More Painful than visa rejection.

[Jentobeharrison]

I am not really familiar here yet aside from posting stuff and asking questions but somehow I realised it will be better if I would start (well I already started with my Introduction of my self thread) a way where I can interact with you more.

I know that this is a bit personal but I will just let you know some of the things that make me really pre-occupied this day. I think there are some people here who can relate with this entry but I have no intention of making you feel sad and hopeless, let's just be real.

As on my previous post, my boyfriend and I looked like we have an almost perfect relationship, yes we do but as I also mentioned, we have ups and downs, unfortunately today, I had the most unexpected day of my life.

It started with the MTO test and my fiance has only limited savings for us, for my future fiancee visa, apparently his car did not pass the MTO test and he has to buy a new car which we all know it costs a lot and he told me that he doubts us against this visa.

My world became blank and called him, I am broken. Cried out loud and beg him to be strong and we can make it, we only have a month and we're getting there. He then told me everything (don't want to put into details), made me hurt more. We both love each other but there are things which are not under our control, it's unfair. The most painful thing I have heard today is, he is trying to detach himself to me so he would not be hurt that much once our fiancee visa got refused, fair play but it hurts. I am trying to be strong for us, but how will I stand if I know that he already lost his hope? So again, even if I was breaking down, I still stood up and become like a bible again by giving him power words, it wasn't that successful

Generally, it is quite unfair that someone has to decide about our relationship. I am really amazed how visas can change every one's life especially couples who are genuinely in love. I know that there is always a way if you really want to but what if there's no way left anymore? Some will say it is impossible, but believe me, it's true, one's options can be not enough for every thing and it hurts, it really does.

Money can't buy happiness, yes it can. Our partners are our happiness, and we cannot be together for good without the use of money. Yes, it is true.

Love has no boundaries, yet it has. It's the immigration.

Tonight, I am trying to put myself into track again and go back studying about visa stuff without interest at all. I lost my energy looking at my computer screen and crying for hours. I wanted to give up because I am already making his life miserable and he's getting disorganised but we both want this I know, he might just be totally overpowered by negative vibes because of what we have been through for a year and our visa rejection last week. We both want each other, we love each other but one is almost giving up, that is more painful than visa rejection.

[raynaputi]

Is it necessary to apply for a visa next month? You both can wait a bit longer until you satisfy the financial requirement. A lot of members here had to make (and are making) the same sacrifices. I know it's unfair but it's the only way, well unless you both go the EU route.

You both need to think things through and not rush when it comes to this. Holding on and staying strong together can be really helpful. If he gives up your relationship because of one visa rejection, then I think he won't be there in the long run either.

[Jentobeharrison]

We do not actually have a problem with financial requirements as his gross pay really fit it but his personality is not that strong to cope up with loneliness. That is what I am trying to explain to him that this time I want this to be sure so we will not do this in rush as what we did last January. I hope he can still cope with this.

[grahamw48]

Is it necessary to apply for a visa next month? You both can wait a bit longer until you satisfy the financial requirement. A lot of members here had to make (and are making) the same sacrifices. I know it's unfair but it's the only way, well unless you both go the EU route.

You both need to think things through and not rush when it comes to this. Holding on and staying strong together can be really helpful. If he gives up your relationship because of one visa rejection, then I think he won't be there in the long run either.

Very wise words, with which I totally agree.

You are both very young, with a lot more time on your hands than some of us.

Try to be patient and accept that it is this sort of test that will help you both decide whether the relationship is strong enough to weather the years ahead.

The actual visa requirements, harsh as they are, should not be insurmountable for a determined young British man to overcome...IF he really wants to.

[Trefor]

Sorry to hear about the hard times. Being apart does not help either. This whole visa business is very stressful and requires a lot of paperwork, meaning you have to be organised and want things to work out. Best thing is to write down the sequence of things that need to be done, and don't push too hard on the timeframes if that is stressing him out. Once it is 'on paper' you can see the challenges and what needs to be done.

By the way, a new car doesn't have to be a NEW car. In the UK you can pick up a very good car for £3,000 which would be reliable and safe for long distance use. If he doesn't need to do long distances then £1,000 will get something safe and in reasonable condition.

Keep focused, you'll get there if it is meant to be!

[Harry T]

New Car, replace the word with "Another" Car, my present Car a Renault Scenic cost me £250 brought off ebay 2 1/2 years ago, it had 5 weeks MOT and 3 months Tax. The Car before that i brought for £280 another Renault Scenic off Ebay, that had a short MOT and Tax that lasted me 2 1/2 years, My ex GF,s car is a Vauxhall Corsa 6 months Tax, 12 Months MOT cost £500 off Ebay i think 4+ years now she had it, there are bargains to be had off Ebay, just make sure the person you buy off, has a good feedback rating, nothing under 95% from minimum of 50+ sales.

[stevewool]

New Car, replace the word with "Another" Car, my present Car a Renault Scenic cost me £250 brought off ebay 2 1/2 years ago, it had 5 weeks MOT and 3 months Tax. The Car before that i brought for £280 another Renault Scenic off Ebay, that had a short MOT and Tax that lasted me 2 1/2 years, My ex GF,s car is a Vauxhall Corsa 6 months Tax, 12 Months MOT cost £500 off Ebay i think 4+ years now she had it, there are bargains to be had off Ebay, just make sure the person you buy off, has a good feedback rating, nothing under 95% from minimum of 50+ sales.

Thats how to do it right

[grahamw48]

Haha...my kind of buying.

Admittedly I paid a huge 800 quid for my last eBay bargain, but I did get 60,000 miles out of it before selling on for £500, and little more than MOT tests paid out. (I got mileage allowance anyway).

[SimonH]

On the car theme, I went to Boots yesterday to stock up on baby food and ended up buying this


30002404787_RK14UMF_1.jpg

[manilanian2014]

Just continue to be strong and God's love you both..