Do all filipina's brought to uk act like this??

[Takenoprisoners]

I brought my wife of 3yrs to this country in 2010, but for the past 2yrs all I get is moan moan moan about how she wants to have money sent home, how she wants money sent to Phils bank for business venture, how she wants a house built there too, also wants to be a British Citizen, wants money all the time, I am many years older than her, but she just seems to want to prepare for when I am dead.

Life here is not her happiness, it's all about making sure she is wealthy when I am dead. I don't have masses of money, I have taken out 2 life insurances for her for when I die, she says its not enough... I bought her land in Phils before we left, but she always wants to build on it, and build her mum a house too, and in process of building that now. No matter how much I spend on her its never ever enough...

We have a small child, if it wasn't for him I would get rid of her.... am I alone in this scenario or are there others out there like this???

[stevewool]

So sorry to hear this, it may be the same for others too, but its down to you to stop it also, put your foot down and just say no to what you cannot give her,

[raynaputi]

I for one isn't like that. Apart from wanting some new clothes and shoes sometimes, and dining out now and again, I don't ask anything from my hubby with regards to money and such. I always just wait what he can offer/give me but never demand. We don't have much anyway.

Anyway, I'm sorry if you are experiencing things like that. Does your wife work? Maybe you can tell her to work for things she wants!

[stevie c]

I have heard if horror stories before luckily me & my wife have the atittude of what's mine is hers & what's hers is mine also what we don't have, we don't miss

I agree with steve tell her it takes hard work & sacrifices to have all that she wants so my advice is for her to work & save hard

[Terpe]

Plenty of Filipinas have determination. My wife does and I respect that and encourage it too.

I don't personally know any that are money-oriented in the way you describe.

If my wife want to do something and we can't give a priority to that spend or if we have no budget for that then it doesn't get spent.

It's a two way communication but I can't think of a time it caused a major argument or nastiness.

It's always difficult to give any advice when each persons perception is not known.

But if you truly aren't able to do something then you must tell her that and tell her why.

[marksroomspain]

Basically I gave my wife an allowance each month when she was not working due to the fact she wanted to stay with our son until he was about 9 months old, luckily enough we are mortgage free and in a position for that to happen.

When my wife did start work the allowance stopped and I told her what she earned she could keep and out of it send money back to her family.

Having said that, she only sends £100 a month home basically to help her parents out with the rent etc.

But really you should say to her if she's not already working is to get a job and then she can do as she pleases.

Mmm tricky this, but you must put your foot down once and for all.

Good Luck...

[grahamw48]

Perhaps you can go along to 'Relate', and have a neutral (and experienced) person speak to you both ?

I wish I had done this with my ex-wife when it was suggested by her.

[Takenoprisoners]

Thanks for your replies, and advice, she does work 2 days a week, she earns a £100 a week, she keeps that, and I give her money when I can, but this isn't enough. Problem is, she spends too much time on facebook, and 2 of her friends have wealthy husbands, and I think she thinks I should be rich too..

Everything revolves around money with her. She doesn't really seem to bother about me, has no interest in anything in this country, except how to make money, watch filipino movies, facebook, and sending money back home.....and when she can find time spend time with our son. We row daily, but I couldn't bear to let my son go and live in phils, so the nightmare continues.....

[highlander01]

Believe me , Filipinas have no monopoly in spending money - try a British wife....

[Dedworth]

Farcebook causing problems once again

[marga]

She's jealous about her two friends having rich husbands. There are really people who will never be contented on having things, they will always crave for more. It might be better if you tell your wife to get a fulltime job, that way she has less time on facebook and will definitely earn more money.

That way she can have whatever she fancies. Just a thought

[tiger31]

wow can,t believe how demanding she is, sounds like she did,nt marry you for love that,s for sure. What a nightmare position you find yourself in. Did she not show any of those traits before you married her?

[RickyR]

I don't think this is exactly normal, but perhaps both of your expectations are misaligned and you need to sit down and seriously talk about what you have and what you are capable of. Of course it's her instinct to do what's best for her family, and maybe she believes that you have a never ending pot of gold, it can be normal for some families in the Philippines to spend every penny they have and not prepare adequately for the future, and I am sure it would be the same in the UK was it not for the pensions/welfare state etc.

I am very very open with my wife about money, we have joint accounts and know what savings and pensions we have for the future. For instance, this morning when my work text me with my salary breakdown (automatic text rather then payslip...) My salary changes by significant sums each month so its we both know what excess we have to save or send to the Philippines to help out/invest.

We also see the 'keeping up the jones' attitude here in our little expat communities, firstly amongst all the middle class expat/British mummies comparing houses/cars/lifestyle (makes me vomit) and then occasionally with Filipinas that we come across who can be jealous of Marvie (although it is very rare). We tend to avoid these kind of people and live our own life, but of course there always will be a little bit of pride in there somewhere.

I hope that you manage to talk and understand one another and the realities what you have and need for the future. If your wife is building properties in the Philippines, perhaps have a say in that and make sure its in her name and you guys can use it as a holiday home, and eventually one day of course it will become the families, but your interests as a couple should come first.

[rani]

Do all filipina's brought to uk act like this??

The answer is plain and simple NO

[bigmac]

i want
i want
i want

money
money
money

oh--MAN up MAN--teach her a new word--NO !!!

you're her meal ticket---what do you think shes going to do if you turn off the £tap?

[malditako]

she's an envious type of person who wants to show off all the time to her peers i guess! She probably didnt get much of material things before.

[Michael Parnham]

She earns £433 per calendar month £5200 per annum, why can't she save that towards a house in the Philippines. The best way to save is not to spend!

[melovesengland]

She needs to be shaken up and she needs to wake up! Try to sit down and talk to her to make her understand that you're not BILL GATES.

She is already earning money and still you give her? I am not being very rude but I don't tolerate filipinas like that. If I were you, stop giving her money, let her realize the value of each penny. Let her manage the money shes earning.

It may cause a big argument but if that's the way she wakes up from her dreamworld then so be it.

[mike1]

I,d tell her to wise up a bit, sounds as if she is paranoid about money - plenty like her and plenty more filipinos the opposite to her, like to earn their own money which gives them their independence- very important

[bigmac]

the wife earns a £100 a week--if she sent all that home--how far will it go? call it 30,000 peso a month.

I recall reading on here builders labourers working for about £5 a day

I've really no idea about money in the filis---what does an "average" family live on a month ?

[melovesengland]

the wife earns a £100 a week--if she sent all that home--how far will it go? call it 30,000 peso a month.

i recall reading on here builders labourers working for about £5 a day

ive really no idea about money in the filis---what does an "average" family live on a month ?

It actually depends on the lifestyle of the family. Sometimes, they don't understand how complicated and hard life in the UK can be and can get. All they know is the xchange rate of £ is more than one peso.

If you spoil the family, let them feel that you have money even though you haven't then they will assume that they can get and have whatever they want. It is sad but it is reality. If you haven't got the guts to say that we don't earn gold everyday then some will take advantage.

We also have the attitude of make do and mend. Whatever came to our table is a blessing which is really good. I'm lucky to have a family that understand my situation and support me.

I contribute payment for bills at home like the net, half of the rent which my husband promised them and electric which is less than £100. It is only because my daughter consumed most of it so I pay for it which I think is reasonable.

Unless you say stop and you put a stop on it, it will go on and on and on.

[grahamw48]

Good post !

[sentinent]

Everything revolves around money with her. She doesn't really seem to bother about me, has no interest in anything in this country, except how to make money, watch filipino movies, facebook, and sending money back home.....

I think the answer is clear to a blind man on a galloping horse. Get rid. Seems harsh I know. But she is not going to change. You have admitted that there is a big age gap. My opinion is that you have a gold-digger by the tail. Whatever you decide to do I hope you eventually find peace and happiness.

[stevewool]

the only thing i would get rid of is those life insurance policies, you may meet your maker before you know if you dont

[stevie c]

I couldn't agree more steve that crossed my mind as well

[Moy]

I brought my wife of 3yrs to this country in 2010, but for the past 2yrs all I get is moan moan moan about how she wants to have money sent home, how she wants money sent to Phils bank for business venture, how she wants a house built there too, also wants to be a British Citizen, wants money all the time, I am many years older than her, but she just seems to want to prepare for when I am dead.

Life here is not her happiness, it's all about making sure she is wealthy when I am dead. I don't have masses of money, I have taken out 2 life insurances for her for when I die, she says its not enough... I bought her land in Phils before we left, but she always wants to build on it, and build her mum a house too, and in process of building that now. No matter how much I spend on her its never ever enough...

We have a small child, if it wasn't for him I would get rid of her.... am I alone in this scenario or are there others out there like this???

i would like to meet your wife and must tell her I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best. and Only he that has traveled the road knows where the holes are deep...

[stevewool]

you are the best Moy , after my Ems

[Moy]

you are the best Moy , after my Ems

i must say stevewool that the greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.

[stevewool]

i must say stevewool that the greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never want where the mind is satisfied.

very well said Moy

[Moy]

very well said Moy

I myself had lived without nothing since so until now even I got so much .. my feet are straying to where I came from