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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.

The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on me and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy, they slice me up and put me in a salad.
The Penis says, "You think that your lives are tough? Whenever I get big, fat and juicy they throw a plastic bag over my head, shove me in a wet, dark, smelly room, and force me to do push-ups until I puke and pass out !