In these sorts of topics you'll always encounter partisan motivated reasoning.

It's a pity really.
I can still recall a time when most forum members would focus on the aspect of help and support.

Some folks would much rather support opinions that they would otherwise oppose in the absence of a personal experience influenced by personal judgement.

I say that every successful relationship requires teamworking, shared understanding and compromise. It's for all couples to have honest discussion where divergence exits and come to agreement.
Many years ago I doubt whether such important discussions took place prior to marriage.
These days it's got to be a priority......especially for those who are second time around.

I think the OP and his wife need to sit together and discuss financials. There really are two sides to each issue between couples.
I strongly object to advice that the wife get immediately dumped. How about the welfare of the child.
How about the family unit.

Let's be more constructive than that.

Most folks take their first steps in a search for love when quite young. Hoping to stay together.
Doesn't always happen.
If two people are lucky enough to find romance, true friends and soul-mates, I suggest it usually doesn't matter at which point in life they do so or from which background and culture they come from.

I'd rather suggest it depends on whether you hold the Egalitarianism's view or the Traditionalists view.