Tips on a Profile

[Pete/London]

Time on my hands at the moment so stumbled across this profile

Simple life and please you must not offer to buy sex from me or otherwise I will report you. I am not interested in your money the slightest. Thank you for respecting.

To nice forks I have read every message but unfortunately I can't always reply back just the same as on my line or whats app sincerely apologise for that. I will get back to you when I can.

To ass hole .... off and die and you MUST reborn with a gold dick before I can delivery my body to your door steep.

To the guys who have got the look and money. Please don't contact me if you think that you are a god. If when you are dead and you can bring your dick with you then please do be my god and if not obviously you are the same as me and everybody else.

I AM LOOKING FOR FRIENDS ONLY not interested in any relationship love stuff. I have already married to my fashion course.

Please no brain dead greeting with Hello, Hi and How are you. I case you don't know I'm always good no matter what situations I am in.

I don't follow your pocket I follow my heart only. If you think that your money can buy everything please go and buy someone else.

I don't respect you because of your money like many people here do. I respect honesty, good and intelligent people.

If you are too old please don't find love at my profile I am a very energetic person and I don't like the idea of praying before bed time.

I am not interested in talking to farangs who left your brain at the airport OK.

NO old and young men with ridiculous attitude please.

Please don't call me honey, babe, darling, tee rak, joop joop and more those words are can only use for my love one.

Please stop sending messages saying that how beautiful I am please. I am not as beautiful as you might think I am it sounds so boring.

Could you guys possibly stop sending me messages say that I will have problem finding the right man. If I do that is my problem not yours and why are you guys bothering so much with it? If you are looking for a doormat go and find elsewhere.

Bare that in your mind once your money run out of your pocket. You will certainly be the king of the street in Thailand/Asia.

Sorry guys no Asian and Arab men please. I don't think that I am a suitable person for you I think that I will get kick three times before meals. No Turkish men please.

PLEASE GUYS NO MORE MESSAGES GIVE ME COMPLIMENT ABOUT MY HONESTY AND INTELLIGENT. I AM WAY TOO TIRED TO READ THOSE MESSAGES.

I am not a GUIDE I repeat this I am not a GUIDE is not my job OK. If you want someone to take you around please contact the guide agency.

I would like to express my thank you to whom are found my profile very amusing and honest but to the ones who have found my profile very negative. I think that you need a brain surgery I can send you four to five brains volunteering but there is no guaranty that after your surgery you might transform into four legs.

NO mind games and could you possibly back off please?


There are many of you guys have asked me what I want?

I want to be successful and help children.

In the future I want to have a loving loyalty and helpful to others husband with two kids.


She has a way with words that will probably scare off many people, but I like her attitude.

[stevewool]

wow, i am glad i am out of that game, looking that is

[Terpe]

Hmmm, I've got one of those already....... took me 20 years to round off the corners.

Still working on those razor-sharp edges....looks like it's a lifetime's work

[Michael Parnham]

I don't even understand what it's all about!

[grahamw48]

Funny, that reminds me of mine...but with women's bits instead of men's.

[gWaPito]

This internet lark certainly attracts some wierdos.

Good post Pete

[Ako Si Jamie]

She's brutally honest but comes across as angry too which doesn't look good on a profile.

And friends only?

Got your work cut out there boys!

What nationality is she btw?

[London_Manila]

I did read on one profile

" i dont like man that comes to philippines and plays with many lady"

If some were brutally honest it should read "Cash cow wanted for severe milking"

[grahamw48]

She's brutally honest but comes across as angry too which doesn't look good on a profile.

And friends only?

Got your work cut out there boys!

What nationality is she btw?

Got to be a Thai lady I reckon.

[grahamw48]

I did read on one profile

" i dont like man that comes to philippines and plays with many lady"

If some were brutally honest it should read "Cash cow wanted for severe milking"

Too true.

[Pete/London]

Definitely Thai,

some really funny parts though such as

If you are too old please don't find love at my profile I am a very energetic person and I don't like the idea of praying before bed time, and the kicked 3 times before breakfast.

[grahamw48]

Agree.....hilarious.

[Arthur Little]

Y'know this subject puts me in mind of the occasion when I was dating a *schoolteacher (yes ... *ANOTHER one! ) for a short spell during my 17 years of widowhood. Things appeared to be ticking along nicely ... until one evening over dinner, when she suddenly glanced furtively across the table and ... with an embarrassed look on her face - which simultaneously assumed a redd(ish) hue - announced in a barely audible whisper: "I really love going out with you, Arthur ... but would ... um ... ... like us to have a platonic relationship!"

Now, it's not as if either of us had ever [previously] broached the subject of ... (well ... ... you don't, do you?) but I seem to remember thinking: ... ... "what's the point in that? ... ... hell, I might as well be spending my evenings down the pub with my same sex friends!!!

[Pete/London]

I hope you pulled up your trousers and put your todger away after that Arthur

[Arthur Little]

I hope you pulled up your trousers and put your todger away after that Arthur

Pete ... after we'd "made a meal of it" - my "manhood" (not to mention my ego) duly deflated - I then slunk away quietly, with said 'tadger' ... I mean "tail" ... flacidly hung between my legs!!

[grahamw48]

Should have followed the golden rule Arthur...no sex by the second date ? ....blow em out.

[Ako Si Jamie]

Is this on a dating site? Because if it is, nobody is going to travel halfway around the world just to be "friends"!

I admire her honesty though but I think she's narrowed the field to a large degree with that statement.

[Ako Si Jamie]

Y'know this subject puts me in mind of the occasion when I was dating a *schoolteacher (yes ... *ANOTHER one! ) for a short spell during my 17 years of widowhood. Things appeared to be ticking along nicely ... until one evening over dinner, when she suddenly glanced furtively across the table and ... with an embarrassed look on her face - which simultaneously assumed a redd(ish) hue - announced in a barely audible whisper: "I really love going out with you, Arthur ... but would ... um ... ... like us to have a platonic relationship!"

Now, it's not as if either of us had ever [previously] broached the subject of ... (well ... ... you don't, do you?) but I seem to remember thinking: ... ... "what's the point in that? ... ... hell, I might as well be spending my evenings down the pub with my same sex friends!!!

Know the feeling Arth. It's just a nicer way of saying F off.

Worse scenario though is getting ignored completely.

[grahamw48]

Did somebody say something ?

[Ako Si Jamie]

I changed my strategy after awhile. I began my profile by warning off scammers.

Doesn't always work but I reckon it puts out a message to most that they're wasting their time.

[Pete/London]

May put off some of the nicer girls, thinking your a tight ....

[fred]

[fred]

[fred]

[SimonH]

Looking good Fred, can you send me some load

[Ako Si Jamie]

May put off some of the nicer girls, thinking your a tight ....

If they're intelligent enough, they'd understand where I was coming from. Also, if you come across serious like that on your profile, a woman will take you seriously and won't think you're just going to the Philippines to get laid.

I've recieved some good feedback on my profiles mainly because I talk about the places I've visited in the Phils and I also add some tagalog. Seem to give off a good impression.

[Pete/London]

can you get laid in the Philippines?
checking flights now

[Ako Si Jamie]

Only if you've got proof of an onward journey when arriving!

[Michael Parnham]

can you get laid in the Philippines?
checking flights now

No problem, good luck Pete

[Pete/London]

I think the cat on the floor has spotted a budgie