also if a woman is introducing you to her family you will feel more secure as you can tell that it is true. ( It is not that I am saying that it is your gf but just based on the experience of a friend from Birmingham who happened communicate a girl from Iligan but the woman wants to meet him in Cebu, she just took her money and said good bye, then he found out that she is married with kids. It hurts him very much but anyway he is happy now with another woman.)
It seems I can sense that both of you are having uncertainties in your mind by then. But this have to be taken seriously if you really love each other. Open communication is very much needed. As for sure you cannot read her mind nor she does to you.
But still you have to open your senses still as to other possibilities of her change and the red flags that other says. You have to evaluate other aspects too. And if your senses tells you that she is being dishonest to you then I think it is better to move on though it will hurt at first but in the long process wounds will heal.
